To be really upset DH bought DD an electric scooter I said no to?

[AspDude]

I said no because I don’t think she’s old enough (8), and I worry about safety. They’re not toys and I’ve seen how fast they go. DH knew how I felt, we’ve had the conversation more than once. This morning he just handed her one as a surprise while I was making breakfast. Huge excitement, I had to smile through it but I’m livid. He says I’m overreacting and it’s not a big deal but I feel totally undermined. We’re meant to be on the same page with this stuff. I don’t even want her to have it now on principle.

AIBU to be this upset?

Miles too young. And those things shouldn’t be riden on the pavement at all, or round park paths. They are vehicles.

So unless you want your dd driving it alone on the roads, it needs to go back.

I think they’re illegal outside of designated areas / private land?

They ARE illegal apart from private land. So unless you have a few acres lying around, she’ll just be going up and down your drive.

Police round here love seizing them. Then they get crushed.

Depends how fast it goes I guess.

I saw someone zooming around on the road on an electric bike without a helmet - asking for trouble if you ask me. They must have been going at least 30 mph.

If it is speed limited to say 10mph it probably won't be much worse than a pushbike which a lot of kids have at that age ?

Does she already ride a bike and have a helmet and have decent road sense/respect for other pedestrians/road users ?

Both of those things would affect my opinion on whether it is a good idea or not.

They seize them regularly outside my son’s school. They are pointless and dangerous, never mind be undermined that way. It goes back.

It doesn't matter whether it's a good idea or not (although I'm with you - too young for something like that). What matters is you made a parenting decision together and he overrode you and is now telling you that you have no right to be cross about it.

Does he often feel he should have the final say in things?

Yanbu

Firstly because of what it is.
Secondly in our house we dont randomly and unilaterally give the kids £100+ presents it's birthday and Christmas only.

I hope he bothered to buy a helmet, knee and elbow pads too...

They're illegal outude private land. Most of the teenagers round here that have them are drug couriers. 8 is far too young.

It's illegal to ride them in publc places (including parks etc.) so she'll be a bit limited unless you have a lot of land.
It was a stupid thing for him to do, especially when you've already discussed it, also a very expensive 'surprise' why is it so important to him that she has one of these? Most 8 yr olds I see round here are quite happy riding the traditional type of rider propelled scooter.

Why does he want her to have one so badly?

As others have said, they are illegal except on private land.

Your husband sounds like an idiot

Makes no difference as she's not allowed to ride it on roads or where there are pedestrians. Unless the husband thinks its fine for his child to break the law.

I'd say that since your husband decided unilaterally to buy the thing, you can uniaterally decide to get rid of it.

Has your husband not seen the news stories of children killed on e-scooters? There are so many
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cj9183ze8d9oPitsea collision victims 'were riding an e-scooter', say police - BBC News

In April there had already been three child deaths this year https://observer.co.uk/news/national/article/e-scooters-are-too-fast-for-kids-casualties-are-soaringE-scooter casualties soar as children "are given speeds t...

Thanks all. This is exactly why I said no in the first place. We don’t have private land, just a driveway she can go up and down a few times. I told him it wasn’t legal to use in parks or pavements but he brushed it off. I also asked about a helmet and he said “she can just use her bike one” - which she never wears without me reminding her anyway.

And yes to the bigger point some of you made - it’s not just the scooter, it’s the fact he made this decision alone and now I’m the bad guy for being upset. He doesn’t always do this but when he does it’s always about making her happy in the moment and leaving me to be the one who has to say no later. I’m not sure what the answer is now - if I say it has to go back I’m the mean mum, but if we keep it I feel like I’m giving in.

Ask him what other laws he is happy to break?
What I don't understand is why shops sell the bloody things are the vast majority of the population won't be able to use them.
This is definitely one to put your foot down on.
Tell your daughter her dad made an error and that these scooters aren't for children so she isn't allowed to use it.
He needs to return it now.

My husband almost killed a father/son duo, both of them in the one scooter, straight out of a side road and right in front of the car!! How we missed them, I truly don’t know! Child wouldn’t have been older than six! Terrifying!

Maybe he’s trying to bump her off!

Your DH is an absolutely fuckwit. He obviously cares more about his own male ego (being the "fun daddy") than your DD's safety. Quite frankly he doesn't sound fit to be a parent. These things are bloody dangerous and it's also illegal for a child of that age to ride them anyway. Personally I wouldn't give a flying fuck what my DH thought. The thing would be returned pronto. It would also serve a lesson to your DD that sometimes "wonderful daddy" is wrong.

My dad got us a mini moter bike when i was 10 my mum was livid but we was having so much fun.
She calmed down with in 3 days.
We were sensible kids though.
It got worse as we got older dad got an old banger to learn us to drive i was 14 at the time.
Mum this time round was on board.

You could tell them (both!) that you have checked the regulations and she will only be able to ride it on the drive. You will not permit her to ride it anywhere else and nor will the police.

It’s reassuring to hear I’m not being totally unreasonable about this. I do feel like it’s one of those moments you have to draw a line. She’s only 8 - she’s still figuring out how to use her gears properly on her bike. The idea of her zipping around at 10mph on something silent and motorised gives me the absolute fear.

I hadn’t seen those news stories but I’ll be showing him later. I honestly think he just didn’t think it through. He saw something she’d be excited about and went with that. But that’s not how this works - not when it comes to safety and not when we’ve already discussed it.

I think it’s going back.

I'm glad my hubby and I talk everything thru and agree on things...way out of order and she way to young

YANBU It's illegal for her to use the scooter except on private property with the permission of the landowner. It's generally illegal for adults to use them except on private property. There are a number of government approved experimental schemes that allow adults to rent and use scooters in public certain areas. They can only rent to over 16s who have a Category Q UK Driving licence. The number of serious injuries to children is spiralling and there have been a number of deaths. 8 is far too young.

He simply isn't parenting your child properly if he's buying her dangerous equipment and giving in to her demands. Like I said, he's not doing it for your DD - he's doing it to boost his own ego and "buy" her affection. It's all wrong on so many levels.