Husband not helping

[Aalice]

My sister has purchased a new house which needed a complete renovation. She received some astronomical quotes for her kitchen, which was the most pressing aspect, so I asked my husband to help. He managed to convince a joiner we knew to do the work but pointed out he had other jobs so wouldnt be able to dedicate himself to just my sister's kitchen. He was also much cheaper as my husband has been along time client of his. The kitchen is finished but it's taken 6-7 weeks rather than the original 2-3 weeks.

The rest of the house still needs to be refurbished however he is now refusing to help because my sister became rather vocal about how long the kitchen took to complete.

My husband had his builder provide a very reasonable quote but the builder is no longer willig to carry out the work for the agreed price.

Becase the renovations are relatively small the usual builders aren't interested and hiring separate tradesmen is going to be too expensive.

I have repeatedly asked him to help but it's escalated into shouting from his side.

He did help and your sister was ungrateful and fucked it up

I'd be telling to sort it out herself too

He has helped (even though it was a lot to ask) and your sister complained instead of being grateful he stepped in. He is reasonable to stop helping after that treatment.

Sounds like she's being ungrateful for his help, if she wants it done cheaper than it actually costs (who wants to work for less??) and in the same time. If he's spending time and using his connections to help her and she is complaining about it, it makes sense that he doesn't want to help anymore.

Your husband helped. Your sister is unreasonable. She also budgeted poorly buying a house that needs so much work with no money to do the actual work.

You and your sister are being unreasonable

Was there an agreement in place that he would help with the renovations - and that's why she purchased the house? On the face of it you and your sister sound very unreasonable.

He did help and your sister was ungrateful, a reasonable consequence of that is more help is not given. It’s your sister who is to blame, not your husband.

Why should he bother? If she wasn't so ungrateful it would be a nice thing to do, but it's really not his problem.

Why is your DH being expected to help? Why was it just assumed that he would help?

If I were him I would be pissed off too.

I wouldn’t help someone who was rude and ungrateful, why would you?
If you want things done quickly you pay full price.
if you want things done cheaply you accept it will be fitted around full paid work.

I’m with the others - Why should he help if it’s not appreciated?

What was your sister’s plan for renovating before you started asking your DH to call in favours? Can she not just go back to that?

It's not unusual for building work to go over and often for a lot longer than a few weeks. If your sister doesn't know this a fixer up was the wrong choice. She should be grateful and learn to keep her mouth shut. She is suffering the consequences of her own actions and your dh is right to have enough self respect not to be bothered with her.
I am dealing with builders at the moment, not kindly relatives but l have to be diplomatic to keep them in my corner. She needs to learn this!!

It’s escalated to shouting as your not listening
he’s perfectly reasonable to say no

the problem is of your sisters own making

Your sister shouldn't have purchased a complete reno unless she had the funds or the skills to do it herself. I think your DH has been more than helpful already.

Why is it your husband's job to sort your sister's house out? Surely that's her job?

he is now refusing to help because my sister became rather vocal about how long the kitchen took to complete I think you should stop pressuring your DH, your sister has mucked this up.

Your sister has been rude and so are you. Your dh put himself out already and your sister has embarrassed him. I’d tell your sister to do one.

If I was DH I wouldn't be helping in getting tradespeople for her due to her behaviour and potentially souring business relationships.

Your sister shouldn't have been so rude and ungrateful, I'm also team dh on this one

Sorry but you are being massively rude and entitled.

Your DH did help and his colleague made it clear it was being done on the side around other work. Your sister has been rude and ungrateful so she has done this to herself.

If I were you I would apologise to your dh and support him not helping your sister anyfirther unless she has a dramatic shift in attitude.

You and your sister both sound incredibly entitled.

Why should your DH work on her house when he’s just going to get moaned at?

PPs are spot on
Dh did help, sis behaved unreasonably, and now you’re being unreasonable too. Sis needs to be told to sort out her own stuff. Her badmouthing the contractors reflects on your DH and puts his relationships / future work at risk.

Another one jumping on the thread to say that you DH HAS helped her.

Or are you taking about your sister wanting yet more help? Because the problem with that is that the more you do for people, the less they appreciate you.

Wtf is going on here at the moment??

Why is any of this your husband's responsibility?

Your sister is an adult and has been able to purchase a house. Your husband did a nice thing is sorting a joiner and all your sister could do was bitch and moan

Tell her to crack on with her renovation and leave your poor husband out of it.