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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did I break it?

50 replies

Mistytreees · 05/08/2025 07:13

This evening I was in bed waiting for my husband to come to bed from cleaning his teeth. I am pregnant so I am fairly exhausted. The room was pitch black. When he came in the room he put something on my feet. My natural reflex was to kick it off. It turns out it was his iPhone which now appears not to work. He is blaming me and calling me names. The phone was 6-7 years old and did not have a cover or any type of protection. I am really sad and upset as I did not mean it. I feel terrible and now cannot sleep but I also do think he should not have put it on my feet in the dark. AIBU? (I could not feel it was an iPhone as my feet were under a duvet)

OP posts:
WaltzingWaters · 05/08/2025 07:18

No he was silly to do that and his fault. He should have put it up by his pillow. And he absolutely shouldn’t be being a dick to you about it. And should put a protective case and screen on the next one he gets.

comeonbaby23 · 05/08/2025 07:19

It was an accident and not your fault. Your DH should be the one feeling bad for putting it there in the first place.

verycloakanddaggers · 05/08/2025 07:20

You reacted instinctively. If he continues to blame you he is being unreasonable.

You did nothing wrong.

marymaryquitecontrary42 · 05/08/2025 07:22

What a cunt. ExH used to come into the room talking at me when he knew it was dozing which sometimes makes me jump. And still blamed it on me. Ex for a reason!!

Moonnstars · 05/08/2025 07:23

Did he know he was putting it on your feet? I am guessing as it was pitch black he threw the phone onto the end of the bed before going off to the bathroom.
Either way it is unreasonable to blame you and he needed to be a bit more careful about where he put the phone, perhaps going into the room and placing it on a bedside table.

verycloakanddaggers · 05/08/2025 07:25

He is blaming me and calling me names
What specifically is he saying?

Because people can be angry and abusive, or angry and not abusive - being angry doesn't excuse abusive behaviour.

taxidriver · 05/08/2025 07:30

i can see both points of view, i put things on the bed and am very annoyed when dh kicks them off, sounds like you did a large kick

BlankBlankBlank14 · 05/08/2025 07:32

Calling you names is unreasonable whatever!

PerfectTuesday · 05/08/2025 07:37

If it's 6-7 years old it might be past the stage where it's supported by upgrades etc. and they sometimes stop working properly anyway. Regardless, it isn't your fault - it was an accident. I sometimes think people nowadays have lost sight of the concept of an accident - no one's fault, no one is to blame.

If he thinks that model of phone would still be working fine, he'll be able to replace it with a second-hand one at no great expense.

taxidriver · 05/08/2025 07:39

BlankBlankBlank14 · 05/08/2025 07:32

Calling you names is unreasonable whatever!

that is very true

Mangotangoisshit · 05/08/2025 07:41

Yeah his fault, but kicking something on your feet isn't a natural reflex really.

GiantTeddyIsTired · 05/08/2025 07:43

I'm surprised that kicking it (totally reasonable - I would twitch if something landed on my feet in the dark too) off a bed in a bedroom (unless you have tiled floors) did for it.

I have a 12 which is about that age, admittedly in a thin case, I drop it fairly often because I'm clumsy and it's fine...

Perhaps because of things my ex did, are you sure he didn't drop it himself in the bathroom (most likely does have a tiled floor) and broke it himself, then did that to give him a reason to blame you (the tales I could tell about that kind of behaviour!)

SheReallyLikes · 05/08/2025 07:43

Mangotangoisshit · 05/08/2025 07:41

Yeah his fault, but kicking something on your feet isn't a natural reflex really.

I would have thought an unexplained object landing on your feet would be the very thing to kick off them.

GiantTeddyIsTired · 05/08/2025 07:45

I've done it to the cat when he's been extra quiet and he suddenly touched my foot.. Do people really not twitch when something unexpected touches you in the dark?

Confusdworriedmum · 05/08/2025 07:45

I can understand him being annoyed but it wasn't anyone's fault. He is being very unreasonable to call you names. I hope he apologies when he's calmed down.

Mangotangoisshit · 05/08/2025 07:45

SheReallyLikes · 05/08/2025 07:43

I would have thought an unexplained object landing on your feet would be the very thing to kick off them.

Show quote history

She wasn't asleep she was waiting for him to come up.

PinkyFlamingo · 05/08/2025 07:47

Bit of both really. He shouldn't have put it on your feet but it's not heavy is it so kicking it off is strange to!

cloudtreecarpet · 05/08/2025 07:54

Sorry to say this but he sounds awful, OP.

You're pregnant with his child and he is angry and calling you names for something that was clearly unintentional on your part and was his fault really. Who puts breakable things on top of someone in bed??

Is this a normal kind of reaction from him? Because, as an outsider, it doesn't sound good.

Ohthatsmeback · 05/08/2025 08:08

Mangotangoisshit · 05/08/2025 07:41

Yeah his fault, but kicking something on your feet isn't a natural reflex really.

Perhaps some people are more sensitive to this but if someone put something on top of my feet on the duvet I absolutely would try and kick it off. I can't stand the feeling of my feet feeling comfined which it would give me. So it would be my natural reaction.

It was an accident OP. Nobody's fault. I can understand that he is upset at the phone being broken but really shouldn't be blaming you and definitely not being abusive. Does he have form for this? Has he got a bad temper generally?

Iamnemesis · 05/08/2025 08:15

If he is blaming you ……………what if it was already broken before he put it on
your feet. Now he can ‘ legitimately’ ask for a new one? Could he do stuff like that??

cooroocoocoo · 05/08/2025 08:19

OP - Even if you did, it doesn't matter. Accidents happen and with a little one even more things will get broken, posted in nooks and crannies, or fed porridge.

Being frustrated is understandable but not name calling. You apologised, it was a reflex. It may be worth having a relaxed chat about it in the light of a new day.

cooroocoocoo · 05/08/2025 08:23

On a practical level re phone - phones do get repaired (I-smash, etc) and I personally never buy new but from backstreet or musicmagpie (both reliable IME). And he should get phone protectors, they save my phone on a daily basis.

watchingplanesicantafford · 05/08/2025 08:24

It's not your fault as he put it there, however kicking it hard enough to presumably knock it to the floor is surely a deliberate act. A reflex would just move it a bit wouldn't it?

justanotherpassword · 05/08/2025 08:24

Assuming he put on the bed not knowing it was on your actual feet. He didn’t switch the light on and the room was pitch black.

if you were awake why didn’t you just say something at the time? How far did you kick this thing that it isn’t working?!

He shouldn’t be calling you names. Wrong on all levels.

StrawberryCranberry · 05/08/2025 08:30

You didn't mean to kick it off, but I can see it's annoying for him too as he thought he was putting it safely down on the bed and didn't expect it to get kicked off.