To ask neighbour to close curtains

[Handrearedmagpie]

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

I know, it's disgusting isn't it!!

i had a good laugh over this 😂😂🤣. So true!

People aren't twats for stating they would say no.

The OP needs to find a work around they can implement in their own home and also work on strategies to manage their child's behaviour. If they know the child will go to their bedroom window why are they not policing access to their room.

Yes, totally, I'd understand if it would cause an issue for someone in your house with their own SEN.

Well It's not unusual for people without any experience of children with SEN to just assume something would work, that won't ...

I don't think having your curtains open is tantamount to demanding the neighborhood stare into your house 24/7. Having your curtains open when it's light outside is not entitlement it's just living your life.

I would be happy to do it if I were asked but the chances that I would remember to do it every night are probably pretty slim.

'Every single day if their life'. Dramatic much!?!?!

🙄🙄🙄

What?

I don't need the definition, it's not me that's confusing ASK with DICTATE.

Yeh mate. That’s what the OP asked in her original post. She only changed it to asking for a week after reviewing replies.

But to point out ths obvious...if the TV is not being used then the blinds don't need to be closed to stop the OP's DS from having a meltdown.

If my neighbour asked, I think I'd be polite but in my head I'd be thinking "F off" and would consider how I diplomatically ignore this request.

Last thing I'm ever gonna do is have my neighbours dictate what I do in my own house.

Maybe look into blackout curtains.

You can say "I'd be polite and they could say no" as much as you want but it would be incredibly hard to say no to that request because of the fear of judgement (just look at the vile comments being made on here just because people might want autonomy over their own house). Even more so if that person happened to be ND themselves

And if he struggles that much with change then I'd be worried about how he would react to suddenly losing this part of his routine

And you don't think an 8 year old wouldn't just remove them??

And what if they were always necessary and you couldn't return to your preference?

You would start to resent them I'm sure

Not unreasonable op. Go across with some flowers and chocolates and ask to have a quick chat.

Id be more than happy to help if I was your neighbour. Parenting additional needs is super tough and anything to make it a bit easier for a parent

No she didn't!

she didn't define a time period in her OP, but that's NOT the same as 'every day of her life'

& must people shut their windiest dressings once it's dark anyway, which it will be at 8pm soon anyway.

How the fuck are black out curtains going to help? He's 8, he'll just open them!!

@Handrearedmagpie you should have posted this in the SEN section because clearly people cannot get their heads around SN. Lucky them huh!!

they wouldn't last a week!

Well that's not reality is it? He's not going to be obsessed with it for the rest of his life. He'll break the habit over winter (if she closes her blinds/curtains in winter as mist people do) if not before.

Possibly

We don't know

We don't know if opening the blinds again would start him off again either because it upsets his routine again

You don't ever close your curtains because you doesn't have them

And no, most people don't close their curtains when it goes dark. Some people do. I wouldn't say most do in my experience

Of course most people do.

You don't ever close your curtains because you doesn't have them

weird comment.

I wouldn't go over with flowers and chocolates. If my neighbour came to ask a favour bearing gifts, I'd feel like they're trying to manipulate me and that would just annoy me.

Why posters have to write rotten things like "I'd laugh in your face" astounds me. If they dont agree just say it but posting crap like that is vile.

Op, I hope you get sorted soon. It sounds unbelievably tough and its obvious you are trying to do right by your son xx

OP I would do this no problem and I think the vast majority of people would because most people in real life are nice. No harm in asking and as someone else has suggested, if you feel a bit unsure you could always post her a nice letter instead of knocking. I hope bedtime sorts itself out soon ❤️

Not in my experience

And it's not a weird comment to point out something you've literally told us

If you asked me I'd certainly consider the request.

My main concern would be that initial politeness would quickly dissipate, and if I were to forget, or fall asleep on the sofa etc. I'd be scolded or worse OR that having acquiesced to one request, loads more would follow.

I'm sure you're genuinely not like that, but there are other posts on this thread that make it quite clear how that could happen.

My only suggestion, which may not help at all, would be that if you have to keep a low level of light in the house anyway, could you plant some fast growing shrubbery out front to hide the street?

I do hope you find a solution, it sounds awful for you.