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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More of a Wwyd - friends son with epilepsy

134 replies

raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:05

My friends 17 yr old son has epilepsy and has it bad. For conte t he has had more than 8 seizures this year so far. He’s not supposed to drive until he is one year seizures free however he is continuing to have lessons. I’ve begged her not to let him as he is putting not only himself at danger but everyone else in the vicinity but she just won’t listen. She says he just wants to pass his test then he will stop. I really don’t know what to do it’s so dangerous

OP posts:
Seawolves · 04/08/2025 18:06

I'd report it to the DVLA.

ninjahamster · 04/08/2025 18:06

I would report to the DVLA.

lunar1 · 04/08/2025 18:07

I’d inform the driving instructor and the DVLA. I’ve no idea what they would do with that information, but I couldn’t not say anything.

Campingisnexttogodliness · 04/08/2025 18:08

When I reported my exh for driving with a medical condition nothing was done. Report to the driving school and the police.

IsThisLifeNow · 04/08/2025 18:10

Yes report to DVLA and driving school

raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:13

I’m not sure which driving school he is with but could definitely report to dvla I will look into doing that. I’ve honestly been having panic attacks about it I don’t know how my friend can justify it

OP posts:
UninterestedBeing12 · 04/08/2025 18:14

Panic attacks about it is a bit much. Tell the police.

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 04/08/2025 18:18

Definitely inform dvla and police. If he has a seizure at the wheel and kills or seriously injures someone you really don't want to live with that on your conscience knowing you didn't inform the authorities. After that its on them to act.

Campingisnexttogodliness · 04/08/2025 18:18

Dvla did nothing when I repeatedly reported exh for driving whilst wearing 2 surgical boots.
Manual car.. And he had diabetes..

Marmaladelover · 04/08/2025 18:29

Campingisnexttogodliness · 04/08/2025 18:18

Dvla did nothing when I repeatedly reported exh for driving whilst wearing 2 surgical boots.
Manual car.. And he had diabetes..

To be fair - epilepsy is far more clear cut 12 months without any seizure .

I guess he is also driving the friend’s car for practice between lessons so you could report both to police . But your friend would be culpable too . The Driving instructor should be told too its also his/ her livelihood at stake too.

raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:31

@UninterestedBeing12 sorry if my overreacting and panic attacks is have offended you. Seriously why even bother to comment?

OP posts:
Hotflushesandchilblains · 04/08/2025 18:46

I guess her rationale is that in a dual control car, if he has a seizure, someone can take over and drive it safely.

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:48

If he’s having lessons in a car with dual controls, it’s not a problem.

raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:48

Yes that is what she is thinking but they cannot take over the steering

OP posts:
raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:49

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:48

If he’s having lessons in a car with dual controls, it’s not a problem.

It is if he has a seizure

OP posts:
Barrenfieldoffucks · 04/08/2025 18:49

No, but they can slam their foot on the brake which stops the car? And grab the wheel if necessary.

Presumably the instructor knows?

I wouldn't be overly fussed about someone having driving lessons in his position, after that more so.

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:51

raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:49

It is if he has a seizure

Why?

The instructor would be able to safely take control of the car and pull over. If you’re concerned about the management of his seizure while he is in a drivers seat, then it’s none of your business but there’s no reason it can’t be dealt with appropriately.

AuntyDepressant · 04/08/2025 18:52

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:48

If he’s having lessons in a car with dual controls, it’s not a problem.

Any idea how the passenger steers?

AnSolas · 04/08/2025 18:52

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:48

If he’s having lessons in a car with dual controls, it’s not a problem.

He has no pernission to drive on a public road.

Epilepsy and driving
You must tell DVLA if you’ve had any epileptic seizures or blackouts.
You must stop driving straight away.
https://www.gov.uk/epilepsy-and-driving

Epilepsy and driving

You must tell DVLA if you've had any epileptic seizures or blackouts - download the correct form to let them know

https://www.gov.uk/epilepsy-and-driving

AuntyDepressant · 04/08/2025 18:55

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:51

Why?

The instructor would be able to safely take control of the car and pull over. If you’re concerned about the management of his seizure while he is in a drivers seat, then it’s none of your business but there’s no reason it can’t be dealt with appropriately.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? The instructor won’t have a clue when a seizure is imminent and won’t be immediately ready to take the controls. Anything could happen before he realises what is happening, by which time it may already be too late for a pedestrian when they mount the kerb. He can’t steer safely from the passenger seat with a seat belt on anyway.

Smartiepants79 · 04/08/2025 18:56

What type of epilepsy? When was it diagnosed?
This could kill your friends son and his instructor and anyone unlucky enough to be in his way. I can’t believe anyone would be this stupid.
I have a Teenager with epilepsy we have had to accept that she may never drive.
Please report this. Now.

Smartiepants79 · 04/08/2025 18:58

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 18:51

Why?

The instructor would be able to safely take control of the car and pull over. If you’re concerned about the management of his seizure while he is in a drivers seat, then it’s none of your business but there’s no reason it can’t be dealt with appropriately.

It’s completely illegal even if you’ve passed your test. Let alone a 17 year old having lessons. He could kill someone.

Hm17 · 04/08/2025 18:58

raspberryberet7 · 04/08/2025 18:49

It is if he has a seizure

The instructor has a brake (and clutch) and can reach over steer the car to pull over. I wouldn't report this. I would be far more concerned if he had a test pass and was driving alone.

Smartiepants79 · 04/08/2025 19:00

Hm17 · 04/08/2025 18:58

The instructor has a brake (and clutch) and can reach over steer the car to pull over. I wouldn't report this. I would be far more concerned if he had a test pass and was driving alone.

So it’s ok for him to learn to drive but not to actually drive?? What?
IT IS ILLEGAL!

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 04/08/2025 19:01

I can't believe some people don't think this is an issue. What if the seizure causes the guy to ram his foot down on the gas pedal?