To be angry and upset

[Oldlady62]

I gave up work as it was stressing me out and I was getting sick. (Sepsis twice) as I was so run down.
We sat down with a financial adviser and it was decided that we were in a good financial position for me to retire.
Fast forward a year or so and my husband keeps making little digs about me getting a job.
Im 65 I have experience in caring but that's it. I have arthritis so wouldn't be able to go back to this line of work. I also have a few other medical conditions.
Today I said we needed something for the house and he said well get a job so you can pay for it then.
I gave him a stunned look and he left for work.
I know he works hard but I do absolutely everything in the house. Washing cooking cleaning gardening decorating etc etc.
I dont want to get a job if Im honest. I have a small income and pay for my own stuff like my phone car tax and insurance.
Ive paid for a LOT of stuff during our marriage but that get forgotten. Nearly every stick of furniture was bought by me.
I know Im dragging stuff up from year dot but Im just so angry and upset

It seems there is. It’s not a good marriage and riddled with mutual resentment. Sorry you’re feeling so low OP but it’s part of a pattern going on years and the change in dynamic with you not working will be exacerbating the existing issues. I hope things improve for you but if nothing changes nothing will change and the two of you sound stuck in a really bad cycle.

People keep saying to get a part time job but who is hiring 65 year old women with health issues and no experience in anything except care? Nobody…

She has no admin experience so they wont want her. Admin jobs go to people who know how to use IT suites and it doesn’t sound like OO has ever used a computer in a working capacity. She’ll be up against young women in their 20s/30s who were raised on computers, will stay longer, have fewer health issues and even university grads with the market as it is.

People are being unrealistic. I have a friend working in John Lewis whose retail colleague has a Masters degree an aero engineering fgs

Agree. I work in benefits and my caseload is absolutely full of people in their sixties who aren't really qualified to do anything much and they are just waiting get their state pension as they now there is little hope of employment.

What makes you say that? OP said nothing to indicate anything of the sort. She can be angry with him without hating him for goodness sake. Did you even read her last post? It seems they've worked it out, he just thought he was being funny and has emphatically agreed that she should not be working.

Going to the gym for maybe an hour a few days a week is in no way comparable to working at any job for 8 hours a few days a week.
She has no experience in admin. Nobody is going to hire a 65 year old to do a job she has no experience with and no skills for. What planet do you live on, because I'd like to move there. It sounds lovely.

OP this doesn't sound right to me.

He'd have to pay the bills even if you weren't there - couldn't any of us say that, including him about you? It sounds like financial responsibility is resting with him and you don't seem to appreciate that. I actually don't blame him for his comments if that's your attitude.

These are people who obviously don't work out, because they think a workout is comparable to working a full day.
Workouts, given you take enough time to recover from them, are actually energizing, whereas working at a job at the age of 65 can be incredibly draining, even if you don't have health problems.
She can't possibly be training multiple hours a day for the Iron Man triathlon in her condition, but that seems to be what these posters picture when they hear somebody is going to the gym. Smh.

"there’s certainly nothing preventing her getting a part time admin job"
oh right, there are hundreds of part time admin jobs available for 65 year olds with serious health conditions and no experience whatsoever.
TBH your comment is fucking insulting to people who work in admin, as well as being completely clueless.

So far from clueless that this comment really is quite funny. A large part of my previous job role was finding people who need jobs, with very little experience, jobs that work. Most admin jobs have very low necessary criteria & as such lots of companies (mine included, with government funding) put LOTS of those people through the very basic but recognised courses to be “up to speed” & apply. We did & that team still continue to in fact place not just hundreds but actually thousands of people with little to no experience into new careers & provide the training/guidance to get them there, of all different ages, skill sets, health, caring responsibilities etc.

It’s quite simple really, if you end up needing money, if OP’s husband decided he’s done paying, she will in fact need a job.

To posters who keep flogging this dead horse about OP getting a job, allow me to assist you to FTFT.

OP;
We had a chat and he said he was just being sarcastic and said no way am I getting a job.

Give it a rest. He clearly does not really want her to get a job but was just being twattish, thinking he was funny.

Wow. People show you who they are when the chips are down.

I would be extremely angry if my DH was using my illness to insult me. He's not funny, it's not an innocent joke.

I'd sell the sofa, dining table and tv, tell him your selling 2nd hand furniture as a new job. Two can act selfish and immature.

op. You must be due for your state pension within the next year if you are 65. That will make a big difference to your income. I am 65 and get my state pension at 66.

As a carer, there is money to be made caing for one peeson in their home.
My Aunt works a 12 hour shift, the elderly lady is sleeping a lot, she does some light cleaning, preparing meals, it's very relaxed, she mainly sits down reading to the lady.
Another lady comes to sleep over.

Yes I know someone who does this kind of caring work which is more what they call companionship work. She has arthiritis and claims disability benefits but can't live on this so does this kind of work on short term placements for example if an elderly persons family have gone on holiday for a couple of weeks. it works well for her because it's not strenuous and not all the time and is basically light duties, chatting etc.

The OP's background is care, there isn't a completely different job role available to the OP at 62. Do you honestly believe that with no experience you can easily find something when you are five years off retirement?

How entitled are you!

So you were stressed at work. So what? The solution is "get a much less stressful job" not "retire when I still have another two decades of life left in me and get DH to pay our bills while I spend 20 years pottering around"

Most people work and take care of the home. Very few people get to just look after the home.

Sepsis twice in 6 months is just awful.
Your husbands remark was plain nasty.
He needs to know that you will not tolerate bei g spoken to like that.
Arthritis is a very painful disease.
A sugar free, anti inflammatory diet has really eased my symptoms.

FFS! some of the replies on here 🙄

Retiring at 65 when you have major health problems (yes - sepsis is pretty major!!) is hardly retiring early. Presumably State pension will kick in next year anyway.

The long and short of it - the OP is married to a bit of a twat - who is trying to make her feel bad with his 'jokes'/ not kind.

And then she gets a pile on here. I hope you're all happy with yourselves

@Mrsttcno1 - you have a major issue with the OP retiring at 65.

Maybe try to calm yourself with some soothing music....

I truly don’t care what age anybody retires, it makes no odds to me whatsoever. OP’s husband, the one funding everything, is the one who has an issue with when she retired😂