social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

[AuntMarch]

I've just been sat on the bus and the tiktok videos I'm hearing almost have me seeking a diagnosis.
"ADHD TEST" Put a finger down if you've ever focused on something so much you've lost track of time/ sometimes think you talk too much or not enough.."
it's basically covered every possible behaviour and it's video after video.

it's no wonder every kid thinks they have something.

Self diagnosing isn't a diagnosis.

It doesn't matter if you do all of the fingers the tiktokker is holding up!

And don't get me started on 'we are all a little bit on the spectrum' nonsense. 🙄

ADHD really isn’t appealing, I suggest you inform yourself better.

My son is severely anxious and has huge sensory needs. He also has auditory processing disorder. He can't walk somewhere alone as the noise and sensory inputs are too much, and would struggle massively with a taxi without one of us there to mediate socially, because taxis involve an array of strangers as the driver.

He's brilliant in other ways, and a car is in effect a private room. He can control music, temperature, route and the expectations are glaringly obvious. He will be an excellent and safe driver and it will give him a level of independence nothing else possibly can.

He has a range of diagnoses and an EHCP, so his needs are really clear. But disability is complex. What they call 'spiky profiles' can mean real ability coexists with total lack of ability.

Having said that, he's not learning to drive yet because he has to pass the theory test first, and the exam centre for that would involve lots of strangers.....

Oh do give over with your ignorance. Late diagnosed ADHD and autism in my 50s here. You need to show how both have impacted your life throughout. It doesn’t all suddenly happen at menopause.🙄Many have a history of self harm, self medication, risky behaviours, EDs, disrupted education, impulsive behaviour….

It is not me you need to convince. I am well aware I don’t have ADHD, did you miss the part where I said my brother does?

There's nothing "lucky" about having a disabled child. Judging from your responses to others, your clearly going through a tough time. I am not and did not infer to gate keeping. Do not put words in to others mouths. Im sharing my experience on a public forum along with others.

Re driving. Maps on my phone has changed my be life. I barely drove anywhere before, it’s so much easier now.

When DS got diagnosed with ADHD, I mentioned that I see myself in a lot of his traits and the paediatrician asked if I was planning on getting myself diagnosed! I see the videos saying “you have ADHD if you… x, y, z” and think, yeah I do that. But then I also think well, yeah, doesn’t everyone else do that too?!

Those facebook groups can be a farce i.think sometimes people just don't understand the criteria
It's the same with DLa and the SMI criteria so many people think a diagnosis of autism alone is enough or being a couple of years behind at school

If they have been diagnosed by a person with the credentials to diagnose them then they have ADHD

You are gate keeping. I have 3 disabled children but don’t dismiss the diagnosis of others because of when they were diagnosed. Girls present differently to boys and are as worthy of diagnosis as boys.

I work in a secondary school and don't know any child that has decided they are ND due to SM, it just doesn't happen in the droves being suggested. No one wants to be autistic, they all know autistic kids (I have one) and the other kids are definitely not desperate to be labelled with ASD or ADHD. Many kids who potentially have ASD or ADHD really do not want to be assessed as teens or if they were assessed at a younger age don't want anyone to know (like DS). It is not the badge of honour that some people, for some reason, seem to want to think it is.

DS is working as a software engineer and juggling it with living away from home and doing a university degree, he gets on well with the people he works with. He was diagnosed at 10 by an NHS paediatrician who was amazed he'd got to that age without diagnoses - but there are people who would hear what he's doing and say there must be nothing wrong with him, it's autism lite or some other shite. He had no friends for the whole of secondary school, he will almost certainly never have a romantic relationship, he can't stand to be touched, he would never start a conversation with someone he didn't know, he finds people extremely difficult, his anxiety sometimes goes through the roof and/or he completely shuts down.

I hate these threads, they are always just a way to bash kids and adults with ASD and ADHD no matter how they are presented.

Oh we all heard loud and clear and how you think anybody else who doesn’t present like your brother should just dismissed. So ignorant.

It’s not just kids and self diagnosis its plenty of parents as well, many of whom are no doubt of here. You see the posts on here all the time asking “is this behaviour normal?” And similarly the guaranteed response to pretty much any post concerning kids behaviour is “Is your child ND?” With the internet people have lost the ability to be confident and comfortable in their own decisions and parenting.

Neurodiversity as a term predates social media as we know it today, it was used in a thesis by Judy Singer in the 1990's but may even predate her. There is always so much misinformation on these threads and a desperation to undermine or dismiss people with ASD or ADHD that i find it really depressing.

Yep this.

If ypu are ND you are so much more likely to be bullied. Young people don’t want a diagnosis and yes often push back. We were told by CAMHs that it’s common.

Please do highlight my gate keeping? By asking a friend what she hopes to gain from a diagnosis? Am I stopping her referral, no. Am I telling her not to attend, no.
It's two ADULTS having a discussion, without throwing accusations around.
Discussions, even where people disagree can be healthy and should always be respectful.

Completely agree, and the entitlement amongst those who have self diagnosed is unbearable.

I remember a recent viral video where a young girl was raging that her job refused to accommodate her "time blindness" by basically letting her turn up to work whenever she wanted. It's ridiculous and only serves to make reasonable adjustments more unobtainable for those who actually need them.

Yes it’s not kids wanting to be ND its either internet-enabled anxiety-wrought parents insistent the kids are ND or shit parents wanting a diagnosis to explain away difficult behaviour so they always have a fallback option to say “well he’s ND” to avoid having to parent. All of which detract attention and take away resources from those in genuine need.

You are mixing me up with another poster. I haven’t said anything about how my brother presents.

Dyslexia is a type of neurodiversity, why would you think it's not? Because you don't want it to be? Well the Dyslexia Foundation and British Dyslexia Association disagrees with you! Dyslexia is a neurodiversity just like dyspraxia ADHD and ASD. I have all 4 conditions running through my family because being ND often runs in families and all 4 conditions are part of that.

Thank you for beating me to it and calling this out for being the utter bullshit it is. It actually really scares me that there are teachers teaching our ND children who think this way. If by being resolute and determined not to let your child struggle through school silently until they become a school avoider, then I am very happy to be a pushy mother. But believe me, I'd far rather my dd hadn't had a complete mental health breakdown at the age of just 6. And no, I don't mean "just a bit of anxiety" I mean could not leave her bed, let alone the house. Because she'd been surrounded by teachers and a senco who kept telling us she was fine. Teachers like the poster you responded to, presumably.

I just saw a video earlier today saying that if you got straight As in your exams it points to autism and ADHD.

I'd say if you had predicted straight As and fucked up the exams neurodivergence is more likely.

When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis.

DLA/PIP/CDP/ADP are based on needs, not diagnosis. Not everyone with a diagnosis qualifies. A diagnosis does not mean someone qualifies for DLA/PIP/CDP/ADP, and when they do, not all are eligible for the high rate/enhanced mobility component. Luxury cars that are part of the motability scheme have an advanced payment attached to them that the person has to pay on top of the monthly cost.

As a teacher, we no longer use the official diagnosis in the classroom

The definition of SEN is set out in law and has not changed. It isn’t based on having a diagnosis. Support in schools is based on needs, not diagnosis. Same for reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act.

Not my experience with my dc, no. But they aren’t allowed access to social media. Every woman in her 40s I know thinks she has or has sought a private diagnosis of ADHD though and literally attributes everything hard in life to ADHD.

Really a lot of us are simply burnt out post-COVID, need a career change, need to get divorced, need to look after ourselves, stop people pleasing. There are lots of things we need in our 40s to be happy and healthy, but ADHD meds probably aren’t that for 95% of us. But the women I know are all popping pills left and right and being jerks and then being like “oh sorry! That’s just my ADHD!” 🙄