Did I break it?

[Mistytreees]

This evening I was in bed waiting for my husband to come to bed from cleaning his teeth. I am pregnant so I am fairly exhausted. The room was pitch black. When he came in the room he put something on my feet. My natural reflex was to kick it off. It turns out it was his iPhone which now appears not to work. He is blaming me and calling me names. The phone was 6-7 years old and did not have a cover or any type of protection. I am really sad and upset as I did not mean it. I feel terrible and now cannot sleep but I also do think he should not have put it on my feet in the dark. AIBU? (I could not feel it was an iPhone as my feet were under a duvet)

He ought to pipe down and think.about how damaging a kick to his balls might be OP.

It absolutely is!

There is no way kicking an iPhone with your bare feet in bed has broken it.

Could he be angling to make you pay for a replacement?

Tell him (1) he should not put things on people’s feet (2) there is no way you broke it and this is all on him.

Yes it is, if something suddenly cold or with pressure that you arent excepting you could kick it away or flich or what ever but im sure you know this.

Something landed on her feet in the pitch black and her natural reflex was to lick it. When should she have said something?!

Never had an iphone but surely, case or no case, a two-ish foot fall from a bed shouldn't be enough to break it?

He shouldn’t be calling you names.

If he wanted to look after his belongings he should have put it down safely. It’s like putting it on a wonky shelf and being cross at the shelf when it falls off.

We teach children to look after their belongings. We should teach adults too.

I’ve dropped my iPhone on my hard floors countless times and it’s been fine. If his isn’t working, it was probably broken already. Is he demanding that you buy him a new one?

If i was laid awake and I saw someone come in the bedroom and something touched my feet, no I wouldn't kick it off.
But we're all different and regardless if you would do it or not isn't the point of the thread. Her husband is a prick and we can all agree on that.

That’s the point, she didn’t see anything. It was pitch black and something landed on her feet, her natural reflex was to kick it off. We can’t dictate what people’s natural reflexes should be in the comfort of their beds!

I do agree everyone is different 100 per cent but your comments to say its not a natural reflex isnt true. In fact I think it would be more common to react rather then to not.

If you did kick it off I wouldn't actually blame you, you aren't a shelf fgs! But the kicking it or not kicking it off is irrelevant to my mind.

Whatever the situation, I don't think a man should be calling his pregnant, full-of-hormones, vulnerable & carrying his precious child, names! His angry reaction towards you is just not Ok.
It wouldn't be ok if you weren't pregnant but given that you are it just makes it doubly worse I think.
How dare he call you names for accidentally breaking an old phone that was probably on its last legs anyway!

Please update us and tell us that he has since apologised to you.

I'm failing to see why some pp are so anxious to see OP at fault in this.

I would argue that putting a phone anywhere on a duvet cover of a bed someone is already lying in cannot be described as " putting it safely down"

Believe me I have form for my phone ending up on the floor as a result of me putting it down on my duvet, and that's with only me in the bed. And it's why my latest phone was chosen because is built like a tank. It's amazing how the smallest movement of the person under the duvet can result in a phone sliding onto the floor, especially if it has a shiny casing.

It was his responsibility to look after his phone and putting it on the bed with his wife in it in a dark room is not putting it in a safe place.

I’m astonished by the number of people suggesting OP could be in any way at fault for kicking it off. Why the hell was he putting the phone on her feet? She’s a human being, not a storage cupboard! If his phone is that precious to him he should take better care of it, if he just drops it down wherever he fancies without thinking about it it is his fault it got damaged.

What names is he calling you OP? That’s really not OK.

Pretty sure this would not cause it to break. Mine fell off the roof of a moving car onto the road and still worked!

6-7 year iPhone is definitely on its way out anyway!!!! I’m guessing it’s an iPhone 7 or 8? In which case he can replace with a refurbished phone for next to nothing.

On a further note, phones of that age die for no reason whatsoever. We put my sons fully working, nothing wrong with it iphone8 in a drawer and when my phone died recently (iPhone 11, dropped in the supermarket with a case on and got the black screen of death) and I needed a replacement for a few days, tried to charge it and turn it on and it wouldn’t even come on.

I think I’d be telling him quite solidly to get a grip.

The phone was 6-7 years old and did not have a cover or any type of protection
More fool him if he has an iphone and doesn't use a case.

I am really sad and upset as I did not mean it. I feel terrible and now cannot sleep but I also do think he should not have put it on my feet in the dark

He should have been more careful and put it on the bedside table.

It is a natural reflex to kick something off your feet if you're not expecting it to be there and especially as it sounds like you were exhausted and possibly in that stage just before you fall asleep where you are very sensitive to everything.

He should not be calling you names. The whole thing is down to him. He didn't have his phone in a case and he didn't put it somewhere safe. A bed with another person lying in it is not a safe place for a phone.

Thanks all. He did not apologise this morning but when I asked him about it, he said it was not my fault. It is his birthday coming up so I am going to put in for a new phone in lieu of a present. I am just sad that he is okay to leave me crying myself to sleep. That’s what made me so upset. And then the next day it is like nothing happened. Anyways, I told him that that is what upset me. I do not think he realises how much his reactions can impact me. But I know I am not perfect either.

Wow, he sounds like a right arsehole! you did nothing wrong. talk about blaming others for their own mistakes 🤨

OP sit him down when you have time and feel stronger and explain how he made you feel and that you want him to reflect and be more considerate. Be clear on his need to respect you now and for you both to pull together.
Newborns are a whole new world of stress and he can't be acting mindlessly and blaming you with a newborn around.

He’s agreed it wasn’t your fault but he hasn’t apologised?! He needs to apologise. It was wrong to blame you. It was very wrong to call you names. He needs to apologise.

Does he ever apologise?

It absolutely is.

You might not personally do it, but many people kick out when feet are touched unexpectedly.

not really, unless it is really bad. I am used to it now but it is hard.