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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think men shouldn’t be allowed to express pro-life opinions?

160 replies

purpledaze24 · 31/07/2025 11:35

Was just watching (by accident, went down a bit of a rabbit hole!) a YouTube video of this infuriating American far-right man talking about how abortion shouldn’t be allowed (even in the case of rape). Watching it made me angrier and angrier. It’s bad enough hearing anyone bang on about banning abortion, but of course, everyone is entitled to an opinion. However, when it’s a man who has no clue what a woman’s body goes through, and has no regard for the giant responsibility and completely life-changing effect a baby has on a mother’s life (cos let’s be realistic, many fathers find it pretty easy to walk away or continue living life completely responsibly-free), I feel like, how dare he express these opinions, he shouldn’t have a say, it’s just not his place. AIBU or should men be allowed to express anti-abortion opinions? I’m not talking about men whose partner gets pregnant, I’m talking about politicians and men with power talking about banning abortion in general. Watching them talk about it gives me the ick

OP posts:
Original poster
purpledaze24 · 03/08/2025 11:23

@ThisTicklishFatball “Please, be more cautious about who you allow into your life, for everyone's sake.”
Errr thanks for the unsolicited lecture 🤣 but I’m not in any kind of pregnancy situation, if you actually read my post you’d see that I’m talking about a political issue not a personal one

OP posts:
Original poster
purpledaze24 · 03/08/2025 11:30

Newbutoldfather · 31/07/2025 16:28

So, a woman is allowed a strong opinion on whether complete strangers can circumcise their 5day old male baby and yet, 6 days prior, a man (potentially a partner) can have no say in whether a woman kills (and I think this is the correct word one day before birth) their baby (foetus)?

No inconsistency there?

And yes, if you want to argue that the law does not consider a foetus a person until the day of birth, the law also does not consider circumcision assault or genital mutilation.

Aside from all the other bizarre opinions in your post, abortion is not legal one day (or anywhere remotely close) to the day the baby is due for the vast majority of cases

OP posts:
FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 11:38

purpledaze24 · 03/08/2025 11:21

Your opinions are ridiculous. But….once again, as I have already stated, I am not talking about men who get their partner pregnant who then disagree with their choice to have an abortion. While ultimately it should still be 100% the woman’s choice, of course the father is entitled to an opinion and I recognise it can be difficult and there is a level of unfairness there. I am talking about men in positions of power and influence, like politicians, with large audiences, who speak generally (and influence people) about the issue of abortion and how “women should not be legally allowed to have them”. I don’t believe they have any right to publicly voice these opinions and potentially gain support for this ridiculous idea because they are charismatic, likeable personalities. It’s dangerous.

The particular man I was watching on YouTube was speaking about not allowing abortions in cases of rape. How would you feel if you got pregnant as a result of sexual assault at, say age 16? Or how would you feel if you had very safe, sensible, protected sex with your boyfriend at 16 and the condom broke? Your parents kicked you out and you had no way to support yourself or your child. You really think a young woman in this situation should be forced to put her body through a life-threatening process just to give birth to an unwanted child who she cannot provide for? Where’s the logic ??

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Specifically who said, 'women should not be legally allowed to have them”?

Original poster
purpledaze24 · 03/08/2025 11:42

FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 11:38

Specifically who said, 'women should not be legally allowed to have them”?

Show quote history

I think his name’s Charlie Kirk

OP posts:
JHound · 04/08/2025 01:54

ThisTicklishFatball · 02/08/2025 14:08

So you're saying men should have their freedom to choose taken away? The woman agreed to let the guy be intimate with her, and now she cries victim and wants to terminate what they created together without the man's consent? It's absurd.

Women can address the issue by being selective about their partners and avoiding casual encounters.

This might not be a popular opinion, but honestly, there are countless women who should be more careful about whom they choose to have children with. I understand that sometimes things happen despite good intentions, and I don't know the OP's exact situation, but having two kids by two different absent fathers doesn't reflect well. We all know women who've willingly had children with unreliable men who never intended to take responsibility for them. Please, be more cautious about who you allow into your life, for everyone's sake.

Be more careful about who you allow to stick their dick into you, for Pingu's sake.

Men can have all the freedom over their own bodies that they wish.

They should not have decision making authority over women’s bodies.

thepariscrimefiles · 04/08/2025 04:33

wavymavy · 31/07/2025 12:03

No. I think its an appalling state of mind to think men should not have pro-life views. The pro-life perspective, whether you agree with it or not, is about centring the life of the unborn baby (I'm talking about their perspective so using their language). Of course any human is entitled to a position on this.

All you are saying is that you are pro-choice as you think one life matters and that is the mother's.

Men are not excluded from debates on when life matters just because they are men, and ultimately this debate comes down to a decision on at what stage of human development you think a human life matters.

All humans are entitled to have a view on that and to enter into a debate on that.

Give me an example of a right-wing man who is an anti-abortion zealot to the point of not even allowing abortion in cases of rape that cares about and advocates for babies after they have been born. The late great George Carlin sums this up:

“Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.”

It's about controlling women.

MuckFusk · 04/08/2025 04:41

By shouldn't be allowed do you mean prevented legally from expressing opinions? If so, of course not. The should be free to express opinions for women to completely disregard. Fuck their opinions. All sorts of fools have the right to express their moronic opinions and they can fuck off too.
We don't need to be protected from asinine opinions. We can easily counter them and mock them.

MuckFusk · 04/08/2025 04:42

thepariscrimefiles · 04/08/2025 04:33

Give me an example of a right-wing man who is an anti-abortion zealot to the point of not even allowing abortion in cases of rape that cares about and advocates for babies after they have been born. The late great George Carlin sums this up:

“Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.”

It's about controlling women.

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💯%

MuckFusk · 04/08/2025 04:44

Goldeh · 31/07/2025 16:33

After a baby is born, both parents have parental responsibility and therefore each get to express their wishes on what they want for the child. This includes having a say over medical decisions.

Before a baby is born, the pregnancy is taking place in the woman's body and she therefore has autonomy over what happens to it.

What happens post-birth cannot be used as justification to override the right to bodily autonomy prior to birth.

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The fact that the principle of bodily autonomy needs to be explained to anyone is depressing.

MuckFusk · 04/08/2025 04:48

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2025 15:20

The problem is that there are only 6 countries in the world where sex parity, or just over parity, has been achieved in government. there are 20 countries where there are no women, or single figures, in government.

The idea that men expressing an opinion on this is anything other than harmful, has real-life consequences.

BTW I'm not advocating legally banning them. They just shouldn't have an opinion. Any decent man defers to the woman who is pregnant.

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Agree. It's a major red flag for coercive control if a man thinks he should have veto rights when you decide to have an abortion.

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