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Original poster

Surprise girlfriend

64 replies

denpark · 06/08/2025 22:07

I had a fling with a guy a few months ago. It was a brief friendship that resulted in a one night thing and I haven’t seen him since.

This week I had a call from a woman who told me that she was his girlfriend. She knew the date we’d been together, she knew my name and she was yelling down the phone at me that I was a bitch and that I’d ruined her life.

I had no idea that he had a girlfriend. There were no photos on show around the house. I feel awful but from my perspective, I met a single guy…

What do I do now? I have her number. Do I contact her? Do I leave it? I’m so upset that someone has been hurt when I had zero clue that she existed.

OP posts:
Dontbeme · 07/08/2025 17:30

I did some digging and it turns out that he got divorced because, guess what- he cheated. With the girlfriend that phoned me.

So she was the other woman and is now, gasp, shocked that he cheated.

You have done nothing wrong OP, message her only if it will make you feel better but you don't owe them anything and in fact should be the one that's angry for being lied to and dragged into their nonsense.

winter8090 · 07/08/2025 17:33

I would message back explaining that you didn’t know he wasn’t single. I don’t think you’ve got anything to apologise for.

Then block her.

rwalker · 07/08/2025 17:39

denpark · 07/08/2025 13:44

She has contacted me today more calmly, wanting to talk. What do I do? She doesn’t deserve to be with a cheat but I don’t want to be slap bang in the middle of all of this.

just Tell her you had no idea he had a GF and no wish to get involved in her drama

tbh there an element of karma for her in all this

PInkyStarfish · 07/08/2025 18:34

Just block her and him.

UninterestedBeing12 · 07/08/2025 20:01

PInkyStarfish · 07/08/2025 18:34

Just block her and him.

Exactly. I can't believe the reply is telling her to message xyz

This is not her fight.She's been dragged into strangers drama.

Block, delete and walk away do not engage in their drama

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 07/08/2025 20:22

UninterestedBeing12 · 07/08/2025 20:01

Exactly. I can't believe the reply is telling her to message xyz

This is not her fight.She's been dragged into strangers drama.

Block, delete and walk away do not engage in their drama

Show quote history

But they’re not complete strangers. OP said she’d be friends with the guy for a few months before, and there is concern over overlapping friendship groups. Better for OP to state the truth very clearly now to try to prevent all sorts of stories being made up about her. If she doesn’t tell her version of events, this man and his girlfriend will most certainly be telling their versions.

Lemonadeat8 · 07/08/2025 20:24

Personally I’d tell her to fuck off and say it’s not my fault your boyfriend is a cheat.

QuarkQuarkPoshDuck · 08/08/2025 11:46

denpark · 07/08/2025 13:44

She has contacted me today more calmly, wanting to talk. What do I do? She doesn’t deserve to be with a cheat but I don’t want to be slap bang in the middle of all of this.

Just talk to her. You have done nothing wrong.

I'd just message her saying you're happy to talk to her but as you had no idea he had a GF then this isnt your fault so are not willing to speak to her if she's going to be abusive.

Original poster
denpark · 11/08/2025 10:54

Hi, sorry I’ve been quiet. Lots of life stuff happening. Thank you to everyone who has messaged and I’m so sorry to those who have dealt with a similar situations. It’s really tough.

The update is that we have talked. And she’s lovely. She apologised to me for behaving poorly and I’ve been able to help her fill in gaps in her knowledge. She now knows it wasn’t a relationship, she was already aware via his messages that he chased me and everything I’ve told her consolidated what she already knew. I really feel for her and at least she can now move forward in her life with the truth. Looks like he’s done this with others too so she never stood a chance.

Im happy that I’ve been truthful as we do have overlapping friendship circles and I hate the idea of being painted as the scarlet woman when I didn’t know about her. So I feel more at peace.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 11/08/2025 11:33

denpark · 11/08/2025 10:54

Hi, sorry I’ve been quiet. Lots of life stuff happening. Thank you to everyone who has messaged and I’m so sorry to those who have dealt with a similar situations. It’s really tough.

The update is that we have talked. And she’s lovely. She apologised to me for behaving poorly and I’ve been able to help her fill in gaps in her knowledge. She now knows it wasn’t a relationship, she was already aware via his messages that he chased me and everything I’ve told her consolidated what she already knew. I really feel for her and at least she can now move forward in her life with the truth. Looks like he’s done this with others too so she never stood a chance.

Im happy that I’ve been truthful as we do have overlapping friendship circles and I hate the idea of being painted as the scarlet woman when I didn’t know about her. So I feel more at peace.

Really good outcome, despite it being a horrible situation. Sounds very similar to what happened to me - well done for handling it so well and giving you both a bit of peace. You've really helped her to make a tough decision.

skippy67 · 11/08/2025 11:52

Block. Delete. Live your life.

Silverbirchleaf · 11/08/2025 18:00

Well done in having an honest, open chat with her.

Bikergran · 11/08/2025 18:04

Text back saying exactly that, he never mentioned a GF, as far as you were concerned he was single, and that you have not seen him since and have no intention of doing so. Then block her.

Nearly50omg · 11/08/2025 18:51

Karma is a bitch and frankly this other woman sounds like she deserves everything that has come to her. Anyone that goes after a married man deserves all she gets imo

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