Page 4 | Holiday club - public toilets

Robynfaith198 · 2025-07-31T06:07:19+00:00

My little one year 2 attends a holiday club with some of his school friends at a leisure centre. They do lots of sports, cake making, bouncy castle etc. He LOVES it! He came home yesterday and said he went to the toilet on his own (lady waited near the main desk whilst he went in the toilet) and he said he had to go in the men’s (he’s used to coming in ladies with me which I understand he likely can’t do that without me there). Anyway he said when he went in there was a man having a wee at the urinal and he saw the man’s Willy whilst he was having a wee. (I obviously asked all the relevant safety questions and all seems fine aside from feels a bit weird when I wouldn’t send him in the men’s alone if we were out and about!) AIBU to think this is a bit wrong at a holiday club considering it’s like public toilets that perhaps the holiday club staff should check nobody is in there? Or wait right outside the toilet? Or let the kids use the disabled toilet? I don’t know if I’m being over the top 😅

modgepodge · 31/07/2025 20:21

Doesn’t matter how cheap the club is or where it’s held, they have to follow basic safeguarding principles and have a safeguarding policy. I’m shocked to hear a 16 year old and 3 under 16s are being left in charge of children and none of them have safeguarding training. I thought holiday clubs had to register with ofsted and this wouldn’t fly with them.

OP I think you’re right to be concerned. As a former teacher, I have gone in to mens toilets (after calling out first to give men a chance to let me know they’re there) before letting young boys go in alone. I don’t think it would be unreasonable for a holiday club leader to do this.

and I fully agree that an unaccompanied 6 year old boy is at more risk in a men’s toilet, than anyone is from an 8/9 year old boy being in a women’s toilet with his mum.

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 20:24

I’ve never actually come across a boy who looks more than 6 in the women’s loos. But if I saw an 8 year old, I’d be asking how old they were and once clarified 8 or above…. I’d be telling him to get the heck out of the women’s toilets, he has no business there. I’d be telling you if you feel has a disability preventing him from using the toilet alone you need a radar key. I’d then be reporting you to management and asking them to have a word with you.
If 10 or above I’d be reporting the incident to the police too.
So make sure you’re both prepared for the comments you’ll both be getting and potentially being banned.

Also the angry father who sends his 6 year old daughter into the toilets waiting outside to find your 8+ son coming out!

Still forget the rule book and girls dignity , cause kindness and basic regard doesn’t apply to them, just as a heads up of the reaction in real life.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/07/2025 20:45

* I’ll always protect my child FIRST!!*

good advice op. I think I shall do the same from now on for my daughters. By calling out every single male over the age of 8 in their female changing room who shouldn’t be in there.

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 20:55

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 20:15

Yeah, forget the rule book about using the right sex toilets by 8 and girls privacy and dignity. Feel the power. So kind. ❤️

Show quote history

Why are you saying this? He’s not 8, she said he’s Yr 2 which is 6 or 7. So your sarky comment is not warranted.

Original poster

Robynfaith198 · 31/07/2025 20:56

arethereanyleftatall · 31/07/2025 20:45

* I’ll always protect my child FIRST!!*

good advice op. I think I shall do the same from now on for my daughters. By calling out every single male over the age of 8 in their female changing room who shouldn’t be in there.

He’s not 8. He’s 6. And I’m not talking about changing rooms. I’m talking about toilets.

OP posts:

stichguru · 31/07/2025 20:58

I have sympathy with you for being concerned by this, but realistically I think you either have to chose a holiday club that

has some male staff
doesn't do trips out

While I might have taken my own 6 year old son into the ladies toilets, I can imagine that taking a bevy of them in would not be ok. Also, somewhere like a leisure centre won't have masses of toilets, if all the children from a holiday club have to go in the ladies' loos because the staff are female, that's not really fair on other ladies using the centre.

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 20:59

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 20:24

I’ve never actually come across a boy who looks more than 6 in the women’s loos. But if I saw an 8 year old, I’d be asking how old they were and once clarified 8 or above…. I’d be telling him to get the heck out of the women’s toilets, he has no business there. I’d be telling you if you feel has a disability preventing him from using the toilet alone you need a radar key. I’d then be reporting you to management and asking them to have a word with you.
If 10 or above I’d be reporting the incident to the police too.
So make sure you’re both prepared for the comments you’ll both be getting and potentially being banned.

Also the angry father who sends his 6 year old daughter into the toilets waiting outside to find your 8+ son coming out!

Still forget the rule book and girls dignity , cause kindness and basic regard doesn’t apply to them, just as a heads up of the reaction in real life.

Edited

Well OPs son is 6 so your unnecessarily aggressive post is irrelevant.

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 21:00

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 20:55

Why are you saying this? He’s not 8, she said he’s Yr 2 which is 6 or 7. So your sarky comment is not warranted.

Show quote history

I’m saying this because OP said forget the rule book about when children should use the correct sex toilets , implying she’ll be taking her son in when 8.

Original poster

Robynfaith198 · 31/07/2025 21:01

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 21:00

I’m saying this because OP said forget the rule book about when children should use the correct sex toilets , implying she’ll be taking her son in when 8.

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No I said this because people were saying age 6/7 was old enough to go in the male toilets alone etc. Anyway, debate over - it was sorted and everybody will have their own views on this! My son was happy today that’s the main thing!

OP posts:

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 21:02

I quoted the whole post, but really my comment was in response to:

sod what the rule book says as to when they should be going into the men’s toilets alone

Which is a pretty awful thing to write, and shows little empathy of girls. The rules are 8 almost everywhere.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/07/2025 21:03

@BundleBoogiedid you miss the context of ops comment saying she’ll forget the rule book and put her son first? The rule book being over 8s in their own sex.

MeganM3 · 31/07/2025 21:05

I wouldn’t like it if it were my kids.

Their holiday camp is in a sports facility too.. so now I’m wondering what their protocol is too

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 21:07

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 21:02

I quoted the whole post, but really my comment was in response to:

sod what the rule book says as to when they should be going into the men’s toilets alone

Which is a pretty awful thing to write, and shows little empathy of girls. The rules are 8 almost everywhere.

Edited

It also says nothing about boys using girls toilets. 🤷‍♀️.

And you are making quite a big leap from this situation which is PPs 6 yr old not being properly looked after at holiday club.

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 21:11

arethereanyleftatall · 31/07/2025 21:03

@BundleBoogiedid you miss the context of ops comment saying she’ll forget the rule book and put her son first? The rule book being over 8s in their own sex.

I haven’t missed anything.

Do show me where she specifically said she would take her son into the ladies.

Usernames post was unnecessarily aggressive and making all sorts of leaps into things that OP hasn’t even said.

DorothyWainwright · 31/07/2025 21:13

Yanbu.
Some holiday clubs are so bloody dodgy.

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 21:19

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 21:07

It also says nothing about boys using girls toilets. 🤷‍♀️.

And you are making quite a big leap from this situation which is PPs 6 yr old not being properly looked after at holiday club.

Show quote history

Okay…. The only logical explanation is you’ve read it as OP will be talking her son into the men’s toilets at 8. I have objections to this also, and again OP make sure you’re both prepared for angry reactions. She has no business in the men’s toilets.
Though I still don’t read it this way.

My response was about her rather disgusting comment about forgetting the rule book, even if you feel it’s a different demographic being affected, it’s still an awful thing to write to disregard men’s and boys dignity by her presence. And that she plans to do it! Not about her 6 year old now - though after finishing year 2, he could be almost 8, I’m sure OP would’ve got more accurate comments if she clarified almost 7 but it’s not relevant to my response to what she said anyway.

Perhaps OP can clarify whose dignity she’s disregarding in forgetting the rule book. All the same, sentiment stands.

VaccineSticker · 31/07/2025 21:38

neverbeenskiing · 31/07/2025 08:59

School safeguarding lead here. When we take children out on trips and they need to use public toilets, a member of staff makes sure there's no one in there before sending them in. If the male toilets cannot be checked (because there are no male staff) the boys use the womens toilets. This has been standard practice in all the primary schools I've worked in. I think it's reasonable to assume a similar arrangement would be in place for a holiday club that uses a venue open to the public.

I don't think that "all men are paedophiles", obviously. But I also don't see the sense in pretending that there are no potential risks to unaccompanied 7 year olds in public toilets. A parent is entitled to decide for themselves that they are happy to accept that level of risk, based on their own comfort levels and knowledge of their individual child. But staff working with children in a professional capacity would generally be expected to take a more conservative approach. There could be children attending the club who are particularly vulnerable due to additional needs or their lived experience. Current research suggests that 1 in 20 children have experienced sexual abuse, and we know this is likely to be underestimated. So there may well be children attending this club who have good reason to feel uncomfortable sharing a public toilet with an unknown adult with no familiar adult present, but are unable to articulate this.

The comments accusing OP's DS of "staring" at the man's penis are just odd. The fact that he told his Mum he saw it does not mean he was staring at it.

@Robynfaith198 this poster says everything you need to know on this.

ShiverMeLogs · 31/07/2025 21:39

OtterAnimagus · 31/07/2025 09:36

This is not possible everywhere. Busy public places, teachers can not possibly stop members of the public from using the toilets.

At Alton Towers for example the toilets are large blocks that are always busy and most have 2 doors in and out, this method would be completely unworkable there yet it was full of school trips at the start of the month.

Show quote history

Not many six and seven year olds going on school trips to Alton Towers though?

B1anche · 31/07/2025 21:45

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 20:24

I’ve never actually come across a boy who looks more than 6 in the women’s loos. But if I saw an 8 year old, I’d be asking how old they were and once clarified 8 or above…. I’d be telling him to get the heck out of the women’s toilets, he has no business there. I’d be telling you if you feel has a disability preventing him from using the toilet alone you need a radar key. I’d then be reporting you to management and asking them to have a word with you.
If 10 or above I’d be reporting the incident to the police too.
So make sure you’re both prepared for the comments you’ll both be getting and potentially being banned.

Also the angry father who sends his 6 year old daughter into the toilets waiting outside to find your 8+ son coming out!

Still forget the rule book and girls dignity , cause kindness and basic regard doesn’t apply to them, just as a heads up of the reaction in real life.

Edited

Oh get a grip! 😂😂😂

Purpleturtle45 · 31/07/2025 21:59

ToKittyornottoKitty · 31/07/2025 07:13

If you are sending him to a holiday club in a public leisure centre then it’s obvious the kids will use public toilets! Nothing wrong or inappropriate happened here. Pretty goady suggesting they use the disabled toilet.

Not necessarily. My local leisure centre has several toilet blocks one of which is closed to the public during holiday camps as it's for the participants only.

BundleBoogie · 31/07/2025 22:45

UsernameCreateded · 31/07/2025 21:19

Okay…. The only logical explanation is you’ve read it as OP will be talking her son into the men’s toilets at 8. I have objections to this also, and again OP make sure you’re both prepared for angry reactions. She has no business in the men’s toilets.
Though I still don’t read it this way.

My response was about her rather disgusting comment about forgetting the rule book, even if you feel it’s a different demographic being affected, it’s still an awful thing to write to disregard men’s and boys dignity by her presence. And that she plans to do it! Not about her 6 year old now - though after finishing year 2, he could be almost 8, I’m sure OP would’ve got more accurate comments if she clarified almost 7 but it’s not relevant to my response to what she said anyway.

Perhaps OP can clarify whose dignity she’s disregarding in forgetting the rule book. All the same, sentiment stands.

Show quote history

I’m very glad you are keen on children over the age of 8 being in the correct toilets for their sex and that the dignity of both sexes should be respected. I am too, but your post was jumping ahead quite a long way from anything OP has said she has done.

I really think you need to go back and read OPs posts again. She didn’t say that she was going to take her son into the men’s either - there are generally other toilets available. The main thrust of the ‘rule book’ comment seemed to be in response to PPs claiming that there is absolutely no issue with sending her 6 yr old son into the men’s on his own. I’m not sure why you think it was ‘disgusting’.

tellmesomethingtrue · 01/08/2025 00:30

REDB99 · 31/07/2025 08:05

This is a safeguarding issue so ignore posters who are saying it isn’t. Staff should actually be checking the toilets to ensure they are free of members of the public before allowing unsupervised children in. Or they should be staying in the toilet while the child goes. Some clubs have designated loo times where all children go (say before or after lunch) and ensure no members of the public are present at these times. I am DSL trained and this is standard practice. I’d speak to the staff and politely ask about SG procedures during toilet time. Sexual assaults happen in public toilets to unsupervised children.

I think the same as this. I wouldn’t want my child going into public toilets alone.