Feeling upset DH didn’t back me up over stranger comment

[LaurandEm]

We’re on holiday at the moment. I was with one of my DC walking back from the sea earlier and playfully tapped them on the back with the palm of my hand.

A man who was sat nearby saw and said ‘you can do that to me if you like’ - I walked past without comment.

Once I got back to DH and other DC I told him the comment I received and he shrugged his shoulders and said he didn’t see the issue.

Am I overreacting or would most men be a bit annoyed if a stranger commented in front of their DC that he’d like to spank their wife?!

What did you want him to do? Stomp over and give him what for?!

He didn't say he'd like to spank you though 🤷‍♀️

Maybe show a bit of empathy? Obviously men don’t have to regularly deal with unsolicited sexual remarks so don’t see the issue.

Why didn’t you tell the man not to speak to you like that?

Not sure what your DH was supposed to do after the fact.

I think it depends on the person saying it, and the way it’s said.

I was eating a banana in Glasgow central station with my 12/13 year old kids having something to eat. An older woman walked past and said, “Oh, don’t give the lads ideas” with a proper cheeky grin and then took off. I had my kids young and have a baby face so quite often get mistaken for their big sister, not sure she’d have said it if I looked like their mum!
My kids were equal parts horrified and amused. I told my boyfriend later and he just laughed. It was just a joke, crude but a joke.

Another time when my kids when my oldest was still in his pushchair, we were in a cafe. I put him from the highchair to pushchair and knelt down to get him bucked in. A guy on the next table opened his legs and said, “While you’re down there, love” That one got a bollocking from me, because it was definitely not a funny quip, it was harassment, said loudly in front of all “the lads” he was with and he was just trying to be the big man.

But you didn't feel like commenting to the guy it was inappropriate? If you feel that strongly about it then deal with it. If not then don't expect a knight in shining armour.

Are you the same person who shouted willy willy willy at a builder?

Please let it be the same person!

Glad I wasn't the only one who wondered this.

Not really sure what you expected of your DH.
Mine would have just said ‘knobhead’ (or similar) and moved on.
Unless you wanted to make a big deal of it, I think you need to move on. There are knobheads everywhere. Don’t let them spoil your day/holiday.

It's not even worth a comment. What you did was fine ( if have do e same and rolled eyes) but not really something your husband needs to get to interfere with

It doesn’t make sense. You’ve tapped your son on his back with your palm, a guy has said “you can do that to me if you’d like” how did this jump to the man wanting to spank you?

Anyway, OP, it’s an awkward comment but I’d be mortified if my husband made an issue out of that.

Maybe he was feeling ill or did you think he was making a pass at you?

Would you prefer that dh had been fighting for your honour in full view of your dc?

I hope the memory is not too traumatic for you and you are able to continue your holiday. Do you think you might have to cut it short and return home early?

Sorry I’m not really seeing the issue, and I’m unclear what you wanted him to do. It’s a minor incident, not worth a single second of thought.

Your DH should have unsheathed his rapier and run the blaggard through. Men today, eh what?

🤣🤣

empathy 🤣🤣for what ?

Agree. Say something yourself. Tbh my DH would probably be delighted as he thinks I'm hot and so thinks others think I'm hot too. He'd think it was a compliment

Hopefully not before calling the local Guardia and having the town locked down

What?! 😂😂😂

handbags at dawn you scoundrel!

Men need to keep their pathetic mouths shut. I don't know why your husband didn't see an issue.

I'm sorry your post brought out the thickos and the little handmaidens. YANBU.

I had quite an upsetting awkward situation at work. On a work event a male member of staff, pressed himself against me from lbehind then he asked me if I was joining the rest for drinks as he was going too. And I decided not to and just to get away and go home.

i've known him for a few years at work..And he's always been pretty decent. I was shocked to say the least. I never spoke of it again, and he looked a bit sheepish when he saw me the next time. He seemed quite embarrassed around me

I mentioned it to dp and we talked about it logically as adults. Did I want to do anything about it? Was I comfortable still working near him And basically what were my options. I conceded that I just didn't want to make a big deal of it. He had acted quite sheepish and quite embarrassed when I saw him next time. I m not excusing it he was probably just really drunk on a work trip. I ve never seen him behave like that in all the years I ve worked with him.

He's not behaved like that since and it was over a year ago.

No, my dp didn't act annoyed or demand to go round and see him and do him in or anything. We're grown adults just deal with it as a grown adult. He asked me if I was ok if I was still comfortable at work and was there anything Iwanted to do about it.

I don't think I d bothered mentioning such a daft comment to him at all