Dealing With Abusive Neighbours

[OldLadyP]

This is a long story but in short we have lived in our house for over 30 years. New neighbours moved in and almost immediately began complaining about things like being able to see our bins which are up the side of our house, a fence panel that blew down when we were away on holiday, people (nothing to do with us) parking too near their drive all of which we dealt with politely. When they erected a huge trampoline within 7 ft of our lounge windows their teenage children would stand on it and play music, looking into our property sometimes until 10 pm. Rather than make a fuss we decided to erect a screen. This sent the neighbours into some sort of meltdown. The began shouting abuse at my husband telling his our fence was dangerous and that they were going to take us to court, which they did. Then then put up several cameras looking straight into the front, back and side of our house. The wife began taunting my husband with things she had "overheard". When we told our solicitor he said take photos, which my husband did. The neighbours called the police - accusing him of spying on their teenage daughter in her bedroom (where they had placed a camera). Despite the police dismissing this (and other wild accusations they made against us) my husband was destroyed. He had a breakdown and is on medication and receiving therapy. I don't think he is ever going to recover. Now a year on they want to mediate, but on their terms. We have suggested a specialist in mediation because of my husband's frailty, but the cost is horrific. We are pensioners, what can we do?

Why do they want to mediate all of a sudden? What’s that all about?

Has the court case concluded about the screen? What was the outcome?

I'm so sorry for you and your poor husband. These people are disgusting, clearly spoiling for a fight and drama from the very get go. What did the solicitor say regarding the cameras - are there any Privacy laws or similar that they've broken?
Definitely consult again and dont immediately jump for the mediation route. I suspect they're trying to go that way as they know they have no leg to stand on, may even be facing criminal charges? Check with your solicitor and do what's best for you, can't believe these arseholes have caused you so much stress, raising their children to be the same no doubt.

Perhaps they’re thinking of moving - fingers crossed - and know they will have to declare disputes with neighbours. Or they’re in trouble elsewhere and want this smoothed over so it’s doesn’t look like they have a pattern of bad behaviour

Who told you they want to mediate, did they say why. Ignore the fuckers.

Hi Thank you everyone! They took us to court claiming the fence (which we haven't moved from our boundary in the 30 plus years was on their property and that we trespassed every time we worked on it. The court sent it to small claims who sent it back to the solicitors saying mediation which they refused to do initially. They've been trying to get money from us to pay for things like their garage which flooded but now that's all failed they want mediation!

Don't touch the fence again if it's theirs and ask for proof of ownership and boundaries via your solicitor.

Perhaps they want to move and you have to declare if neighbours are a problem (obviously they themselves are the problem).

There is no law that says you must ga a fence but if it's yours and it's rotten just take it down and put up a new one without going onto their property

The fence is ours and it’s been maintained and panels replaced when needed. There is no covenant so we could remove it but we have a dog .

What's the mediation for, who wrote to you about it.what does it say.

Will you have to pay 50/50 for mediation?
Dreadful situation OP. Feel for you with nutters like that living next door.
Have you used your house insurance policy as much as possible for the legal side /advice ? Just thinking of the financial cost to you here. Usually your house insurance policy will cover /partly cover this. There is a website called ‘garden law forum’ which is really good. You could post on there for advice too. Good luck xx

Op this is absolutely awful. So angry reading this. I bet they wouldn’t pick on young bodybuilders. Do you have any family, kids? It’s perhaps gone too far but having more ‘robust people coming and going and speaking to them might have stopped them. Just horrible to pick on pensioners!

thus may be stupid but how much are security people with bodycams?! Or how much is it to have a security company sit outside your house a few times a week. Might give them pause for thought. There is a local company here who do commercial sites but they go from site to site at night checking all is peaceful.

just trying to think of legal, peaceful ways of demonstrating to them that you aren’t alone.

so sorry OP.

Absolutely no way would I be mediating with these twats. Not a chance. You cannot mediate with abusive people and that applies the same here as it does to divorce. I also think they are worrying about declaring neighbour disputes.

Me neither at least until I'd seen what they want to mediate about and I wouldn't be paying anything.

Thank you for your thoughts everyone. Our solicitor has pushed us down the mediation route (at a cost to both parties of almost 2K) as he sees this simply as a boundary dispute and when we explain how the neighbours behave he just charges us for another hour and says if we refuse it makes us look bad. The police have been lovely but can't do anything as the neighbours aren't violent, but they've given us personal alarms and door alarms just in case!!! Our family are at their wits end as well. They've contacted the police and the solicitor but nobody can do anything it seems. We are just waiting to see what they do next. We will probably be forced to sell up to pay legal costs.

I would not pay a penny towards mediation. Since they're the ones who suggested it, they may want to move. Let them deal with the consequences of their behaviour (eg, selling for less because they have to declare an unresolved dispute).

They have to declare any dispute if they move regardless if it’s resolved or not.

Yes, which is why I made mention of an unresolved dispute.

It would be preferable if they could say, there WAS a dispute but it was resolved, to there was an is an ongoing dispute, no?

Not really, no. When you sell a property the form doesn’t ask you to declare if there are any resolved or unresolved disputes. It doesn’t differentiate between the two.

I hope they move. What upsets me is how badly husband has been affected. We are quiet people normally very private who never complain about neighbours or anyone tbh and now my husband can barely go out on his own. He potters around the garden but if he hears them comes indoors in case they say something. How can people make up such awful things about someone they don’t even know.

If it's just a boundary issue why can't your solicitor get all the relevant documents from land registry, title deeds, conveyancer etc. and just liaise with their solicitor, why does it need mediation. What is the actual dispute. When they harass you call the police, if it continues request a restraining order, why does the solicitor need to get involved in their harassment unless you're thinking of courts.

Unfortunately for us we’ve supplied all the relevant documents but they still want to sue us for moving the fence as they say their deeds show the boundary in a different place. There is one fence post that has shifted about 2 inches over the years and we agreed to move it last year but they have told their solicitor we refused to move it. Our deeds are older than theirs but they have accused us of forging them! Honestly if I told the whole story people would think I was making it up.

Tell them to go ahead and sue. Fuck them. Call
their bluff. They are enjoying the power and control, just let them get on with it. They are not going to get anywhere with this. I’d not even bother with retaining a solicitor. Tell them to crack on. The legal bills will be theirs. They are clearly psychopaths, I’d literally ignore them.

Ditch your solicitor. If they want mediation they can pay for it. You have an absolutely reasonable argument that they are abusive and have caused significant harm to your husband, therefore mediation is not suitable.

As I said, call their bluff. The bloody idiots.