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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DP should not be buying a new BMW 1-series on finance while I have a shitty 10 year old Saxo that falls to bits if you look at it?

60 replies

giraffeski · 28/05/2008 22:22

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MrsJohnCusack · 29/05/2008 00:13

as wendy said, buying a brand new car is a total waste of money - the minute you drive it off the forecourt you've lost quite a big percentage of the price

nearly new is the way to go. He need a new car, but not that one probably.

i always think of a BMW as a drug dealer's car for some unfathomable reason (even though my parents have one and they only deal in warfarin and other old age related medications )

Original poster
giraffeski · 29/05/2008 08:33

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OP posts:
Original poster
giraffeski · 29/05/2008 08:33

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OP posts:
Original poster
giraffeski · 29/05/2008 08:35

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OP posts:
NomDePlume · 29/05/2008 08:38

He shouldn't be buying a 1 series, full stop. They are shit. £30k for a 1 series. What a waste.

At the end of the day, it is his money, but if you live together and share bills etc then of course you have a right to say how household expenditure is managed.

binkleandflip · 29/05/2008 08:46

if you share bills then you have a say, if you dont then I personally believe its up to him to blow his money on what he wants (as much as it would pee me off too) - dh changes cars generally every year or every other year for new ones - it winds me up - envy, probably if I'm honest - but he doesnt get them on finance so its not my business really because it present no threat to our finances IYSWIM.

By the way he does know that BM 1 series are tiny inside doesnt he?

Gobbledigook · 29/05/2008 08:48

I think it's a bit mean. If you both need a new car then it would be fairer to work out what you can spend and split it between you.

Gobbledigook · 29/05/2008 08:52

I'm with you giraffski - you're a partnership, a family so all the money that goes into that should be 'shared' and managed by both of you. That's how it works in our house anyway. I can never understand these couples who keep their own money so that in the same family one is skint and the other can buy what they like (know people like this in RL - I wouldn't stand for it!).

Also agree about teh finance thing. Dh would love a new car (and I'd love him to have one) and there are 101 things we want to do to the house but I'm not at all comfortable with taking on loans in the current climate. Now is a time to remain debt free if you can.

Chocolateteapot · 29/05/2008 08:54

I think he is being unreasonable. A friend's DH went out and bought a car on finance recently , not a new one or particulary expensive one in the scheme of things. But they couldn't really afford it and it has broken down twice in the few weeks they have had it. I get the impression things are rather strained to say the least. Different if money is no object but with everything going up I would be very careful about over extending yourselves at the moment with everything going up so much.

mumoftwo37 · 29/05/2008 08:58

I think your DP is being totally unreasonable. Why can't you just buy two cheaper cars then you will both be better off. Sounds to me like you have run your Saxo into the ground. Perhaps you ought to remind him of pending recession - what will happen if you can't keeep up the repayments? You will end up with a car worth much less than the amount left on finance.
We have a brand new car on Motoability but I would never have bought it. My Dad sells secondhand cars and I have seen how quickly they become less than half the value they are new. I think you should be assertive and tell hime how unfair he is being.

BumperliciousNeedsToSleep · 29/05/2008 08:58

YANBU even if couples don't have joint finances you are a family and spending this amount of money is ultimately going to affect the family. If he can afford 30k on a car why not put it towards a bigger house which will benefit you all.

This separate finance thing is ok when you are justifying spending £100 on a pair or shoes, or a new computer or something but 30k? I really think that is a purchase you agree on together. He may be the breadwinner but your role is equally valuable and you should have an opinion on this. Ridiculous IMO.

sarah293 · 29/05/2008 09:02

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findtheriver · 29/05/2008 09:06

I think he's nuts spending that much on a car,and buying one on finance is particularly daft.But I also agree in principle with quattro, that if that's his big priority, it's up to him really.
When you qualify, you can buy yourself a snazzy car (or handbags, or shoes, or whatever floats your boat)

MrsTittleMouse · 29/05/2008 09:21

Sorry, but I just don't get couples who have separate finances when they have such differences in income. Presumably he was OK when you signed up to the course and you didn't do it behind his back and impoverished your family? If it was a joint decision that you should become a student then he should be fine with you both having (a smaller amount of) money to each have a car that is reliable.
Especially as when you had your windfall, it went into the joing pot and paid off your overdraft.

sarah293 · 29/05/2008 09:24

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Oliveoil · 29/05/2008 09:26

big purchases are joint decisions in this house

no way on this earth would dh get a car on finance if I said no, and vice versa

he works f/t, I work p/t, money is joint

we can buy what we want on small purchases so if either of us are out shopping then we don't need to ask 'permission' from the other to spend

but a car? no way

YANBU

and who wants to get into debt in this climate

tell his he is being a nob!

MrsTittleMouse · 29/05/2008 09:27

sorry, joint pot of course.

riven is right too, it's not just the "unfairness" of it, it's also the fact that most people are belt-tightening with the increases in council tax/fuel bills/mortgage rates/food prices etc. etc. This is a very good time to have a buffer behind you, not to add another expense to every month.

Nighbynight · 29/05/2008 09:40

YANBU. He wants a swanky car while his wife has an old, unreliable one?

He should be realistic and use the proposed budget for 2, less posh but more equal cars. there are loads of small, fuel economic cars out there, but oh dear, they dont have quite the same image. honestly, men and cars! they really annoy me, why do they have to be so pathetic about cars?

QuintessentialShadows · 29/05/2008 09:48

Well, I wouldnt say anything, but what man with self respect and care for others could possibly drive away in a spanky new car letting his partner trottle around in an old banger that she gets wet from driving in?

He sounds like a twit and not a good catch by any means.

QuintessentialShadows · 29/05/2008 09:49

Actually, if he does this, he will seriously lose face the moment people look at you two and compare cars. They will think: selfish bastard. He is not doing himself a favour in that respect.

sarah293 · 29/05/2008 09:57

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Nighbynight · 29/05/2008 09:58

in my experience, only men who are really confident about their, ahem, assets and sexual attraction are happy to drive small cars....

Piffle · 29/05/2008 10:01

buying anything on finance that is not interest free atm is insane.
the 1 series does have good fuel economy but the dntry level bmw 1 is very basic. Dp was looking at one for company car as he commutes 2 hrs each way daily. However he got a very highly specced new mondeo titanium x with bells whistles and gadgets for less than the bmw1 with no aircon!!!!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/05/2008 10:29

giraffeski

Your partner is taking the p frankly. Buying a car from them on finance terms will cost him dearly. Also BMW servicing ain't cheap either speaking from experience.

What sort of blooming 1 series BMW is he thinking of buying?. For 30k (and that particular car is not worth anywhere near that money particularly when it comes to changing it in for something else) he is looking at a top end 1 series; not the basic model at all which starts at around 16K. He'd pay a few thousand pounds less getting a better specced 6 month old 3 series for goodness sake!!!.

Also boot space in the 1 series is miniscule.

BouncingTurtle · 29/05/2008 10:44

YANBU.

Though have to at your dp buying a BMW rollerskate. For the same amount of money he could buy a much better and bigger car from Ford/Vauxhall/VW etc.

You can buy a decent spec Vectra for £15,000!