To not want 3 dogs in my house?

[unwinding5]

My new boyfriend and I live about an hour away from each other, but we both drive, so travelling isn’t an issue. The catch is, he has 3 dogs. We usually see each other every weekend and take turns staying at each other's places.

He recently asked if he could start bringing the dogs along when he stays at my house as it’s difficult for him to find someone to watch them over the weekend (his brother and a friend have been helping him out so far). The thing is, my house isn’t very big. It’s only a 2 bedroom, and the second bedroom is tiny. I only moved in at the start of the year, and I’ve decorated it and put in new carpets throughout. Plus, my garden isn’t secure for dogs, so they could easily escape.

Two of the dogs aren’t fully house trained yet either and tend to have accidents. His place has laminate flooring downstairs, which makes it easier for him to clean up. I love animals and enjoy spending time with the dogs when I’m at his place, but there’s a huge difference between having 1 dog and 3, and I think it would be easier for me to spend more time at his place rather than him bringing all of them here (and potentially wrecking my house). I feel guilty though, like I’m leaving them out.

Would it be unreasonable for me to say no?

Ooh OP. Dog lover here! My home is open to humans and their furry companions but I have the space and cleaner twice a week’
you are not being unreasonable at all. He may understand your concerns and offer to have more time at his (with the dogs). Set boundaries now and speak up for yourself- it’s too soon in a relationship to have to accommodate someone else!

I dated a guy with 3 dogs for a while and ultimately it became a deal breaker.
3 dogs is a lot in any house. 1 would have been fine but 3 just took up a lot of space, produced a lot of shit and needed walking lots (as he walked the 2 small ones and the big one separate) felt like he was forever out with them.

He never brought them to my house but it was clear I was never going to live with him with 3 dogs and therefore I got out before it became serious as it was going nowhere.

I completely understand, but in this case I would suggest that you stay at his place 3 times out of four, if you are interested. I have 2 dogs and no man would ever be as important to me as they are 😅

Disgusting, no way. Your house will stink!

I wouldn’t have one dog past the front door.

I wouldn’t have one dog past the front door

Took the words right out of my mouth. I've lived in my house for 40 years and never had a dog over the doorstep although many have tried.

On a few occasions people have turned up with dog in tow. I tell them I have
an acute allergy so the dog can't come in. I'm not allergic but it suits me to say I am. One friend even rang ahead to ask me to take an antihistamine before she came round because she had to bring her dog. What a fucking cheek!
I told her I was also allergic to antihistamines and let her mull it over till she got the message.

YANBU at all. The dogs would be a dealbreaker for me.

Agree. I don't allow dogs in my house either. I also claim allergy. Think there might be a lot of us about.

YANBU but neither is he.
His dogs are a significant part of his life so you need to find a compromise if your relationship is going to work. Personally I think the relationship is doomed.
If you are one of those awful people who issue an ultimatum-"it's me or the dogs"-then one of two things will happen. 1. He dumps you, or 2. He gets rid of the dogs and blames you for his loss. He'll never forgive you.
So my advice if you can't love his dogs? Do yourself, and him, and the dogs a favour; end the relationship.
Then find yourself a partner who prefers life to be tidy and spotless as opposed to a dog lover (and all that comes with dog ownership) who doesn't.

Not unreasonable but by asking this question I think maybe you’re incompatible

I think it's easier for you both for you to go to him instead of him bringing the dogs

Three dogs is a LOT. He sounds like he needs someone who's as nuts about dogs as he is. Basically your life will revolve around multiple dogs and their needs. They will rule your house and where you go on holiday and you'll have to plan days out around them. And they will take up an enormous amount of time and money.

If you're not prepared to be all in with the doggy lifestyle, this will end up being a big incompatibility.

What’s going to happen long term? Why aren’t they house trained? I love dogs have large breed myself but no way would I want 3 untrained dogs running riot in my home

I would find this very easy to answer: dogs don't come into my house and I don't go into theirs. If that means I might miss out on a relationship with a besotted dog enthusiast who can't even housetrain his animals properly, I'm totally cool with that.

I’d say no but maybe when they are fully trained you will reconsider.
unless they are literally still tiny puppies they shouldn’t be having accidents inthe house.

Your problem shows why dogs are an instant ‘no’ for a relationship. Any man who keeps a dog, let alone three, and won’t get rid of it isn’t worth bothering with.

As a pp said, the man and dogs come as a package. The plain reality is that the package will be a pain in the arse because of the dogs. People can keep dogs, sure, but they must expect others to give them a wide berth.

That's what we call not wrapping any owt up in the North

Good for you for being no nonsense and direct.

There are so many mealy mouthed, cowardly people about these days

👍

He has several unhousetrained dogs? How does this happen? Unless there is a sad backstory of him rescuing dogs from a shelter and rehabilitating them, he sounds like an irresponsible dog owner and therefore a dick. Imagine what kind of father he would be. Are there other signs he is selfish and / or irresponsible?

Man alive, that’s made me come out in a cold sweat.
He’s got some brass neck asking you to do this. Especially since 2 of the mutts aren’t even bloody toilet trained.

It’s a no from me

Painful as it may be, you are better off single.

I'd not be saying yes to that. But I also wouldn't date a man with three dogs. Not in a million years.

Exactly this. Unless they’re puppies, why aren’t they toilet trained by now?

Not significant enough for him to house train them.....I think you are mistaking someone who 'fancies' the idea of having dogs with someone who actually loves dogs and puts the time and effort into training them.

Does a man with 3 dogs who arent even house trained work for a living? Serious question. Either he does and he leaves them unattended in a house to shit and piss everywhere, he dumps them on others to look after them or as i suspect he is unemployed and hasnt got enough brain cells to realise 3 dogs are bloody hard work.

OP hasnt come back on. I wonder what she thinks

Yes, why aren't they house trained?