Why doesn’t my partner care?

[30Days1]

Fed up and miserable.

I had an ERCP yesterday, told him I didn’t wanna go on my own. This is following on several incidents of a blocked bike duct that have had me yellow and sat in A&E completely alone for hours at a time.
He went out drinking straight from work on Friday night and didn’t even come back til 11am. Slept til 7pm and went back to bed at 9pm and is still asleep, hasn’t even asked me if I’m okay or apologised. Nothing.

His friend text him saying he’d had a car accident on New Years Day and he rushed to the local hospital to sit with him for 6 hours. Yet he didn’t even offer to get me a taxi yesterday. I had to get the fucking bus absolutely groggy and ill off the sedative.

This has been going on for years, I pay all the bills, he doesn’t do anything for me, puts me right at the bottom of his priorities, talks to me like shit etc.

He’s been brought up by selfish people so is it genetic. Is it abuse. I don’t know. My head’s absolutely a mess. We’ve been together 8 years. All of my 20’s.
AIBU to think he’s out of order.

Don't waste one more day with this horrible person. Stop wasting your young life with him. Your life will be soooo much better without him. Do not overthink it - just do it!

Thank goodness you've seen the light. If one of my daughters was in a relationship like this, I'd be absolutely gutted.

Please come back when you've sent him on his way, so that we can cheer for you.

Good grief OP don't waste another minute wondering why he doesn't give a shit about you.

Get him out of your home and don't date anyone until you've had some therapy to uncover why you've allowed yourself to be used by such a waste of space for so long.

Get him out and get some MH help.

Seriously, tell me where you are and I'll come and kick this fucking mooching bastard out for you.

He’s love bombing you to keep you in your place.
Don’t let him, he won’t change, it will get worse.
You owe him nothing but you owe yourself everything.
If you can’t do this alone ask a friend to help you with it. You are so, so young and have your life ahead of you.
Don’t leave it any longer or you will find yourself trapped forever.
Be brave, be strong, be free!

I am a chap , put all his clothes in a bin bag and put him in the shed or throw him out not worth keeping ,he has no respect for you . Or put a plastic sheet on the bed wait untill he is asleep pour a bucket of cold water over him about 3.00 am , all the best as he is a partner throe him out one cold wet night

I am a doormat. And a people pleaser. I blame my mum as she was an absolute cow to me throughout my childhood.

Im going to tackle this situation tomorrow. I might just rant here. I can’t do it today as I’m shattered from yesterday’s procedure and I just can’t be arsed with him at all. He got up at half 12, ate a McDelivery then went back to sleep.
I’ve not said a word to him. I don’t want to speak.

Don’t be that doormat Op get out while you are feeling all empowered! Learn to love yourself you sound lovely. Get yourself a new place on your own, and do not tell him your new address.

That's dreadfull you needed support shame on him

Please do not forget this feeling by tomorrow LEAVE HIM, have your lovely spa day, your new life will be SO much better x

I rent. I’m the sole tenant. He’s not on the tenancy

That's grand, it means he has no legal right to be in your property. You can ask him to leave immediately.

He couldn't make it any clearer he doesn't give a fuck about you.

Hope you're feeling ok.

The question really is, why are you putting up with this shit op. I would suggest you stop doing so, raise your bar, and get rid of this leech. He’s adding nothing positive to your life. I hope you feel better soon (I also hope you feel single soon, believe me your life and health will improve).

We are here for you.
If you have the strength to lose that weight, you definitely have the strength to lose the burden of this selfish prick.
You are much stronger than you realise.

He doesn’t love you or respect you, because you don’t even love or respect yourself.

Do not waste the best years of your life on this toad. Get rid immediately and learn to love and respect yourself before considering a relationship.

I'd love to see his face when you kick him out OP. Don't argue with him, don't listen to any of his bullshit. Please, please don't backtrack. Just get rid and embrace freedom. You've got so much going for you, make the most of it. Life's too short to live in misery. My mum was controlling too and it had such an impact on me in relationships, but please seize the moment.

If you suspect for one moment that he will get nasty when you throw him out, don't hesitate to call the police prior to showing him the door.

You can throw him out if he isn't on the tenancy. You will feel much happier (and richer) when you have got rid of him. He brings nothing to your relationship and he makes you feel like shit.