To be really struggling? 😣

[BishopBriggs]

Posting in AIBU for more traffic I guess …
Recently turned 42, and all of a sudden I’ve started to really struggle with ageing and wondering whether I am alone in this or if it’s actually common?
I was generally a quite attractive, but plain/normal-looking woman, but always got told I looked younger than my age, until around 38ish. I take great care of my skin and have a great skincare routine and am lucky to have been blessed with good skin-genes tbh, but I now definitely have visible wrinkles (around eyes), under-eye bags & the worst of all, my hair is thinning something terrible 😞 I am getting more grey hairs too.
I’ve been in a 2-year relationship now with the man of my dreams, first ever relationship really that I’ve been truly happy in and have found myself a decent man, but my worries about my ageing are making me crazy with subsequent worries that he will no doubt look for a ‘younger model’ 😫
I’m wondering if there are any good books, podcasts, ‘influencers’ etc that help with women coming to terms with their ageing concerns that any of you lovely people could recommend?

Surely I can’t be alone in this ?

HRT. Stopped hair thinning and skin improved.

Hey, I'm 51. And I'd say I felt very similarly to you until I turned 50/51 - averagely attractive, not worried about anything, certainly didn't feel that I was ageing or that I was perceived any differently tbh.

But then, I noticed my hair definitely shedding and skin dryness etc but, after having two changes at the most senior levels in my workplace from women in their 50s/60s to men in their 30s/40s and seeing how recent redundancies have played out and allegiances they are building in the workplace, I definitely feel I've entered that nebulous and somewhat disregarded group of 'women in their fifties'. Can't do much about that last one though!

I don't use influencers

But I have noticed some definite positive changes since taking collagen powder (for my skin) and biotin (for hair and nails). And would be happy to share the brand if you're interested?

@GreyCarpetyes please, if you could that would be great thank you 🙏

I use Nutrition Geeks. They have good reviews generally, introductory offers and bundles. Quite a few of my friends use them too.

Oh and I generally have the collagen in tea or coffee. I prefer it in coffee because there is a very slight, barely detectable, change in texture in tea (could even just be my imagination!) but I can't taste it in either.

OP would you prefer to come to terms with it (like your OP mentioned) or ways to tackle some of these issues?

@GreyCarpetAhh, I’m a new fan of Nutrition Geeks, been using their Magnesium for some time now. Also been drinking collagen every day for years, I must admit it has helped but not so much with the hair 😔

@BrentfordForeverI think a bit of both tbh x

@GreyCarpetdo you also use NGeeks for their collagen or just their Biotin?

Both. Collagen Glow Up and Biotin Growth+.

I'm lucky in that I don't really have lines but it's definitely improved my skin texture - it was starting to feel quite dry.

It's also helped with joint pain and I didn't take it for that or even think about it. But my knees and ankles were starting to be quite painful/weak especially walking up and down stairs first thing iin the morning when I couldnt do ut without leaning quite heavily on the bannister. I can now run up and down them again without any pain at all! Even first thing. So it's definitely doing something.

Obviously, I'm not endorsing them in any way or offering guarantees, just sharing what I've experienced personally.

Oh yes, I use the magnesium too!

I started using the collagen first and didn't find it did much for my hair but the biotin has definitely reduced the hair shedding and my nails are stronger too.

How old is your partner OP?

Is he worrying about his wrinkles?

Im saying this to help x Not to be sarcy. While you are doing x y z to feel better about yourself, bare in mind how much your partner is or is not hung up about looks. HIS included!

Tbh I think you’re really lucky you’ve managed to get to 42 before feeling like this. What you’ve described is what I’m up against at 35 🤦‍♀️
You probably look a lot better than you think you do.

I can’t help with “coming to terms” I’m afraid as I’m so vain !

for addressing certain concerns:

• marine and bovine collagen (Zooki for marine and Vital proteins for bovine have been amazing for me)
• face yoga
• lots of protein and as less carbs as possible (I do this in weekdays)
• face yoga

im 50ish I don’t look like it - for now at least xxx

I’m also a huge fan of Nutrition Geeks. I use their collagen, magnesium, biotin, vitamin D and iron supplements. My skin has definitely improved in how it feels, hair is in brilliant condition and my nails are growing long and no longer breaking. I was hoping for miracles with my joints, but I fear they are just behind help!

I'd agree with low carb.

I'm curious about face yoga and fancied trying it. Do you have any links to anything you'd recommend? And how long did it take for you to notice an improvement.

I don't have too many lines but would like to get ahead of sagging! And I do have a bit of eye puffiness.

I use two little devices ten mins a day that make facial exercises super easy to do (links below) plus face yoga below

jawline perfect and cheekbones are enhanced (never had this before )

lots on YouTube for face yoga but I just do these

my face started changing within a week x

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Exerciser-Double-Chin-Reducer-Jawfit/dp/B00HIDXBRG/ref=asc_df_B00HIDXBRG?mcid=7e625a91efce3eb69e2b6fa84d247e95&amp%3Bth=1&amp%3Bpsc=1&amp%3Bhvocijid=1882770495929730929-B00HIDXBRG-&amp%3Bhvexpln=74&amp%3Btag=googshopuk-21&amp%3BlinkCode=df0&amp%3Bhvadid=696285193871&amp%3Bhvnetw=g&amp%3Bhvrand=1882770495929730929&amp%3Bhvdev=m&amp%3Bhvlocphy=9222618&amp%3Bhvtargid=pla-2281435176618&amp%3Bgad_source=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
and
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Facial-Flex-FACIAL-FLEX®-Facial-Toning-Exerciser/dp/B07Y5FJLZ8/ref=asc_df_B07Y5FJLZ8?mcid=a971dcef416938f2a6f1f165ad39e09e&amp%3Bhvocijid=10597425026641146920-B07Y5FJLZ8-&amp%3Bhvexpln=74&amp%3Btag=googshopuk-21&amp%3BlinkCode=df0&amp%3Bhvadid=696285193871&amp%3Bhvnetw=g&amp%3Bhvrand=10597425026641146920&amp%3Bhvdev=m&amp%3Bhvlocphy=9222618&amp%3Bhvtargid=pla-2281435176938&amp%3Bpsc=1&amp%3Bgad_source=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Thanks!

Wells skin food face cream.
Absolute collegen everyday
up your vit c
take Biotin or pregnancy vitamins which have that in it

The gym works wonders for self esteem.

It boosts your mind and really makes you feel like you're a superpower.

Everything looks related becomes second priority because you'll FEEL amazing and you'll FEEL like you look great.

Well, that was my experience, anyway!

Re collagen supplements - has there been any research whether they could in fact weaken/undermine your body’s own collagen production? That’s my slight concern about them - once you start taking collagen you have to be on it for life?

@FluffyWabbit100000% agree with you here, I’m a serial lifter and feel like Superwoman whenever I deadlift or leg press 170!

The thing i try to keep in mind is that hair thinning/skin changes are really really common as we age. And there isn't really a magic cure, so most people are just living with it. However, i almost never look at older women and think their hair looks thin or their skin looks crap.

What i'm badly articulating is that these changes might feel and look seismic to you (as mine do to me!), but no-one else will even notice - they are too busy worrying about the spot on their forehead/their double chin or whatever.

Does that mean I'm immune to trying to slow aging down? Not at all! But I try to remember no-one is nearly as critical of my looks as I am.

I don't know, tbh, but collagen production starts to decrease anyway after about 35 so it's something our bodies stop/reduce production of as we age anyway.