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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious at holiday club?

173 replies

samidolls · 29/07/2025 08:33

Background- my son is 7, going into yr3 in September. Holiday club is run by the school, and he has attended each year since starting school. Every year previously holiday club has provided breakfast and a snack tea, but parents have had to provide a packed lunch as they don’t have access to the school kitchen.

Yesterday was the first day of this years summer holiday club (for some reason it didn’t open for the first week of the holidays). There has been a new system put in to book places at holiday club, and part of this was an option to pay an extra £1.50 each day for a hot meal.
We specifically did not pick this option as while DS is not a fussy eater he cannot stand potato, and at least 3 of the meals are potato based.
There was no communication of any other changes at all.

DS comes home last night to tell us he was not allowed to eat his packed lunch at lunch time and had a have a hot dinner- which we have not paid for. The meal was jacket potato with beans, and as he doesn’t like potato all he ate was beans!

The staff told him he should have brought two packed lunches, as he needed a second one for tea time. They then gave him his packed lunch at tea time.

I know he hasn’t gone hungry, and that’s not the source of my angry (though it doesn’t help!) but the complete lack of communication?! We would have packed a second lunch if we had only been told about it.

There has not been a single bit of communication about this, I went back and checked booking docs, posters, terms and conditions- nothing.

I should also add that DS is in before and after school club every day, and the same staff run holiday club, but again nothing was mentioned! They know he eats basically everything but potato, so to withhold his packed lunch just seems absolutely insane to me!

It was not a very successful start to the holidays as we couldn’t even get into the building yesterday as they are having building work done and the entrance was blocked (with a builder as a bouncer who insisted we had been informed- we hadn’t!) and also now holiday club closes at 3pm on Fridays!

There are many frustrations as a working parent but this has tipped me over the edge when it’s all combined! 😬

OP posts:
Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 08:36

The school seems to have responded quite sensibly in my opinion

you are “furious”… that sounds a bit scary!

they gave him a free lunch and then he had his packed tea later

how long was he there for?

Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 08:37

So every option available was “potato based”

no… pasta?

Soontobe60 · 29/07/2025 08:44

Have you not considered that your DS has got hold of the wrong end of the stick? Just speak to the staff at drop off for clarification.

Original poster
samidolls · 29/07/2025 08:46

To be clear there is one meal option each day. No alternatives. For instance Monday, Wednesday Friday, are potato based.

he is in from 7:30 until 5pm.

Again my frustration is with the complete lack of information, and then withholding his packed lunch.

as I said above in Previous years they have provided a snack tea, and this is also what is provided in after school club.

OP posts:
Charabanc · 29/07/2025 08:46

Blimey. So there was a bit of a lack of communication, which resulted in a minor inconvenience for your son on day one.

And you're "furious"?!

ScaryM0nster · 29/07/2025 08:48

Yes. You're being unreasonable to be furious.

There’s been a basic mix up in communication. They happen. The club came up with a sensible solution.

As you say, beans alone is dull but nutritionally sound.

Bonsaibaby · 29/07/2025 08:53

He survived, it’s ok, maybe use this as an opportunity to demonstrate flexibility and appropriate responses when something doesn’t quite go to plan.

GauntJudy · 29/07/2025 08:53

Sounds like you are overreacting. Try to improve your resilience, most school communication is famously crap, in this case the consequences were very minor.

Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 08:54

For one day he had baked beans for lunch and then his packed lunch a couple of hours later

Good grief op

Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 08:55

Op… you need to start a thread about yourself because to be furious about this? Is concerning

JSMill · 29/07/2025 08:55

Furious is an over reaction.

thesnailandthewhale · 29/07/2025 08:56

But if they’d let him eat his packed lunch at lunchtime he wouldn’t have had anything at teatime when everyone else was eating … I’m guessing you’d be furious if that had happened too? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Overwhelmedandunderfed · 29/07/2025 08:56

I think you’re overreacting but also I can see why you’re so stressed. Childcare is a joke in this country and the lack of communication from the school is poor.

I would just ask for clarification and try to not let it upset you too much. They won’t care and the only one who is upset will ultimately be you:

I’m sorry you don’t have any access to any better / more reliable / cheap / free childcare. There’s guilt attached to how you’re feeling I’m sure which makes us even more irrational - been there, feeling guilty about sending them to wraparound care etc when things go a little wrong. Remember by working you’re providing the best life you can, keep going you’re doing great!

Yolo12345 · 29/07/2025 08:56

Teach your son resilience

HedgehogOnTheBike · 29/07/2025 08:57

Send two things, one for lunch one for tea. Or keep him at home

Bournetilly · 29/07/2025 08:57

So what were the other children having for their snack tea if they hadn’t been told to bring their own? Surely they wouldn’t have anything either.

Surely he could have ate his own lunch at lunch time then had the same as everyone else for the snack tea.

TheNightingalesStarling · 29/07/2025 09:00

Did they not serve breakfast or tea then? I'm sure you won't be the only one caught out by that.

Spies · 29/07/2025 09:00

It's very worrying you're so furious over this. It also seems like you missed some communication if the other children all had packed lunches for their second meal.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/07/2025 09:02

It would be irritating no doubt, the lack of communication. It can be difficult thinking of your child in holiday club in the school holidays, and it helps to at least think they’re getting food they will enjoy.

Still, it was only one day and you can send two packed lunches today.

It does sound annoying that you can’t even speak to anyone and have had to have this related by a 7 yo though.

MontythePrince · 29/07/2025 09:02

I am with you op i would be annoyed by the poor communication. It’s hard enough to juggle everything when you have all the information. Hope the rest of the week goes better

Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 09:05

MontythePrince · 29/07/2025 09:02

I am with you op i would be annoyed by the poor communication. It’s hard enough to juggle everything when you have all the information. Hope the rest of the week goes better

You would be “annoyed”

would you be “furious”?

Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 09:07

He’s there 7.30am - 5pm and you sent him off with one packed lunch for the entire day?

Theyd have issued a note that two packed meals were required. You missed it

Dearlucyloo · 29/07/2025 09:08

The reason why they told him to save the packed lunch for tea time was presumably because they’d have been no alternative available then

whereas there was an alternative at lunch time

You messed up Op. They came up with a a sensible work around

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 29/07/2025 09:09

So, they didn't communicate well about the changes from previous years.

You made assumptions and didn't bother to check what would be provided.

They took the initiative to feed your ds a meal that you hadn't paid for, rather than letting him go hungry.

He ate the bits he liked and left the rest.

And you're furious?

Arlanymor · 29/07/2025 09:12

If he's at the club from 7:30am - 5pm then why did he only go with one packed lunch if you had decided not to sign up for food provided at the site? Was it a very big packed lunch?

It sounds mildly frustrating, nothing fury-inducing. The upshot is he was fed and you had the childcare you required to go to work. Definitely worth getting in touch with the school to clarify arrangements to prevent any future issues - there may be other things that haven't been communicated/you haven't picked up on.