Friends SIL dumped her DH while in USA

[canyoufeelz]

Background is the wife of a close friends brother is American and recently travelled back by herself home to see her family. Her DH was under the impression that she would return home. Turns out she has dumped him over the phone and has no plans to return to the UK as she would prefer to live in sunny Southern California and does not want to have any kids, which DH does eventually want to have but not for another 5 years at least. The DH did know they was having serious marriage issues so her splitting with him was not out of the realm of possibility.

The said wife has got a lot of negative opinion regarding her actions in our friend group. Dumping him while in another country has not gone down well.

Do you think friends SIL behaved in an unforgivable manner?

Do you just want to gossip? What business is it of yours?

What does the opinion of strangers matter to you regarding a couple that you presumably barely know?

Was she concerned for her safety?

Friend’s SIL may well have her reasons - why on earth would you have an opinion on this, let alone post about it online?

Yeah, it's pretty unforgivable, unless he's abusive or something. But she's probably not interested in his forgiveness. They don't have kids so she may never see him again. 🤷‍♀️

No. There were already serious issues. She went home to have a think and get her mind sorted and acted upon her decision is how I see it.

If he doesn't want kids for 5 years and she doesn't want any then she has done the sensible thing to let him go and find someone to have kids with. If it was the other way round a woman would be told to dump a guy to give herself the chance of a family with someone else so she has done him a favour.

Are you the friend’s SIL? Can’t work out why else you’d care or need an opinion.

Do you think friends SIL behaved in an unforgivable manner?

How can any of us possibly know that? You don't even know that!

This is uncomfortable. Stop being so nosey.

That's exciting. I wonder what happened after!
I guess if she wants to stay and has no kids, then would have been pointless to come back just to dump him

Unforgivable?

No-one can possibly know the dynamics of their relationship and what prompted her to leave. Just a bunch of muckraking "friends" passing comment

It's normally advised (on here) for a woman to make sure she is safe before leaving.

Doesn't matter, does it? She won't care if her DH forgives her once he is exDH and she definitely won't care what your mate thinks.

There’s issues in the marriage, she’s gone home to see family and presumably they’ve given her the support needed to end the marriage. Seems sensible. Not sure it’s as deep as you’re suggesting.

Whenever I read about issues in marriages when there’s no dc I cannot fathom why they’re carrying on. Marriage shouldn’t be hard work. You need to consider another person’s feelings but that’s just basic human kindness. Marriage should be mostly happy and fun, supportive in tricky life events and feel safe and secure.

Sensible move to make sure she was safe before telling him.

Good for her.

If a married couple is going to break up, then the kindest thing to do is to have an immediate exit plan. Announcing you want a divorce and then needing to cohabitate for months on end or even days is what is cruel.

Should she have told him before she left for the airport? Perhaps, but you don’t know the inner workings of their marriage. This may have been the smarter plan.

Who knows. Maybe she had her reasons, maybe she was just too much of a coward.

my ex fiancé moved out when I was at work, cleared his stuff out and left a note as he wasn’t grown up enough to tell me himself. People do shit things sometimes.

The H didn’t know they were having problems? One of those marriages where only one person is getting his needs met.

DH’s mate’s wife left in a very similar way. I knew he was having serious marital problems, because his wife looked miserable and everything in their lives was how he liked it. He didn’t know though. Came as a total shock. It shouldn't have.

And then there are abusive situations.

Don’t gossip OP, you don’t know anything.

I know someone who did this. Went home to Australia to visit family, never came back to her British husband. In that particular situation I never got the impression he was that arsed.

I'd assume she was either worried about how he would react or not good with confrontation. I wouldn't think less of her for it, it's really none of my business.

No one’s business but theirs. Are you just enjoying the gossip?

It’s got fuck all to do with you.

What has any of this gt to do with you??

Can't really see what difference it makes tbh as long as they can easily divorce.

Disappearing OP