It’s a Christmas one. Sorry guys.

[Cravey]

Every year we host Christmas. We live quite far from everyone so it’s a stay for almost everyone, all fine, we have the room. This year a nephew has a new girlfriend, very new, however he seems to think the open invite will include her, I’ve not met her yet and so said to dh ( it’s his sisters son ) that I won’t be asking her to stay as like I said we don’t know her. Dh has passed this onto his sister who is now wanting us all to meet up. Fair enough we will see them all at a family wedding and can meet the girl then. However this morning his sister proceeded to tell me oh yes she lovely and her children are so lovely too. I’m like wtf, 3 kids that she seems to think will simply slot in over Xmas and be no trouble. I’ve made it very clear there’s no room for an extra 3. She’s just texted dh asking if we will put towards an Airbnb for them. I’ve told him absolutely not, this is not our responsibility and nephew is 27 with a bloody job. Sister in law is now having a strop and bleating to all about how she can’t come without her son. I’ve said fine don’t come, dh ( idiot ) is now feeling guilty. Please tell me I’m not wrong on this one.

Sorry but I think this is stretching too far. This is when people need to start making their own traditions, the line has to be drawn somewhere.

TBH if I was the girlfriend the last thing I would want is to go to my partners aunties house and piggy back on their Christmas. I bet she’ll be relieved if she can’t come 🤣

Personally I wouldn’t have had an issue with the girlfriend coming, but the addition of 3 children does change things quite a bit.

SIL needs to host her own Christmas.

Time to stop hosting Christmas. If you have the money and space to host all these cheeky fuckers, cancel the lot and get yourself off to Canada or Australia.

I was picturing a teenage couple and thought you were being a bit harsh but it's your house, then 3 kids? 27 years old? No it's too much, and asking you to pay towards the Airbnb is ridiculous.

Do you pay for all the food and drink you serve at Christmas? I'm guessing for that many people over a couple days it's a huge expense and they're being very entitled to assume they can add 4 people you don't know and make you pay.

Why on earth would you pay towards an Air B&B for someone you’ve not met and not invited?!!

DH to his sister: “The numbers are starting to get too big for us to host all extended family, if that means nephew can’t make it and would like to spend Christmas with his new gf we completely understand. Let us know either way if he can make it or not.”

Unfortunately when branches of the family starts making their own new branches, you need to start changing traditions. You host the immediate family but you can’t host when they have plus ones. Just tell them that and suggest that it’s time to have separate dinners.

I host anyone that wants to come.
But when we run out of beds (all too old to sleep on the floor) I dont pay for accomodation - they have to sort that out for themselves.

Good grief no you are not being unreasonable! And to be honest I'm sure her three children wouldn't want to come either!

It’s absolutely fair to draw line as the three kids changes the dynamic especially since they’re not really any of your relations bar the girlfriend none of you really know, therefore can’t really step in if it’s chaos like you would your own nieces/ nephews etc. Maybe it’s time SIL hosted her own growing family. The suggestion of you paying for their accommodation when you’re already hosting is absurd btw!

You are being absolutely reasonable to stand your ground.

Agree with this. Put a stop to it now or you're going to be hosting Christmas for the next 20 years. Everyone is taking the P. Time to step back. Book a Christmas holiday?

Don’t worry I’ve made it very clear to my idiot husband that no we are not paying. I have no issue with hosting, everyone has to contribute and also everyone gets tasks to do. It’s the addition of the kids that really tipped it. There is 3 children already and as lovely as they are I’m very glad when they go off to bed in the garden room with mum and dad 😅. He’s on the phone to his sister as we speak and I’m just waiting for her to cry ( that’s her go to if things don’t go her way ) I’ve just made it very clear to him that she can cry all bloody day it’s not happening. I honestly think he just wants a quiet life, but I’m not backing down.

Send her a message:

"Hahaha! 😂 That's soooo funny! Yeah I'm gonna have all these extra people I don't even know LOLOLOLOL!!! Dream on sisterrrrr! Not a chance. Jog on. Host them at yours."

YEP as has been said, stop doing the hosting. You're being used/made a mug of.

I have no issue with it, it’s good fun and only a few days. Everyone chips in with cash and everyone has a job so to speak. We go away at new year and after doing this for 10 plus years it’s a doddle. I cannot believe that she really thought we would help with an air bnb, I’ve just told dh they can stay where they like, I’m not cooking bloody dinner for them.

27yos with 3 kids, I thought you were going to say teens!

Is SIL joking?? You contribute to their Airbnb,why???!! Taking the piss asking you to host 4 more people anyway. Why can’t she host them at hers if so bothered.

Aaah cheeky fucker Christmas has started super early this year! Pay for their Airbnb? Tell you who the guest list consists of 🤣🤣🤣? Are they telling you the menu, pairing wine and serving times as well?! Big NO to all of this

You're not unreasonable, and SIL is an out of touch entitled batshit.

Make sure DH knows just how unquiet life can get if he doesn't have your six on this one.

Oh that's cheeky. Plus so many variables with 3 kids. Won't their dad and his side of their family want to see them? Where do they normally live that an Air B n B would be required? Time the sister does hosting for her lot.

Also should add when you've hosted for a long time,people will make assumptions and keep pushing the boundaries. Stop it now.

It never ceased to amaze me how bloody cheeky & entitled family, friends or neighbours can be. They ask (demand) ridiculous things, like you being asked to pay towards an Airbnb. What a flipping nerve. No-one 'normal' would ever think that is an acceptable request. They were pushing it at expecting you to host new gf let alone her 3 kids. The accepted Christmas for her would be with her parents, not her new boyfriend's aunt & uncle. You obviously host a great Christmas, well done you!

I don't think it's fair that you host each year. Could you let them know that this year you want to do your own thing? (Even if it's a lie, not like they can just pop in) Also the son may not even be with the gf by then. It's still a good while off! Everyone is jumping the gun.

YANBU. Too many people; she’s not his wife, he’s not the stepdad and you haven’t met her.

No you won’t be paying for their AirBnB. Maybe this is the year to change things a bit.

What a result. Sister in law is staying home this year. I’ve put idiot husband straight and told him she says she’s not coming, so no matter what, she is not coming. I’ve spoken to the nephew who also told me his mum is batshit, he had already told her he would be spending it with the new girl if they are still together. I’m totally convinced that’s pushed his mum over her very thin ledge and that’s where the request came from. So not only is she a cheeky cow, she’s also trying to force her son’s hand. One less for dinner this year. My own sister will be thrilled, she can’t stand sil 😅