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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask anyone in the NHS how day surgery lists are determined?

516 replies

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 14:43

As above

OP posts:
Alwaystired2023 · 30/07/2025 20:00

I was first for my c section and could overhear that the other ladies had more complicated medical history and I was straightforward

Kirbert2 · 30/07/2025 20:00

youalright · 30/07/2025 19:58

Im doing better thankyou I hope the same for your son xx

He's definitely much better than what he was, thanks.

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:00

Kirbert2 · 30/07/2025 19:58

Tell them that.

They want to work with you, not against you. They will do their best to accommodate your needs but they can't do that if you don't talk to them.

Surgery is unpredictable, you can't control it and I understand how frightening that is. You will get through it though and after waiting for 2 years, this last bit of waiting will be worth it.

They won’t do a thing 😂 im a young, healthy woman. They won’t care

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 30/07/2025 20:01

They won’t do a thing 😂 im a young, healthy woman. They won’t care

Get that thought out of your head now!

They do care, but their patience will be tried if you are rude to them.

Freedbagforlife · 30/07/2025 20:01

Ty di sound very worried. It’s a good sign if you’re going in so early. When you arrive you can ask for an approx time. Take it one step at a time. I find I’m less hungry in hospital because I’m not moving as much and anxious. Maybe keep updating here tomorrow as a focus.

Kirbert2 · 30/07/2025 20:03

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:00

They won’t do a thing 😂 im a young, healthy woman. They won’t care

Of course they will care. Why do you think they won't?

youalright · 30/07/2025 20:03

Wait until the person driving you there stops of for a mcdonalds breakfast along the way for themselves, I still bring it up its been years 🤣🤣🤣

itsonlyjoan · 30/07/2025 20:03

stoow · 30/07/2025 15:38

My friend's DS who has autism had his tonsils removed and was the first on the list - the surgeon's secretary requested this.

My son.has he's tonsils removed he's 14 he was last to.go down it was a 4 yr old 13 yr old then my son but we all had to turn up.at 7am.he went down at 11.30 am then was discharged 6pm

SpringSpruce · 30/07/2025 20:04

RubySquid · 30/07/2025 18:39

So why if you are likely to not be seen before 4 pm do you need to arrive at the hospital at the crack of dawn?

Because some people won't turn up, some people's observations mean they're not well enough for the operation on the day, some operations will be quicker than expected, and having them in from first thing in the morning reduces the chance of idiots going "well I'll just eat a bit and it'll be fine, they won't know".

FourIsNewSix · 30/07/2025 20:04

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 19:54

I need to have control. I suspect I’m autistic (backed up by my parents, but I can’t afford a private diagnosis). I need to be in control and the thought of being out of control quite honestly is unbearable to me. To the point I have anxiety attacks

The only part you can have control over is yourself.
Try it.
Re-read the instructions, get the last snack when you can, read whether you can drink some water, make sure you will be there on time and make sure you will be ready for the surgery when your timeslot comes.

It would be a shame if you got cancelled because of some overlooking on your side.

The list construction is something you can't control, because it would mean giving you a lots of information about organisation, medical knowledge and other patients private health information, so it just isn't practical.

Every information from this thread is just an anecdotal evidence and has limited applicability. The list construction works differently in different types of hospitals. You are booked into the morning session, so 6pm is really really unlikely. People suggested you might go last before you added the morning session detail, so don't worry about that too much.

doglover90 · 30/07/2025 20:04

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:00

They won’t do a thing 😂 im a young, healthy woman. They won’t care

What do you actually want though? Are you expecting to be prioritised ahead of those who are diabetic and for whom the fast could be life threatening, or ahead of those who are high risk?

askmenow · 30/07/2025 20:04

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 16:23

To be honest if it goes much past 2pm I’ll probably just ask to leave, that sounds a bit ridiculous. Surely you get the simplest out of the way so you’re not letting anyone down!

Well that’s just selfish! Somebody else could have had your op day then.

So pay if you want a specific time and day given you consider yourself not urgent.

Clearly you don’t value the need sufficiently to respect the surgeons decision.

it used to be the Registrar reviewed the next days patients and submitted the final list late afternoon. But things may have changed.

Its not really until you get a bed you can be given an approximation of theatre time.
There are so many viariables.

SomethingDifferentBloomed · 30/07/2025 20:04

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:00

They won’t do a thing 😂 im a young, healthy woman. They won’t care

OP you don’t say when the operation is, but if you can I’d ring up before and explain how anxious this is making you, they might be able to prioritise you on the list or suggest ways to make it easier on you. If you don’t have a chance to do that before you go in, do it on the morning of when you get there. No one wants their patients to be struggling and if they can see that it’s causing you this much stress they will want to help. It might not seem like it sometimes but I promise that most people in the NHS do care.

Greybeardy · 30/07/2025 20:05

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:00

They won’t do a thing 😂 im a young, healthy woman. They won’t care

actually that's not necessarily true. For patients with ASD/ADHD/complex suptratentorial conditions we do try to make things as straightforward as possible. Can't do that if they don't know though, so hopefully you'll have mentioned it/will tell them on the day. Most Trusts have embraced the Oliver McGowan training and are more aware of the challenges that neurodivergence pose - doesn't guarantee that you'll get to go first, but if that is practical then they'll probably try and if it's not possible then they'll try and at least let you know what's going on.

Thisaintascene1 · 30/07/2025 20:06

Thisaintascene1 · 30/07/2025 19:53

This isn’t remotely true, I’ve been taken in for surgery at 5pm before. It’s really rude and disrespectful to staff and patients to just up and leave… do you need the surgery or not? Also if you just leave, you might get discharged.

Sorry, meant my husband has been taken at 5pm before on this one. Annoying but someone has to go last!

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:06

SomethingDifferentBloomed · 30/07/2025 20:04

OP you don’t say when the operation is, but if you can I’d ring up before and explain how anxious this is making you, they might be able to prioritise you on the list or suggest ways to make it easier on you. If you don’t have a chance to do that before you go in, do it on the morning of when you get there. No one wants their patients to be struggling and if they can see that it’s causing you this much stress they will want to help. It might not seem like it sometimes but I promise that most people in the NHS do care.

If I turn up and say “I suspect I’m autistic, I don’t have a diagnosis but this is making me anxious” they’ll laugh at me and assume im doing it to get ahead on the list.

OP posts:
Thisaintascene1 · 30/07/2025 20:08

SpringSpruce · 30/07/2025 20:04

Because some people won't turn up, some people's observations mean they're not well enough for the operation on the day, some operations will be quicker than expected, and having them in from first thing in the morning reduces the chance of idiots going "well I'll just eat a bit and it'll be fine, they won't know".

This, there was one patient before me once as they also had a latex allergy. Turned out they had eaten an egg for breakfast so their operation was cancelled as they can’t operate on those of us with latex allergies later. Meant everyone else was done faster

RampantIvy · 30/07/2025 20:08

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:06

If I turn up and say “I suspect I’m autistic, I don’t have a diagnosis but this is making me anxious” they’ll laugh at me and assume im doing it to get ahead on the list.

Or you could say that you are waiting for an assessment for autism and are very anxious about the procedure.

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:10

RampantIvy · 30/07/2025 20:08

Or you could say that you are waiting for an assessment for autism and are very anxious about the procedure.

But that would be a lie

OP posts:
FurForksSake · 30/07/2025 20:10

In day surgery there will be many surgeons doing different surgeries. You will be on a specific list. Surgeons do one of two things, bring people in altogether and do all the paperwork etc once or bring in the two sessions at different times.

I was brought it at 7am for surgery and was on the pm list. I was allowed water and I went to surgery at about 4pm. I was sat in an uncomfortable chair with a back condition for hours until I was in agony and they found me a bed to wait in. The nurses were unimpressed with the surgeon getting everyone in at once; but the surgeon had had many afternoon slots wasted by people coming late, not fasted or having insufficient time to do paperwork meaning they couldn’t do the work.

when you arrive they should be able to tell you where you are roughly on the list, but until everyone has been seen things can and do change.

tell them how anxious you are, if everyone is as able to wait and there are no implications to waiting, they may be able to get to you sooner.

everyone will be working hard to keep you and all the other patients safe and comfortable.

youalright · 30/07/2025 20:11

I think sometimes you have to put your big girl pants on and understand everyone is nervous and hungry. Everyone wants to get it done and out the way. You are no different, you aren't special and you will get seen when you get seen. You need to either accept that, cancel or go private.

FreeWifi · 30/07/2025 20:11

OP try and take deep breaths. Distract yourself. It is very likely that this time tomorrow the OP will be over, wherever you are on the list.

Okgolightly · 30/07/2025 20:12

You are awful. It doesn’t matter that you ‘may be autistic’- that’s an explanation for some of your behaviour but it isn’t an excuse. You are belittling others who have been in your situation because they aren’t telling you what you want to hear. I get being stressed and anxious but you are working yourself up at the moment over nothing because you have no idea where in the list you will be. Get some humility and hopefully you’ll be nicer to the doctors and nurses you come across tomorrow than you have been on here tonight. My god.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 30/07/2025 20:12

I think the lists are a bit of a lottery to be honest. You don't know that you're going to be kept waiting til 6pm though OP. I sat until 2.30pm for my day surgery as a fit woman. My poor old elderly father with cancer had day surgery and wasn't operated on until 5.45pm. They told him at 4pm they were going to be late and to come back the next day but he said no I'm not bloody leaving! It's not great but sadly that's how the NHS often is :(

ScuderiaSedici · 30/07/2025 20:15

Okgolightly · 30/07/2025 20:12

You are awful. It doesn’t matter that you ‘may be autistic’- that’s an explanation for some of your behaviour but it isn’t an excuse. You are belittling others who have been in your situation because they aren’t telling you what you want to hear. I get being stressed and anxious but you are working yourself up at the moment over nothing because you have no idea where in the list you will be. Get some humility and hopefully you’ll be nicer to the doctors and nurses you come across tomorrow than you have been on here tonight. My god.

How nice of you. If im bad, so are you

OP posts: