Page 2 | Quirks my mum has

BeTaupeShaker · 2025-08-04T11:39:58+00:00

She has 20 mugs that's are "hers' that no one else is allowed to use. Own small dinner plate, maybe for portion control I don't know. Has to served her dinner on her plate, not an issue if we go out but she does always say she eats too much and sore stomach. Own butter (although it's vegetable spread lol). Constantly walking of by herself to smoke and be by herself. Went to a caravan and she would just sit outside chain smoking. Had to change wallpaper (type you paint over) as it was patterned and made her eyes funny. Cinema makes her feel light headed. Quirks or ND?

Nn9011 · 04/08/2025 14:01

It sounds very much like autism and given you have a sibling that has been diagnosed as autistic it is likely she inherited it from your mum.
For the people saying that having one or more of these traits doesn't make you ND are right but the point is when you have someone who has a specific special interest, rules around food, safe cutlery/plates/drinking cups, struggles with sensory input, it's the totality of these symptoms that makes it different.

You say she can be difficult to deal with and you think she might just want to annoy people, I think it would be good to understand how generational trauma works. Autism is highly genetic, women historically have not been considered to even be possible to be autistic or have to display high support needs for it to be recognized. This creates women who need to learn to cope, don't even understand themselves which can create toxic coping mechanisms and when you are passing this down it creates a difficult environment.

Original poster

BeTaupeShaker · 04/08/2025 14:02

Nn9011 · 04/08/2025 14:01

It sounds very much like autism and given you have a sibling that has been diagnosed as autistic it is likely she inherited it from your mum.
For the people saying that having one or more of these traits doesn't make you ND are right but the point is when you have someone who has a specific special interest, rules around food, safe cutlery/plates/drinking cups, struggles with sensory input, it's the totality of these symptoms that makes it different.

You say she can be difficult to deal with and you think she might just want to annoy people, I think it would be good to understand how generational trauma works. Autism is highly genetic, women historically have not been considered to even be possible to be autistic or have to display high support needs for it to be recognized. This creates women who need to learn to cope, don't even understand themselves which can create toxic coping mechanisms and when you are passing this down it creates a difficult environment.

She's fine eating out. She just likes to be quirky at home

OP posts:

ThisSharpFox · 04/08/2025 14:03

Nn9011 · 04/08/2025 14:01

It sounds very much like autism and given you have a sibling that has been diagnosed as autistic it is likely she inherited it from your mum.
For the people saying that having one or more of these traits doesn't make you ND are right but the point is when you have someone who has a specific special interest, rules around food, safe cutlery/plates/drinking cups, struggles with sensory input, it's the totality of these symptoms that makes it different.

You say she can be difficult to deal with and you think she might just want to annoy people, I think it would be good to understand how generational trauma works. Autism is highly genetic, women historically have not been considered to even be possible to be autistic or have to display high support needs for it to be recognized. This creates women who need to learn to cope, don't even understand themselves which can create toxic coping mechanisms and when you are passing this down it creates a difficult environment.

No it doesn't.

What about the vague information that OP has mentioned correlates wirh diagnostic criteria for Autism? Either DSM V or ICD 11?

Please tell me.

And just to point out again, that you and a PP have terrible comprehension skills as OP said her sibling had been diagnosed with Autism but OP didn't know if that was an actual diagnosis or self-diagnosed.

Winter2020 · 04/08/2025 14:08

Imagine Autism/ADHD as a spectrum, for a very simplistic example imagine a ruler running from whatever is the opposite of Autism (perhaps not autistic for this purpose) to profoundly autistic, or for more nuance a globe shape encompassing spectrums of Autism, ADHD, introversion and whatever other personal characteristics.

The place on the ruler (or the parts of the globe) where someone tips over from "not autistic" into "autistic" are an entirely man made construct.

So, for example, it could be easy to get a diagnosis of autism for someone with echolaic speech, lines up toys, still in pads as an older child but even experts could disagree about whether someone should have a diagnosis if they are in a grey area.

Personally I think that autism/ adhd are not one thing but many things. I imagine this like someone could have a presentation of a "sore leg" but this could be caused by tens if not hundreds of different things.

I think presentations of autism could be caused by thousands of genetic variances, environmental factors/pollutants, social environmental factors, trauma etc.

Viewed from this perspective it is quite subjective whether someone in the grey area is "autistic" or "not autistic" and whichever side they fall on those people are just variations of "normal".

Personally I don't particularly believe in neurodivergent/ neurotypical - I think we are all complex mixes and we would be better off thinking about people who cope well with societal expectations and people who find it more difficult to manage societal expectations.

Questions to consider for your mum are:
Would a diagnosis improve her life?
Would medication (with or without a diagnosis) improve her life?
Would any other intervention such as therapy be welcome or helpful?
Can your mum's need for alone time/certain rituals be accommodated to make your mum more comfortable?
Is she happy as she is or does she want to change?

** If too long didn't read: if you mum is happy let her get on with it. If your mum thinks a diagnosis could improve her life ask her to see her GP about this.

mumda · 04/08/2025 14:14

I have a lot of mugs.
I wonder if people judge me for it?

I am not precious about any mugs - although I avoid giving one of them out as I'd be a bit sad if if got broke.

It does mean I can open the cupboard and pick the right mug to make someone smile.