How much could your DP/DH do after vasectomy?

[Hey12345]

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

He is taking the piss. My DH didn’t have keyhole and was ok but in pain the next day. I had an EMCS (heart need up every unwell) and had to take care of DS in hospital for a couple of days until they realised how unwell I was

Yes, mine was the same as this. Really never makes a fuss and is never I’ll (I always think of the film ‘Unbreakable’) but the vasectomy really knocked him for six. He was ok after a few days though.

If your DH is normally a wimp then he might be fine but if not then give him the benefit of the doubt. Still massively unfair how much women are expected to do after birth!

Mine was back WFH the second day. Didn't commute till day three.

My husband had it done last year, he actually got an infection and one of his balls swelled up to the size of a large apple. He had the weekend to recover anyway but it didn’t stop him going about his life at home pretty much straight away. He just took paracetamol and antibiotics for the infection.
Your husband is milking it, like another poster said, women are expected to wake up every 90 minutes and act like nothing drastic has happened within an hour of growing a human and giving birth.

Back to work and normal activities the next my day.

My DH drove himself to and from the hospital and went back to work the next day!

DH went to the supermarket on the way home from
his!
It was tender for a few days but it didn’t stop him doing anything.

Sounds like he’s trying it on tbh.

DH was off for a week and didn't do much apart from mope about in the dressing gown of doom.
However there were mitigating circumstances as his wasn't straightforward due to scar tissue from a previous surgery in that area .

Women have C sections and are expected to be pretty much up and about and looking after a baby within a few hours!
Tell him to get a grip.

Mine was incapacitated. I could also understand why as in his case he was badly bruised and very swollen. Had to have supportive dressings and reassessment from urology. He was the exception to the general rule most men are absolutely fine.
It took three days before he could sit down let alone think of going back to work. he has a high pain threshold too.

Tell him he’s milking it and it stops now. Those of us who’ve had a cs and then got on with babycare know how ridiculous he’s being.

My DH took 3 days before he wasn’t constantly sore and in pain. I think it depends on the skill of the surgeon, how much they cut out, and age of the husband- mine was pushing 40 and the older you are the slower you heal.

Where is this? I had vaginal births and that was not at all the case. I can’t imagine such an expectation after a cs!! I do believe you btw, but I do think that’s like a race to the bottom as such an expectation is ridiculous and not something to hold up as a good example. People should not be pushing themselves when in pain and recovering.

And yet women have to care for a newborn baby immediately after giving birth.

So? That’s obviously not ideal either.

Even less than that to be honest! Emergency c-section with first and she had terrible reflux and a lactose interesting so vomited all 6 of her onesies on the second night in hospital, I changed her each time! Elective c-section with second and I was home after 24 hours, definitely changing onesies and nappies and not laying around, I just couldn’t and wouldn’t.

Exactly. I cared for our newborns because I wanted to and I had the milk, it’s a bit different to having a vasectomy. My partner did basically everything apart from feeding because he’s not a useless twat. I have no time for useless men, but if my partner said he was too unwell to do stuff I’d believe him. To all the women moaning about useless men milking it who don’t believe their partners because they take the piss, get rid of them. No point complaining and feeling part of a club with other women who also have useless partners that take the piss but doing fuck all about it.

@Pricelessadvice is correct. First c-section for me (emergency) I did have some more help at the hospital, nurses walking me to the toilet / shower after being admitted to the ward. I was in hospital for 48 hours. My second I was told to walk by myself to the toilet and shower, literally an hour after the section (!!!) and I was discharged in 24 hours! And then had complications with high blood pressure / bradycardia and passed from GP to community midwife to the maternity ward for them to say go to the GP! It was awful and one of the reasons DH opted for vasectomy because I definitely don’t want to go through that again. I did look into me having my “tubes tied” but it’s much more invasive and I obviously can’t take time off being a mother / housewife (I also work too btw!).

I walked almost 2km the day after my c-section (LO was in NICU and wheelchairs were not available), I’m sure he can manage some PJs!

Is your child quite wriggly or do they just need support/a bit of verbal prompting. DH did avoid situations with the kids where they's be likely to be hitting/kicking out (play fighting type stuff basically and also picking up dd as her feet kick out when she's being carried). It wasn't that he couldn't lift her as such, but he wanted to protect his scar.

We went shopping straight after, he drove home, he was back to work the next day and we had sex on day 3.

Unless his looking overly bruised and wanting ice packs and meds I’d say his milking it. Because if he truly hurt he would be doing things to help it rather than just playing in his phone on the sofa.

I think he is perhaps milking it. Unless there is some kind of infection or something has clearly gone wrong? Husband had his in the afternoon. Came home and was on the sofa for a few hours. Then was at work the next day ( job which involves using machinery etc) He did tell EVERYONE about his snip he's a massive ADHD over sharer.

Everything he normally could 🙄.

I had a c section with twins and lots of swelling so couldn't walk for weeks. Magically l was left to care for them that night as my husband couldn't stay and stay weren't very proactive or reactive. So my husband knew there was no chance of him milking such a minor procedure

That is horrific. I wasn’t saying she was wrong btw, just that the expectation where you both were to be up and about within hours is totally unrealistic and unreasonable and shouldn’t be held as a standard for anyone.

My husband rested on the day of the procedure, but is very active and laid a decking area the day after with no issues!

Not too dissimilar to me, giving birth and being home from the hospital within 8hrs and getting on with life with a new born and toddler.

You know your body and your partner and when they need to rest for recovery, if your gut feeling is that he's taking the mick, he probably is.