Has behaviour of kids got worse or is it just harmless?

[Ihatemyneighb]

Genuinely interested what are your thoughts? I’m quite strict with my kids and I nip any bad behaviour straight away. My issue is I see neighbourhood kids just getting away with lots of things and just being left unsupervised at times. Just for context we live in a well thought of middle class area where there’s many professional people. We previously lived in a considered poor and disadvantaged area but my own experience was that the parents seemed to keep the kids in check and I didn’t see any kids bothering anyone. I feel the area now parents and kids seem to be very entitled! Anyone else experience this?

Sounds to me like you're PERFECT and everyone else is BAD for unspecified reasons.

I’d agree with you. I work in schools and the behaviour of some kids I’d describe as feral at times. And yes to entitlement from kids and parents. But to be fair, it’s some , not all, but I feel sorry for the good kids who have to witness bad behaviour daily.

As a teacher - Worse. Much much worse

I get harassed by some of the local children. They make my life miserable.
I'm in my 70s but they honestly have absolutely no respect. I do think that is a lot to do with aging being seen as a crime in society now.

Sorry to hear this. It’s definitely not aging as I’m in my 30’s and feel the same way. There is another group of kids - they don’t bother me but I’m shocked that the parents just let them roam without supervision. One of them I know is 3 years old as they in same nursery as my niece. They are literally out all day I feel is very neglectful. I don’t allow my kids to roam the neighbourhood but here it seems so normal I’m wondering whether it’s just normal.

@Smallchangebigstep are you getting any help? Have you spoken to the parents?

If a child of 3 years old is out all day unsupervised, that needs reporting as it’s dangerous.

This has been an off and on problem for years and there has been police involvement, school involvement and the antisocial behaviour unit of the local council involvement at various times. I don't know the parents - I'm an incomer and I've only been here coming up for 5 years. Which actually is also part of the problem because I'm seen as not belonging.

The most helpful person has been the community police officer who is based at the local secondary school. He knows most of the local children and is really good at his job.

i agree. But when I’ve spoken to other neighbours (my 2 friends, not parents of these kids) they are saying it’s fine and it’s a safe neighbourhood. My DH also agrees and said when they were kids they were out all day. The 3 year old is with an older sibling from what I can see. There about 8 kids in total with different ages. They’ve knocked on my door to get my kids to join them but I haven’t let them off with them. I’m not posting this thread to sound like the perfect mother as one ridiculous poster suggested, I have many flaws! But keeping my kids safe is my number one priority. I feel uneasy seeing the things I see in my neighbourhood.

I’m glad you have support from community officer. What are these brats doing to you? Can you try and make friends with other residents as this might help?

What kind of things do you see that bother you? Can you be a bit more specific?
Do you live on a cul de sac?

Middle class parents are so much worse because they can't be bothered and are completely disengaged, those are the kids who are always on screens. I've also noticed this on holiday as well

Kids just running into the road - Ive heard someone beep the horn a few times as kids just zoom up and down scooters without checking the road. I came out one time and the driver angrily asked me if these are my kids (like all 8 are mine!) I said no and he told me a little girl just zoomed by on her scooter and he nearly hit her. I had a word with the kids and explained they need to look before crossing.

Not all children obviously, as there are many parents who do still parent well, but generally I'd say yes, behaviour is a lot worse. I blame a lot of it on so called "gentle parenting" and lack of discipline. People shoving their kids in front of screens instead of parenting them. Lack of interaction, encouraging their imaginations or independent play.

Kids today know from a young age that they can get away with so much and not be touched. I'm in the South East and we have the groups of boys going round on their bikes, doing wheelies in the middle of the road, holding up traffic and terrorising people. Girls are no better and you get gangs of thuggy teenagers terrorising shopkeepers, knowing the police will do little to stop them. The latest trend amongst some is them getting catapults and killing and maiming local wildlife. They seem to get a real kick out of it, and we know where that can lead.

There seems to be an increasing number of threads on here of parents of teenagers who are out of control - common theme seems to be up all night on the Internet/ PlayStation, smoking weed and sleeping all day, being violent or threatening to their parents and refusing to goto college or hold down a job etc.

If it's a cul de sac, which I suspect it is, kids should be able to do that imo. Drivers should drive with appropriate caution.
We have a car problem, not a child problem.

My point was that you had given zero examples. You've now given 2, neither of which I've seen in my area as a general thing to comment on. If I did see it:

1. 3yo out unsupervised - report this one to police immediately.
2. Older kid running out in the road once - yes, terrifying, but some parents care less until one of the kids actually gets hit. I would inform the parents that their child was almost hit, but notbing else you can do except keep your own kids in.

I’m not trying to sound like a perfect parent as I said before I have my flaws but this is exactly what I mean! Little kids do grow into teenagers. I just don’t see how the lack of parenting now will help as they get older. I feel the parents in this area don’t give a shit what they’re kids are doing, the times I’ve let my kids play with them I’ve also gone with them! But it was upsetting for me that the little ones especially were trying to get close to me and were talking non-stop, you can see the parents don’t get involved with them which I find sad. There were lots of fighting amongst them too which I had to sort out. I have no issue with the kids playing and making as much noise as they want but there was no one checking in and seeing if their kid was okay,

i think so many parents are far too hands off, shrug shoulders, cannot work out how to control their offspring's behaviour. think it must be due to some diagnosis
dont seem to have any common sense.
is it information overload? and just overwhelmed and give up?

i agree, it is disengagement
makes me so worried when i see little children walking beside the road with their parents seemingly completely oblivious to them

I can’t go into too much detail but in my line of work we have to deal with cases of peer-on-peer abuse. That’s what worries me the most. Parents are not aware of this, even with this group there are much older kids and very young ones. That’s why I think I’m being over protective because of what I know from first hand experience. Plus the fact the parents are not checking on them.

Every generation since the beginning of time has asked this question about the next generation of kids.