Silly to get guilt over this?

[Lilaaacslavender]

Long story short - we had a day out planned to a national trust site today. We're membersl went on a last minute night out last night (fine btw not bashing him aha!) But got in later than expected and from what I csn tell when he got in he will probably be slightly hungover today lol

We planned to go early get there for opening at 10 which we usually do so we can get a good space have a picnic packed lunch and get as much time there as possible

But also, my 3yo and 1yo were sleeping a bit light last night and have woke early. They were both up a little bit. So they're going to be tired

Eldest probably wouldn't nap on way there but on way back would have a danger nap but a short one as its not a major drive away so hed be a bit crabby and probably crabby there as we'd have to go later

I was going to suggest either I take them tomorrow (im part time) or we go next weekend. The weather looks brighter too

I feel guilty whenever I rearrange plans? My kids are young and if I explain to 3yo why we've changed plans hes usually okay if hes had his mind set on it! And last Monday we went to a national trust site, they have 3 days in nursery and eldest does swimming a weeknight, we went to a play centre Friday and eldest has football on saturday so we do always do things!

They're both so young and I can assess when a day out may go slightly awry if theyre both over tired and I think we can do something low key, and see family (DH has a big side so visiting people usually takes half a day ahah)

And i need to not worry and get like this because we do a lot and like when it goes to tbe kids going to school in the summer holidays they'll be off for 6 weeks everyday I wont be able to take them on outings everyday

I don’t understand-why would you not go? You say it’s not a long way.

Im waiting and seeing mainly but this one does get full and as DH wont be yp for us to get there handy 1) car space is an issue 2) kids will probably be a bit tired by the time we go and its not far its about 40 min drive but it was more the worry we'd go and the kids wouldnt enjoy as much as they haven't slept great

And again thats an issue worrying thay a day wont be 100% perfect and will end up with tantrums etc probably just need to go and accept that'll happen sometimes

What time would you need to set up off? 9ish? Is your husband still flat out? Can you not wake him up at 8.30?

If you live anywhere near me I wouldn’t be going for any picnics. It’s a grey day and it’s about to start raining. Reschedule for a sunny day. Is there a something else you could do instead?

Yep he is and he came in at 2am lol so I feel waking him for 8.30 may be a challenge!🤣

I mean realistically this is open all year if I rearrange its not the worst thing. I'd take the kids out myself today the local park / swimming etc. They never go without

I just always feel bad if we aren't jam-packed busy all day? Im not sjre why

Its very grey here and just checked met office and it says chance of rain today and tomorrow. So maybe next Friday onwards js a better call

My backup plan is run errands (just need to get gift bag and little something for aunty birthday) swimming / local park! And see DH family

But if he wakes soon and js very bright we could go lol! I will just have to see

Just need to deal with being guilty for plans not being exact sometimes and them changing

Lose the guilt. Who do you think will feel bad here if you change plans? Not the kids, unless ASD + (I have two with ASD and mine would always prefer lower stakes closer to home no crowds outings). Also trust your instincts on how it will play out if you go re tiredness / tantrums etc. I was always sorry when I didn’t trust mine. Reschedule, do something else and let everyone have the v low key day it sounds like they need. Tiredness is a thing that it doesn’t always make sense to power through especially not with small ones.

You’re members, you can go any day. It doesn’t matter in the slightest. The kids won’t care/notice (if I told mine it was Christmas tomorrow they’d believe me). Go with the flow and chill! X

I totally get the mum guilt. I always feel like we should be doing something, and feel bad if plans change. But actually I’m 38 weeks pregnant and so have been doing a lot more stuff at or near home this summer holiday so far. Lots of trips to the local park for example, and my daughter isn’t bothered in the slightest. It’s funny the pressure we put on ourselves - constant day trips definitely wasn’t a thing when I was little!

It sounds like your kids have plenty of fun, so don’t feel bad about rescheduling. It’s grey here and due to rain so we’re probably having a cosy day in.

I have a 5, 3 and 1 year old so I absolutely get where you are coming from. Most important factor for whether a day out is a success or not is how I am feeling. If I’m feeling up for it, looking forward to it and enthusiastic they generally follow along with my mood and even if they don’t I’m able to breeze through any minor challenges that they may throw up.

If I’m feeling irritable, tired and frustrated that my plans have been thwarted then no matter how the kids behave the day will be a disaster 🤦‍♀️ so if you’re thinking this trip will not go well I’d just reschedule for another day and do something that feels manageable today.

I also rarely tell my kids any plans we have in advance and will usually tell them that morning what our plan is for the day. Avoids a lot of tantrums and disappointment in the long run!

If you’re members and you’re not going to lose any money, then just rearrange.

It sounds like none of you are up to it.

Just have a chilled out day.

Kids don’t need to be constantly doing planned activities.
Playing with their toys inside is fine.
If they need to burn their energy then take them to the park or just run about in the garden.

It's not good to have to have a jam packed schedule, I'm not sure why you feel guilty? Your children are very little, can't you just have a lazy day at home? You don't have to do anything - just play with the kids and you can put a big blanket on the floor and have a lounge picnic! My kids used to love that 😊

It’s important for children to have some downtime. It’s also important to children to learn to entertain themselves- I think that filling every moment with activities will backfire when your children are older.
Give yourself a break.

That was a very long way of writing, don’t really feel like going anymore so is it ok to cancel. No point in going if you don’t want to - maybe see if you can conceal the ticket so others can go instead but don’t overthink it. Just do something else today and go another day

Yeah you need to try and chill out about that. Kids that age do not give a single shit what they’re doing. Puzzles ar home would be just as entertaining if you’re both present with them.
Might Be better to stop telling 3yo what your plans are until you’re actually getting ready to go through. If he’s like mine he will remember it and kick off (even if he doesn’t actually care).

If they've not slept well and aren't as likely to enjoy it, I'd feel more guilty dragging them out because it wouldn't be for their benefit anyway!
It sounds like a nice family day at home with a trip to the shop and park after the lunchtime nap is just what would be best for everyone.

I'd give it a miss but don't feel any guilt

The best gift you can give a child is boredom and ability to cope with it. Not every opportunity has to be filled with activity. Run your errands, have a quiet day it won't harm the kids, let them explore at home!

You don't need to feel any guilt about the activity you're not doing, at 3 and 1 you just need to sell the alternative activity.