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Original poster

Are my standards on the floor?

31 replies

Worriz · 05/08/2025 22:36

Left the house at 5.30am to go to work. Back at 9.30pm. Husband is on long leave and at home with our young kids. He was on a lads weekend this weekend. Come home this evening to both kids still awake. One of them in backwards inside out PJs. And the kitchen is disgusting. We are talking milk out all day. Pasta stuck at bottom of pans, noodle packets everywhere, nuggets on the floor. Piss all pver the floor. Husband is sleeping and im tidying.

He doesnt usually act like this and lads weekends are rare. But I do have to organise stuff for them and book things. But he does usually tidy up.

He says "help me out love. Ive had the kids all day and im struggling" and has gone to sleep.

Do I have no standards?

OP posts:
idkbroidk · 05/08/2025 22:39

PISS all over the floor??? that is disgusting. i feel so bad for you.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/08/2025 22:40

WTAF?

popbingo · 05/08/2025 22:40

Sorry you’ve come home to such a disaster OP! Honestly, I would be fuming - but it’s pointless having the conversation tonight whilst he’s obviously still hungover.

Laura95167 · 05/08/2025 22:41

Who pissed on the floor?!?!?

Divebar2021 · 05/08/2025 22:41

Well he seemingly has no standards that’s for sure.

Ohmych · 05/08/2025 22:42

How old are the kids? Get them to bed and then sit down and relax. He can clean it all up tomorrow

Enigma53 · 05/08/2025 22:42

Piss on the floor????
Bloody hell OP, I would be livid beyond belief!

TheSlantedOwl · 05/08/2025 22:43

Yes he cleans tomorrow. Get the kids and yourself to bed.

So many threads about pathetic useless husbands. So depressing.

Ohmych · 05/08/2025 22:44

I would be fuming too be honest. Don't clean up

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/08/2025 22:46

How old are the kids and who pissed on the floor? As a one off the kitchen mess wouldn’t bother me too much, it’s easily cleaned but piss on the floor is an absolute basic and I’d be wondering what was happening with the kids all day if he was too hung over to mop a floor

CostelloJones · 05/08/2025 22:46

I would go fucking Nuclear

Original poster
Worriz · 05/08/2025 22:47

Youngest is 3 and hes weed on the bathroom floor but husband has just left it.

You know what worried me most is that the 3 year old was wearing his oldest brothers PJs and they are falling off him and theyre inside out and backwards. And I was like "why is XX wearing this" and it was clear H didn't know, like "urhhh dunno" . Obviously the PJs aren't a big deal but its like...have you paid any attention to them at all today? The 3 yr old clearly got himself dressed for bed

OP posts:
Blessedbethefruitz · 05/08/2025 22:51

My 3yo gets herself dressed for bed sometimes, she thinks it's hilarious to steal her big brother's t shirts as a nighty (he doesn't even notice) - so this wouldn't bother me. Nor would an off day of washing up left.

Pee on the floor? And other garbage? Milk out all day? Not ok, lazy and gross.

DoYouReally · 05/08/2025 22:57

Why don't you leave it there for him to deal with?

He is on leave he has time.

You had a really long day. You've done enough today.

SpryCat · 05/08/2025 23:07

He isn’t really looking after the DC, he’s badly doing the bare minimum. He wants to be looked after like a child, you’re working extremely long hours and you are still having to clean up after him. I bet you don’t have a weekend away with friends, your DC are are basically rearing themselves whilst he is probably busy planning his next weekend away with the lads.

Greenwingsix87 · 05/08/2025 23:18

Say nothing and do nothing, radiate silent fury, except clean up wee bc otherwise it will soak in and stink (if it hasn’t soaked in already).

As you are leaving for work tomorrow, or when you are both awake and present, you give your dh the long cold hard stare of testicular evisceration and tell him that if you ever, ever, come home to the house and children in that state again, or are disrespected in this way, after a 16-hr day, hangover or no hangover, there will be serious shit to contend with.

Tell him you are going out and you want the house in tip top shiny condition when you get back, with a nutritious meal waiting for you in a gleaming kitchen, and the dc need to be bathed, and asleep, dressed appropriately for bed, and immaculate, and all of the floors and horizontal surfaces tidy and polished.

Let him get away with this once op and he will believe that it’s ok to do again. Summon your inner hell fire.

And make sure he knows in no uncertain terms the safety risks of leaving a 3 year old unsupervised. The pjs are a big deal if the child wears several sizes too big and long and then attempts to walk downstairs.

OuijaBoard · 05/08/2025 23:23

Not sure why you're blaming yourself but if you put up with this kind of stuff from him, I'd say low standards are an issue for you in this relationship. I also get the feeling that HIS standards are extraordinarily low. Maybe he was tired or hungover (is it possible he was still drunk?) but the pee on the floor is not normal unless perhaps you walked in right after it happened and something else had caught his attention at the same time. Overall, it sounds like he excused his very poor effort/outcome when he should have been apologetic and (if he had done his best) concerned about his own abilities.

heroinechic · 05/08/2025 23:33

I think your standards are fine. He isn’t usually like this and lads weekends are rare. I’d probably have a silent huff and puff about it and then move on.

MsNevermore · 05/08/2025 23:35

What’s he like normally - if he hasn’t been on a lads weekend?

Because I’ve come home from a girls holiday, with a hangover from hell and still wouldn’t have left toddler piss on the floor or milk out 🤨

Is he a slob all the time if you don’t pick up the load?

idkbroidk · 05/08/2025 23:36

this definitely classifies as him neglecting the children. this is not okay in any way shape or form

Ohthatsmeback · 05/08/2025 23:40

heroinechic · 05/08/2025 23:33

I think your standards are fine. He isn’t usually like this and lads weekends are rare. I’d probably have a silent huff and puff about it and then move on.

Really?
Something really serious could have happened to the children.
Why on earth should she "let it go".
He isn't a " lad". He is a married man with responsibilities to his children and his wife.

JHound · 05/08/2025 23:41

Piss on the floor?

Reason #3,469 I am happy to be single.

Original poster
Worriz · 05/08/2025 23:45

Well @JHound the lads weekend was a long weekend so I have just had 4 days of just me and the kids and no piss on the floor at any time. Also evenings fel dreamy alone!!

I can kinda see H point of "give me a break" and I've had a unusually long day which means he has had a long time alone with kids on a hangover. But I mean....instant noodles stuck to the work surface. Chicken nuggets literally on the floor and I've just walked past a spoon of Nutella on the stairs. Its ridiculous!

OP posts:
heroinechic · 05/08/2025 23:58

Ohthatsmeback · 05/08/2025 23:40

Really?
Something really serious could have happened to the children.
Why on earth should she "let it go".
He isn't a " lad". He is a married man with responsibilities to his children and his wife.

Edited
Show quote history

What makes you think that the children were at risk of something really serious happening to them? As far as we know he didn’t leave them on their own all day or anything like that. He’s let them run riot a bit and not cleaned up after them because he’s hungover. It’s not great but it’s not the crime of the century to me.

If it was happening even semi-regularly it’d be problem but it doesn’t sound like it is!

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/08/2025 00:00

heroinechic · 05/08/2025 23:58

What makes you think that the children were at risk of something really serious happening to them? As far as we know he didn’t leave them on their own all day or anything like that. He’s let them run riot a bit and not cleaned up after them because he’s hungover. It’s not great but it’s not the crime of the century to me.

If it was happening even semi-regularly it’d be problem but it doesn’t sound like it is!

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