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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s a Christmas one. Sorry guys.

36 replies

Cravey · 07/08/2025 13:27

Every year we host Christmas. We live quite far from everyone so it’s a stay for almost everyone, all fine, we have the room. This year a nephew has a new girlfriend, very new, however he seems to think the open invite will include her, I’ve not met her yet and so said to dh ( it’s his sisters son ) that I won’t be asking her to stay as like I said we don’t know her. Dh has passed this onto his sister who is now wanting us all to meet up. Fair enough we will see them all at a family wedding and can meet the girl then. However this morning his sister proceeded to tell me oh yes she lovely and her children are so lovely too. I’m like wtf, 3 kids that she seems to think will simply slot in over Xmas and be no trouble. I’ve made it very clear there’s no room for an extra 3. She’s just texted dh asking if we will put towards an Airbnb for them. I’ve told him absolutely not, this is not our responsibility and nephew is 27 with a bloody job. Sister in law is now having a strop and bleating to all about how she can’t come without her son. I’ve said fine don’t come, dh ( idiot ) is now feeling guilty. Please tell me I’m not wrong on this one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cravey · 07/08/2025 14:47

pushthebuttonnn · 07/08/2025 14:40

I don't think it's fair that you host each year. Could you let them know that this year you want to do your own thing? (Even if it's a lie, not like they can just pop in) Also the son may not even be with the gf by then. It's still a good while off! Everyone is jumping the gun.

Honestly we love it. Everyone helps and chips in, also no way would I let other people down simply because my sister in law is a cf. She says she’s not coming and I’ve made it very clear, she says she’s not so no matter what she will not be here.

OP posts:
ellie09 · 07/08/2025 14:48

Um, no.

I always spent Christmas at my mums house, but this time with DP moving in etc and an ASD DS, I have told my parents and his parents that for the foreseeable, we will be having our own Christmas Day.

I thought this was a standard thing to do once you are attached to someone or have kids. Or at least if you are invited, you find a way home or sort your own accomodation.

DPs mum invited me, DP and my DS down for Christmas and I declined. I personally wouldnt feel comfortable in someone else's house and DS would be disregulated also. My mum didn't care and is looking forward to seeing us for a couple of hours on Christmas morning instead.

Notonthestairs · 07/08/2025 14:55

Cravey · 07/08/2025 14:45

What a result. Sister in law is staying home this year. I’ve put idiot husband straight and told him she says she’s not coming, so no matter what, she is not coming. I’ve spoken to the nephew who also told me his mum is batshit, he had already told her he would be spending it with the new girl if they are still together. I’m totally convinced that’s pushed his mum over her very thin ledge and that’s where the request came from. So not only is she a cheeky cow, she’s also trying to force her son’s hand. One less for dinner this year. My own sister will be thrilled, she can’t stand sil 😅

That explains a lot!

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 07/08/2025 14:58

Anxioustealady · 07/08/2025 13:35

I was picturing a teenage couple and thought you were being a bit harsh but it's your house, then 3 kids? 27 years old? No it's too much, and asking you to pay towards the Airbnb is ridiculous.

Do you pay for all the food and drink you serve at Christmas? I'm guessing for that many people over a couple days it's a huge expense and they're being very entitled to assume they can add 4 people you don't know and make you pay.

This. With big Christmas baubles on.

Littlejellyuk · 07/08/2025 15:12

Cravey · 07/08/2025 14:45

What a result. Sister in law is staying home this year. I’ve put idiot husband straight and told him she says she’s not coming, so no matter what, she is not coming. I’ve spoken to the nephew who also told me his mum is batshit, he had already told her he would be spending it with the new girl if they are still together. I’m totally convinced that’s pushed his mum over her very thin ledge and that’s where the request came from. So not only is she a cheeky cow, she’s also trying to force her son’s hand. One less for dinner this year. My own sister will be thrilled, she can’t stand sil 😅

Where os the laughing emoji when you need it? Oh yes that's right...
😆 🤣 😂
I love this thread.

We do our own thing at Xmas, and it works for us, especially after both me and hubby lost our mums. Its just myself, hubby and our DS for Xmas dinner now, and we go out every year, so it's nice.

You do what works best for you. Your SIL sounds like a hard face cow 🐮
She may try and worm her invite back in November (if she has nowhere else to go) 😬

PennyAnnLane · 07/08/2025 15:57

Surely the girlfriend and three children will not want to be in someone else’s family Christmas, don’t they have their own family or want to be at home?

MaryGreenhill · 07/08/2025 16:10

Those poor children

swampwitch0 · 07/08/2025 16:15

Omg.
YANBU!!!!

Original poster
Cravey · 07/08/2025 16:18

Littlejellyuk · 07/08/2025 15:12

Where os the laughing emoji when you need it? Oh yes that's right...
😆 🤣 😂
I love this thread.

We do our own thing at Xmas, and it works for us, especially after both me and hubby lost our mums. Its just myself, hubby and our DS for Xmas dinner now, and we go out every year, so it's nice.

You do what works best for you. Your SIL sounds like a hard face cow 🐮
She may try and worm her invite back in November (if she has nowhere else to go) 😬

Show quote history

No matter what she’s not coming. I’ve a lovely pal and hubby who I’ve just invited and they’ve said yes please. So her bed has just been booked. Shame that. I’ve laid the law down with dh too. To be honest he mostly puts up with her so he’s not too fussed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cravey · 07/08/2025 16:19

PennyAnnLane · 07/08/2025 15:57

Surely the girlfriend and three children will not want to be in someone else’s family Christmas, don’t they have their own family or want to be at home?

Nephew told me his mum didn’t even ask him, just went ahead and put her order in here ffs. He’s adamant if he’s still with the girl he will be spending it with her. Either way the beds have just been booked for others so no room at my inn this year.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cravey · 07/08/2025 16:34

MaryGreenhill · 07/08/2025 16:10

Those poor children

I said the same to my sister. Poor kids rocking up to a house full of strangers. However I honestly think sister in law has done all of this off her own back. Nephew had already told her he would be spending Xmas with his girlfriend, typical sil to be fair.

OP posts:
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