Quirks my mum has

[BeTaupeShaker]

She has 20 mugs that's are "hers' that no one else is allowed to use.

Own small dinner plate, maybe for portion control I don't know. Has to served her dinner on her plate, not an issue if we go out but she does always say she eats too much and sore stomach.

Own butter (although it's vegetable spread lol).

Constantly walking of by herself to smoke and be by herself. Went to a caravan and she would just sit outside chain smoking.

Had to change wallpaper (type you paint over) as it was patterned and made her eyes funny.

Cinema makes her feel light headed.

Quirks or ND?

Quirks. People can still have them these days without necessitating a label.

Quirks. Don't see what's particularly ND about them! It's just personal habits. If they annoy you, give yourself some space.

Quirks
Most people have a favourite mug that is 'theirs' (ok 20 is a lot and a bit odd)
Plate for portion control - fine
Own butter (not sure what that means, do you mean in her own house, or does she carry spread around with her?)
She's a chain smoker - she's going to have to spend a lot of time on her own.
Wall paper and cinema - I'm totally with her on those, both make me feel funny.

Quirks or ND?

Oh for fuck's sake. Give it a rest.

I was fully behind the increase in awareness of ND and mental health conditions but think in some ways, the pendulum has swung too far.

People still have personalities, characteristics, quirks, habits and so on.

I like it how people are jumping to conclusions lol

I'm quite particular about things. Especially preference around plates, mugs and cutlery (although I let visitors use them!). I value alone time too otherwise I get overwhelmed, I'm introverted so need to decompress alone.

Does she live by herself?
I think people who live by themselves and don't socialise much or have other people in their homes much often develop their own habits which other people see as eccentric but is just their own way of doing things.
Do you really need to label her?

Could be either or neither or both, lol. People can be quirky for many reasons. Why?

It does sound like an anxiety thing to me. All these things make her feel safe. Ironically the smoking too. It could be ND but it could just as easily be past trauma. Have you asked her about them?

Could be either. Why does it matter?

My sister has been diagnosed with AuADHD and I don't know if it was self diagnosed or by the NHS.

Since I've become a mum I have had concerns about my over stimulation to stuff that never bothered me before - eg I walk around with slippers on downstairs as can't stand the laminate as it is often dirty. Noise. Etc

She dismisses everything. Including one time we were in the supermarkets and I said I needed to buy laxatives.... She's just weird like that

Does she have a few siblings or is she the youngest, OP?

My mum was the youngest of 5, grew up poor and had a few funny quirks that I put down to her upbringing.

Poor family yes. Her and her four produced 30 children between them....

Considering I've just had a conversation with with an acquaintance who thinks her nephew must be ND because he needs alone time and doesnt want other people playing with his toys, or touching his food, honestly at this point I dont know. I thought this person would be smart enough to recognise that her whole family are noisy extroverts who are in each other's pockets and operate on a 'whats yours is mine' policy, but she is oblivious. She thinks they are normal and he's not. I never normally doubt people but the conversation shocked me a bit, I tried to suggest he was just a bit of an introvert who maybe didnt like the idea of other people breaking his toys or putting dirty hands in his food and she looked at me like I was mad.

As an AuDHD woman (diagnosed through the NHS): these are just quirks.
Having a few little quirks/preferences does not suggest ND.

Current discourse, especially social media accounts that bang on about “lesser known signs,” seem to have reinforced an idea that being slightly introverted, preferring a certain spoon, or disliking certain sounds are clear evidence that somebody is almost certainly autistic/ADHD…even when these are the only ‘signs’ the person has and there is absolutely nothing else to suggest this.

If it helps your diagnosis at all, some wallpaper patterns make my eyes go funny. I have a preferred small plate for portion control, and eating too much at a meal makes me uncomfortable. I can get a bit 'funny' in the cinema with the loud volume and intense large images. I love to walk and sit outside by myself. I don't smoke and will use any mug. I'm not ND. I would say though, if she's a smoker and her appetite is decreasing and she's very full after eating only a little, gets light headed, and this is newish, a chat with her GP wouldn't go amiss.

If your sibling has been diagnosed AuDHD then it will have come from somewhere. That's what the NHS paediatrician kindly pointed out to me and DS's dad at his assessment! So actually quite possible your mum is autistic.

Yes!

People seem to focus on really peripheral behaviours that some ND have, but also so does the majority of the population if taken in isolation or small grouping, rather than the actual core symptoms that make a diagnosis.

Especially when it comes to women and girls.

So not liking tight clothes, the feeling of hard fabrics like denim, not liking itchy wool, labels in clothing that irritate, clothes around the neck for example becomes potentially 'sensory issues' suggestive of ASC rather than the reality that most people don't like uncomfortable clothes!

But the OP says she's unsure if her siblings has been diagnosed by the NHS or another practitioner or has self-diagnosed.

They don't know what causes autism. It can often be multi generational and not always.

Yeah we have all been emotionally neglected which I think forms alot of my families issues.

Thanks.

Thanks.

She's got weird behaviour but I think she does it to push people buttons/toxic environment rather than autistic