To be irritated at being asked to give my pronouns?

[purpledaze24]

I work in a very “progressive” organisation who are constantly trying to be sooo pc about everything 🙄
Almost daily I have meetings with colleagues, clients, and people from other organisations. At the beginning of EVERY meeting my manager asks everyone to go round and give their pronouns. It’s SO annoying! Every single person is always the pronoun they look like, my work also has nothing to do with supporting trans people or anything related, many of the people I’ve known for years, yet she still makes us do this every single meeting!! AIBU to be unbelievably irritated (and actually kind of offended) by this?

On a slightly different topic, I was at a friend’s barbecue recently and there was a young woman there who asked what my pronouns were. I answered she/her through gritted teeth and she said back “I’m he/him” (!) She was (what I assumed) was a slightly boyish lesbian. She didn’t appear to be making any attempt to look like a man. She even had long hair. She was just wearing “boyish” clothes (but stuff I’d wear sometimes). I thought how annoying it must be to go through life constantly having to “correct” people. Am I being overly judgmental by being annoyed by this? Like it feels like she’s just making a total mockery of gender and actually if I was a genuine trans man who desperately wanted to be recognised as he/him I’d feel like she was taking the absolute piss!

It really bothers me when people describe this stuff as “left-wing”. It’s not left wing, it’s simply not indulging in silly, entitled idiots’ beliefs that are not rooted in any kind of reality. I’m liberal in every sense of the word: feminist, pro-immigration, pro LGB, pro abortion, basically almost every left-wing belief there is. I actively avoid right-wing people and conservatives and would be pretty horrified to be described as one. It’s pretty gutting that people who don’t subscribe to this ideology are labelled as right-wing just cos right-wingers happen to have the same belief on gender ideology

Yes it is weird that womens;' rights should be described as being right wing!

"I don't do that"

rinse and repeat.

I think I’d have to lean in to ‘Oh, I don’t do that dear. It’s disrespectful to talk about people in front of them. We were always taught, “Who’s she, the cat’s mother?”.’

Dear lord, this performative nonsense is ridiculous. I would have said "They're exactly as you would think" and engage no further.

Yep
Buuuttttttt in the circumstance watching the penny toggle the logic as it drops while the lightbulb flickering on and off would be funny.

And the more the denial the more "far-right" the person "becomes".

It’s pretty dismissive to say that pro abortion, feminism, pro LGB is the preserve of the left wing!
Perhaps if you didn’t avoid right wing people you’d discover they have an array of views and don’t actually espouse women in the kitchen churning out babies.
They probably all espouse personal responsibility and a small state.

Drives me mad. If I need to add them to my e-mail signature I might insist on; That/It.

If you comfortable to say ‘no thanks’ I would try that. I would HATE this myself and would be sitting there in an adrenaline fuelled panicky rage. I’d like to think I could politely decline - it’s never been put to the test though!

I’d put a en email into HR and ask them to review their policy around if this is acceptable.

say that you do not want to “out” yourself in public and others might not. It is fine if people want to state their pronouns when meeting you for first time, but for her to insist on it in open meetings is triggering for you

I’d also be pointing out it is creating a hostile environment for anyone who has gender critical beliefs that are now protected by law given recent court case.

or, if I was feeling less bolshy..I’d answer he/her/ze every single time. Even though I’m female, and you’re used to be called she etc. just to piss her off that you’re not taking it seriously. Feign innocents “but that’s how i identify today ” if she says anything. Keep a straight face. Don’t obviously take the piss. Just give bizarre pronouns and say something different at every time she says it. You will not be alone by being irritated by it.

If I was in a in person meeting with lots of people who had different pronouns to the obvious and they all stated them, I’d probably get mixed up and forget!

"Right-wing" is sex based ideology

In the terms of authority

I am who I say I am is "left-wing"
I get to tell you who I am and I can force your to comply is "right-wing"

The people who get hung up on left and right politics are bad/good fail to recognise that center gives a more stable political landscape. And that forcing a lable is forcing people to choose.

If forced I'd probably answer: private/protected

And see if the penny dropped...

Doesn’t matter which way you swing or male or female but some people get offended if you address them ‘wrong’

Yanbu @purpledaze24 the woman at the party was asking you so you would HAVE to ask her, or better, so she’d tell you anyway, even if you didn’t care/want to know

in future just say something like your pronouns are your own business. If I’m talking to you, I’ll address you as you and you’ll do the same, if you’re talking about me, I have no control whatsoever on what you say, anymore than you have on what I say. So let’s not go there eh?

…or… odfod for brevity

We need to normalise saying it's OK for them to be offended.

Stuff like this makes me glad I don't live in the UK (or in whichever other countries this nonsense is proliferating in)

We NONE of us have a right to not being offended

These people need to be offended about something. They need better hobbies

'' Same as last time you asked''

To be fair, it's quite widespread in English speaking countries and a lot of Europe.

Where do you live?

Threw me for a loop too. surely people would realise how derogatory “it” is. Even without the historical LGBT slur it was a terrible description used about people with profound disabilities to dehumanise them and to normalise abuse.

🍪

I read some advice on here to say “I’m not comfortable disclosing that at this time- I’m still processing and this makes me feel pressured into revealing something about myself I’m not ready to face” - or some such. Which works a TREAT.

I would just respond whatever you want them to be
.the whole thing is nonsense

This.
Have you asked why you are asked to give them? I can't see you being given an reasonable answer.