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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband not helping

31 replies

Aalice · 08/08/2025 03:23

My sister has purchased a new house which needed a complete renovation. She received some astronomical quotes for her kitchen, which was the most pressing aspect, so I asked my husband to help. He managed to convince a joiner we knew to do the work but pointed out he had other jobs so wouldnt be able to dedicate himself to just my sister's kitchen. He was also much cheaper as my husband has been along time client of his. The kitchen is finished but it's taken 6-7 weeks rather than the original 2-3 weeks.

The rest of the house still needs to be refurbished however he is now refusing to help because my sister became rather vocal about how long the kitchen took to complete.

My husband had his builder provide a very reasonable quote but the builder is no longer willig to carry out the work for the agreed price.

Becase the renovations are relatively small the usual builders aren't interested and hiring separate tradesmen is going to be too expensive.

I have repeatedly asked him to help but it's escalated into shouting from his side.

OP posts:
CunningPlanMaster · 08/08/2025 08:14

As others have said, he DID help. And it sounds like he put professional relationships on the line for your sister who seemed ungrateful.

its perfectly reasonable of him to now step back and your sister to now start arranging her own renovations. Is there any reason she can’t do this herself?

HoskinsChoice · 08/08/2025 08:24

What is your sister doing to refurb her own house?

What are you doing to help her?

Why are you expecting your husband to help? If she needs help, why can't you do it?

Keroppi · 08/08/2025 08:35

Well time for your sister to roll up her sleeves and turn to YouTube instead of trying to manipulate your husband.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 08/08/2025 08:42

You sisters choice to buy a house that needs work done is nothing at all to do with your husband.
It's her responsibility alone to find workers.
Just don't think about it.

The thread title should be 'no one wants to work for my whiny ungrateful sister. Oh well.'

IllBeHomeForChristmas · 08/08/2025 08:46

araiwa · 08/08/2025 03:26

He did help and your sister was ungrateful and fucked it up

I'd be telling to sort it out herself too

As usual the first post nails it 👏

BMW6 · 08/08/2025 08:49

Why is it anything to do with DH????

Why don't YOU do some of the work instead of volunteering HIS time?

Why isn't your sister responsible for her own home refurbishment and paying properly for tradesmen instead of demanding freebies?

YABVVU and an utter twat to boot.

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