Has anyone kept their pregnancy hidden until later on?

[Summer2025gal]

Would love opinions on this. Did you ever regret waiting to tell people you’re pregnant? Are you glad you waited?

I have had a history of losses and also successful pregnancy. We’re planning to ttc soon and hide our pregnancy between us for a little while this time. Each time we’ve been pregnant I’ve told people so early.

Did you ever have close family or best friends upset you didn’t say? I am torn between tell people early because of previous losses but also to wait this time (want to wait until 12 or 20 weeks to tell friends and family)

I have a history of losses so when I had my successful pregnancy I didn’t tell most people until the third trimester (I had a pretty small bump until then so was easy to hide).

My immediate family knew early on, as did my line manager as I had to go to appointments etc. But I wanted to wait until I was ‘safe’ enough in the pregnancy for other people to know. No regrets.

I’ve only been pregnant once and I told our parents immediately. We didn’t tell anyone else but when I miscarried we then had to tell people because I could not keep that secret. We’re suffering two years of infertility now so I’m not really sure whether to tell people if we do get pregnant again as it could be after ivf!

i told immediate family at 12 weeks, everyone else at 20. no one commented on that delay to make it fully public, but I'd been quite open about previous miscarriages.

I told parents and employer early on with the first one as I had HG so it was hard to hide. I ended up having to have a TFMR and was gutted that everyone knew. With the second pregnancy that was successful I waited till around 25-29 weeks before I told anyone. It was a little difficult to hide but loose shirts etc. worked. Luckily I wasnt very ill so it was a bit easier. No one was fussed I told them late because all close friends and family understood my reasons. And tbf most people don't really seem to care about when you tell them anyway because pregnancy announcements always mean more to the people having the baby (obviously 😄) and less to everyone else.

Best of luck OP!

I think most people understand waiting 12 weeks or more. The first 12 are so uncertain. I doubt anyone woumd be upset especially if they know your history.

We're telling a couple if weeks early as we going on holiday with the in laws. It would be a stress trying to gide morning sickness. But i did go for a scan to confirm all was okay first.

Thank you. I just found telling people before 12 weeks was nice as I could chat to them about it (also had awful HG) but it gave me anxiety, especially on the hard days where I worked myself up to assume the pregnancy would end in miscarriage.

I always waited until 12 weeks to tell family and friends.
Then I lost a baby at 13 weeks.
With the subsequent pregnancy I waited until 20 weeks to tell people, though anyone who seen me noticed, i didn't say anything.

There is definitely no safe zone unfortunately. I just remember that feeling of telling everyone but then not knowing if the baby was growing well until that 20 week appointment when they do their thorough checks.

I even had to tell my employer at 5 weeks due to HG and time off

I waited until 7 months with ds1 (I did tell family and close friends straight away). It was mainly because I had just had a surgery on my ovary and tubes weeks before falling pregnant and had some bleeds throughout. I was worried something would happen.

I was very small and didn't show until the last few months so it was easy to hide. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Back in 1999, when things were different in employment law, I was due almost half my annual salary on top in bonus. However I knew that head office could and would decide to re-allocate 'additional head office costs' against my branch if they so much as got an inkling I was likely to go on maternity leave. So I waited till I got official in writing notification of my bonus - I was 28 weeks - and had sadly 'put on weight over Christmas' 'stopped swimming for now, not got time' (in fairness we'd bought a do-er upper) and also developed a real love of the local bakery cakes - I used to go and buy a random selection of cakes a couple of times a week, and leave some out in the main office and take some through to my office and pretend I'd had at least two and had no room for more. Then I'd moan about my weight gain. I also went off coffee - luckily HO had decided we needed 'nice' coffee machines and a new contract (with awful coffee), so I wasn't the only one to go off coffee
I got my bonus, which re-did the kitchen/utility

I waited as long as possible to speak about it because I have a history of losses.
My SIL told people the minute the line appeared on the test.
I asked her why she told people so soon, she said she wanted to be sure people knew so if something went wrong she wouldnt have to tell them she had got pregnant and then lost in the same sentence. She said if she was sad she wanted people to know why as it wasnt something she could control and she wouldnt be hiding grief.

It wouldnt of been right for me but I understood why she did it with each of her pregnancies.

Ultimately, it is about how you and your OH feel, other people do not have a right to know about your body until you are ready. Do what feels right in your heart.

I waited until twenty weeks each time.

Most people I worked with wait until 20 weeks. Sometimes you could tell but often not.

Your pregnancy is your business. When you choose to share it and with who is your choice. Anyone who does not understand why you choose not to share your news does not deserve to hear it. Anyone who has an opinion about who when or how you share your news is being rude.

Didn't tell anyone until 23 weeks no one guessed either!

I told immediate family just before my first scan.
Then did the 'announcement' to everyone else at 20 weeks.
I also announced the birth to immediate family after 7 hours, and to 'the world' at 4 weeks old.

Dd2 told us very early - before she missed a period and I think that was a tad early. Dd1 told us about 9 weeks which seemed better. Dd2 lost a pregnancy last year (ectopic) at about 7/8 weeks. She hadn't told us probably because db had just died and then she had the miscarriage the day dd1 gave birth. I do feel sad I wasn't able to support her. She is now 24 weeks pregnant and told us at 8 weeks after a scan had confirmed it was in the right place.
Of course totally up to the pregnant person and their partner. The rest of the family were told at 12 weeks.

Iv worked with some women who were obviously pregnant but we all just pretended until they told us. Some were 20 plus weeks

I didn’t tell anyone other than my partner, boss, and PT until gone 20 weeks. Not sure I could have kept it to myself much longer, I got big quite quickly at that point but it thankfully slowed down! As above poster, we also didn’t rush to tell people after the birth, but we’d not said the due date so no one was waiting for it. No losses, no story, I just didn’t want everyone knowing my business. That said, the day I did tell my parents was joyous and I wish I’d thought to record their faces

Managed to not tell many people close to third trimester each time. I only told them when it became a bit obvious or when I had to at work for mat leave planning. Didn’t regret it one bit. You will find people aren’t really that interested when it doesn’t affect them!

’Announced’ (if we can even call it that for us as we didn’t do a big announcement, we just told people when we saw them) at 12wks with 1st, then 20wks with 2nd. I returned from maternity leave pregnant & didn’t want to tell work until I was ready to tell them. Work had been a bit funny about me reducing my hours when returning & I feel I would’ve been under more pressure to return full time when I was going off on leave again so I kept quiet until I felt ready to tell them. I was put under a bit of pressure to tell my work I was pregnant with my 3rd as I was covering my boss & I was asked to extend this & support their reintegration back into our team. I had to tell them at 8wks which I was very uncomfortable about doing as only my partner & my boss knew until about 14wks.

I was sick as a dog with all my pregnancies so couldn't really hide it! Would probably have waited till 12 weeks to tell most people though if I'd had the choice.

wi my 3rd it was only me n husband that knew until I was 30 weeks, we were in denial as my 2nd was only 13 weeks old when I got pregnant and she would be only 12 months when baby was due!
we then only told our parents and when I had her and went out with a double pushchair everyone was like oh have you had another 🤣

I told most people early with my first. Then I told people with the next pregnancy and found out it was a missed miscarriage and telling people was just awkward they didn’t know what to say so with my little boy who’s 3 now we waited until 20 weeks to tell anyone we only told our mums and dads x

I fell pregnant unplanned last year aged 42 with 3 kids. I wanted to wait until.the 20 weeks scan to announce it. My husband couldn't keep his gob shut and told his mum at 16 weeks. Then my mum died suddenly so he told my stepdad, who told my brother in law. Do by the time 20 weeks came round literally everyone knew except my husbands sister. Ill always regret not telling my mum before she died