Page 2 | Why do people have kids just to complain about them all the time?

Whattodo76 · 2025-08-02T20:56:04+00:00

The constant complaining about how hard it is, how much work it is, how expensive they are etc etc etc

CrispieCake · 02/08/2025 22:34

Fragmentedbrain · 02/08/2025 22:33

Increasingly they aren't

https://theonion.com/study-finds-american-women-delaying-motherhood-because-1847112786/

Maybe the secret's out?

This could be the last generation of women to have kids.

HateMyselfToo · 02/08/2025 22:35

Because you've no idea what it's really like until you have them, by which point as its's too late.

What do you want them to do, shove them back in?

Lemniscate8 · 02/08/2025 22:35

I know what you mean OP, and not specifically on mumsnet - a lot of parents speak as if having children is a nuisance and a disadvantage, and really dont seem to have the attitude of love and appreciation that you would expect. I don't know if this is a recent thing. I wish people who didn't want children didn't have them. unwanted children, or children who feel unwanted are unhappy, and very costly to society and the environment

Fragmentedbrain · 02/08/2025 22:36

CrispieCake · 02/08/2025 22:34

Maybe the secret's out?

This could be the last generation of women to have kids.

Show quote history

Well the small number who like it will presumably start to dominate the population since they are the ones passing on their genes while the rest of us are having a cocktail down the Everyman

Firefly1987 · 02/08/2025 22:37

HateMyselfToo · 02/08/2025 22:35

Because you've no idea what it's really like until you have them, by which point as its's too late.

What do you want them to do, shove them back in?

Most people wouldn't listen to others warning them how hard it is. Everyone thinks they'll be the ones to ace it.

CrispieCake · 02/08/2025 22:41

Lemniscate8 · 02/08/2025 22:35

I know what you mean OP, and not specifically on mumsnet - a lot of parents speak as if having children is a nuisance and a disadvantage, and really dont seem to have the attitude of love and appreciation that you would expect. I don't know if this is a recent thing. I wish people who didn't want children didn't have them. unwanted children, or children who feel unwanted are unhappy, and very costly to society and the environment

The problem is pensions.

If it's only the people who REALLY, REALLY want kids and are great parents who have them, who will pay for our pensions?

Lots of kids have grown up with parents who are not the greatest or who are somewhat equivocal about them, and ok, it's not great, but they've done ok.

There aren't that many fantastic parents out there. Most of us fall short in one way or another.

TinyTeachr · 02/08/2025 22:44

I love my children dearly. I don't go on about that much for two reasons.

It doesnt make good conversation- it would be boring a repetitive at best, and probably smug and irritating. Boasting is not a very English thing.

Also, I don't NEED to discuss it. I can enjoy it without assistance. For example, my eldest potty trained incredibly easily. Dry at night at 2 and a quarter and literally never had an accident day or night from 2y5mo. As it was so easy, I didn't have any questions to ask other friends who had potty trained, or any need to start a thread on mumsnet. But my middle two.... christ. I think my house will smell of wee forever. They are nearly 5 and although they don't have proper accidents in the day their pants smell by evening from sneaky drops and they have to be woken at night for a wee or they just sleep through pissing all over their sheets. THAT I have discussed (and moaned about) with several friends and mumsnet. Because I need help with it!

I'm sure that most people love and enjoy their children most of the time. But that's just not what they talk about. In the same way as people don't talk about how great their DH is, or that they have an amazing house, or that they are really happy with their figure and health.

Results9 · 02/08/2025 22:47

Because it actually looks relatively easy until you do it? I was NAIVE. I mean I love her to pieces but jfc, I was naive.

R0ckandHardPlace · 02/08/2025 22:49

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/08/2025 22:01

They annoy us, then they grow up

…and continue to annoy us from a distance, which isn’t as intense.

Lemniscate8 · 02/08/2025 22:50

CrispieCake · 02/08/2025 22:41

The problem is pensions.

If it's only the people who REALLY, REALLY want kids and are great parents who have them, who will pay for our pensions?

Lots of kids have grown up with parents who are not the greatest or who are somewhat equivocal about them, and ok, it's not great, but they've done ok.

There aren't that many fantastic parents out there. Most of us fall short in one way or another.

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You dont have to be great, fantastic, or whatever. You just have to make your kids feel loved and wanted and they understand you did your best even if you were not perfect

Firefly1987 · 02/08/2025 22:56

CrispieCake · 02/08/2025 22:41

The problem is pensions.

If it's only the people who REALLY, REALLY want kids and are great parents who have them, who will pay for our pensions?

Lots of kids have grown up with parents who are not the greatest or who are somewhat equivocal about them, and ok, it's not great, but they've done ok.

There aren't that many fantastic parents out there. Most of us fall short in one way or another.

Show quote history

Poor kids-only brought into the world to pay for pensions!

stayathomer · 02/08/2025 22:59

Before I went to work today I made sure the kids had breakfast, put on a wash, changed sheets on two beds, helped my youngest shower, put cream on my next eldest’s eczema and nagged and argued with them all about what they had to do today and went to work tired and not in the best mood.

Then I did a ten hour shift, came home EXHAUSTED, cleaned up a bit and we played board games, had a laugh and then we chatted and had the most satisfying funny chat before they went to bed. It’s hard but it’s amazing. They’re literally like my right arm. You have to bitch and moan because solidarity of how exhausting it is keeps you going, but it’s equally amazing (imo)

RedLightGreenLiiight · 02/08/2025 23:08

CrispieCake · 02/08/2025 22:41

The problem is pensions.

If it's only the people who REALLY, REALLY want kids and are great parents who have them, who will pay for our pensions?

Lots of kids have grown up with parents who are not the greatest or who are somewhat equivocal about them, and ok, it's not great, but they've done ok.

There aren't that many fantastic parents out there. Most of us fall short in one way or another.

Show quote history

A survivable state pension is pretty much a unicorn for anyone under the age of 55 these days. I'm not sure churning out more kids is going to help the situation within most of our lifetimes.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 23:18

steff13 · 02/08/2025 22:30

I mean, to be fair, you don't know how annoying they are until you actually have them. 🤷‍♀️

This 💯

Fragmentedbrain · 02/08/2025 23:20

RedLightGreenLiiight · 02/08/2025 23:08

A survivable state pension is pretty much a unicorn for anyone under the age of 55 these days. I'm not sure churning out more kids is going to help the situation within most of our lifetimes.

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Time to bring back chimney sweeps and mill workers with conveniently tiny hands for reaching into the machines!

RampantIvy · 02/08/2025 23:22

BallerinaRadio · 02/08/2025 22:27

Of all the obviously goady posts I've ever read this could quite possibly be the obviousest goadiest post in the history of goady posts.

Congratulations

I think the OP has a point. When I read posts from parents of large families complaining about the cost of school uniforms, school dinners, non uniform days etc I think "well, this is what you signed up for"

Fragmentedbrain · 02/08/2025 23:26

RampantIvy · 02/08/2025 23:22

I think the OP has a point. When I read posts from parents of large families complaining about the cost of school uniforms, school dinners, non uniform days etc I think "well, this is what you signed up for"

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I think having kids was a lot more natural and relaxed in the 80s/90s. The cost of things now that are "expected" is awful. School trips costing £1k or more at state schools. It shouldn't be allowed. I can see it would be a shock to some people (although I know it looks a nightmare so unsure why others don't - it's like waspi women but for offspring instead of quitting early).

ToKittyornottoKitty · 02/08/2025 23:30

Why have you come on a parenting site just to moan about parents OP? Everybody moans, you included, that’s life.

Icanttakethisanymore · 02/08/2025 23:39

Because no one knows ahead of time they are going to give birth to such little shits?

usedtobeaylis · 02/08/2025 23:41

Because it's hard work? It's not really that much of a mystery is it.

RampantIvy · 03/08/2025 06:59

Aspects like children's behaviour, health, personalities etc are an unknown quantity and I think it is fine to have a whinge about those.

Complaining about the costs is different. As I pointed out in a previous post this is something you sign up for.

On the "shall I have another child" threads the OP inevitably has preschool or primary aged children and it seems to be beyond their comprehension how expensive teenagers can be - clothes, mobile phones, laptops, university. These can be prohibitively expensive when you have to pay for four or five of them.

They aren't just nice to have either. A young person will need a laptop or something similar for homework. More and more these days work is submitted via the school portal instead of on a handwritten piece of paper.

Iocainepowder · 03/08/2025 08:12

Because they cause a lot of problems you can’t ever foresee.

LadeOde · 03/08/2025 08:52

Littletreefrog · 02/08/2025 21:59

Same as everything else.
I wanted a job but I complain about it.
I wanted a dog but I complain about it.
I wanted a husband but I complain about him.
I wanted kids but I complain about them.
I wanted a house but I complain about it.
And so on....

I wanted 'summer' but i complain about it
I wanted 'winter' but i complain abut it
I wanted friends but i complain about them
I want it to be Xmas but i complain about it
I love technology but i complain about it
and on and on and on...

It's not just the preserve of parents.

BlackCatGreyWhiskers · 03/08/2025 08:53

Littletreefrog · 02/08/2025 21:59

Same as everything else.
I wanted a job but I complain about it.
I wanted a dog but I complain about it.
I wanted a husband but I complain about him.
I wanted kids but I complain about them.
I wanted a house but I complain about it.
And so on....

Exactly my thoughts.

frozendaisy · 03/08/2025 09:19

Some rolls like complaining
there are many posts on here from people complaining about things they chose which are much more trivial than children OP