To think a lot of people shouldn’t have had kids and it shows?

[SharpTaupeHawk]

Some parents clearly resent their kids, or use them as props, or just seem overwhelmed and bitter. AIBU to think not everyone is cut out for parenthood and it’s obvious?

Well done for stating what everyone else already knows.

Yeh I agree. I find people that are very career focused and hyper plan and micro manage their pregnancies and children's routines when they eventually decide to have kids are the worst. Totally unrealistic expectations and have gotten too used to life on their terms and struggle with the chaos and demands that comes with motherhood.

The most self absorbed mothers I know are the ones that waited far too long.

Nah, stages of life change, some parts of child rearing are unexpectedly totally overwhelming. Add in unexpected life events and fuck me it can be awful. Also, kids are their own people and they change as they grow, and the dynamic of families constantly changes as a result. And it can be very hard to keep up even with the best will in the world

I presume your family/parenting is perfect? Maybe give some tips if so.

Yes. Medical issues aside, anyone can have children but not everyone can be a good parent, and those with the self awareness to know they wouldn’t make good parents before they have children are to be congratulated.

And yet here you are, contributing anyway. ⭐

I think maybe a lot of people go in naively and raising children looks a lot different from what it did 50 years ago. People have children later, there is less grandparent support, lots of us move away from where we grew up and struggle to make the same connections and friendships. Normally both parents have to work and it can be a real juggle.

I’ve got a friend who thought her mum would do lots of childcare but she’s now retired and having lots of fun on holidays. She’s quite bitter about that. She also loved going to the gym, nice meals, having time to herself and really misses that. I would say she seems unhappy about having children so I was very surprised when she said she was going for number two. Turns out it’s so they play together and she gets a break. Naive…

Well there are people who want cute babies to dress and treat like a doll or an accessory that is where it ends or the my friend/neighbour/colleague/social media wanna be so i want one too or i will miss out

In for a penny, in for a pound….

What exactly is the point of this thread?

Yea, some people struggle for a multitude of reasons, many of which are not predictable.

Does it make you feel good about yourself to smugly look on thinking ‘you shouldn’t of had kids’.

So unhelpful.

Do you really think anyone is going to comment that every parent is perfect though and that all should’ve had children? Social services, nspcc etc exist.

Its like starting a thread saying “AIBU to think some people like different foods to me?” .

No job description, training or qualifications needed for what I imagine is quite a difficult job.

Usually it’s only invisible to the person themselves. Everyone around them? super obvious

And that helps the person and the child how?

They have already been born.

Agree with pp about the liking it to a question about food preferences

If you happen to have a child that requires a lot more support or care than the average child then it is not strange to feel overwhelmed. Likewise if you had planned the child as a couple but become a single parent. And many other scenarios. Smugness doesn't help anyone.

It’s hardly on the same level as food preferences but okay. Glad you finally started that diet.

Perhaps you should look at society and our lack of support for each other and our families

Yeah I think so. It’s probably one of the reasons the birth rate has dropped. It’s a relatively recent thing that people have had the freedom not to have babies if they don’t want to.

You can say that about why have more kids when you can't control your other kids. Usually see this when mother is pregnant or got a very young baby with her and kids are badly behaved, screaming etc.

She also loved going to the gym, nice meals, having time to herself and really misses that

All of these things are still possible with children. Based on what I read on here, the issue is rarely the children and more likely to be useless fathers.

I completely agree. There are a lot of parents who are incapable of unconditional love. Everything comes with strings attached.

Using the useless father line may explain the first born but to keep on having them?

Yes, she should still be able to do these things. Most of us would be miserable if we couldn’t do them @AluckyEllie

It's what the bots are good at. They know what people will bite at.

Is that diet remark your attempt at a quip? Failed miserably if so.

You posted on AIBU, you need to realise that some people will think you’re being unreasonable.

I just find it so strange. The OP and similar threads all make an obvious statement but it’s written as if it’s something profound.

Is it bots or just very odd people? I’m not sure.