AIBU to be furious at holiday club?

[samidolls]

Background- my son is 7, going into yr3 in September. Holiday club is run by the school, and he has attended each year since starting school. Every year previously holiday club has provided breakfast and a snack tea, but parents have had to provide a packed lunch as they don’t have access to the school kitchen.

Yesterday was the first day of this years summer holiday club (for some reason it didn’t open for the first week of the holidays). There has been a new system put in to book places at holiday club, and part of this was an option to pay an extra £1.50 each day for a hot meal.
We specifically did not pick this option as while DS is not a fussy eater he cannot stand potato, and at least 3 of the meals are potato based.
There was no communication of any other changes at all.

DS comes home last night to tell us he was not allowed to eat his packed lunch at lunch time and had a have a hot dinner- which we have not paid for. The meal was jacket potato with beans, and as he doesn’t like potato all he ate was beans!

The staff told him he should have brought two packed lunches, as he needed a second one for tea time. They then gave him his packed lunch at tea time.

I know he hasn’t gone hungry, and that’s not the source of my angry (though it doesn’t help!) but the complete lack of communication?! We would have packed a second lunch if we had only been told about it.

There has not been a single bit of communication about this, I went back and checked booking docs, posters, terms and conditions- nothing.

I should also add that DS is in before and after school club every day, and the same staff run holiday club, but again nothing was mentioned! They know he eats basically everything but potato, so to withhold his packed lunch just seems absolutely insane to me!

It was not a very successful start to the holidays as we couldn’t even get into the building yesterday as they are having building work done and the entrance was blocked (with a builder as a bouncer who insisted we had been informed- we hadn’t!) and also now holiday club closes at 3pm on Fridays!

There are many frustrations as a working parent but this has tipped me over the edge when it’s all combined! 😬

Yes, YABU. It’s a slight miscommunication about meal provision, and the staff didn’t allow your son to go hungry.

There is no holiday provision at my DC’s school at all, and never any after school clubs on Mondays or Fridays. Wraparound care, when available, is 8-4:30. Try not to lose sight of how lucky you are to have such excellent wraparound and holiday care available to you.

Oh I see the twats are out in full force today.
The comments, that is, not the OP who is fully entitled to be annoyed.

It worked all right for me back in the 90s, when according to many Mumsnetters in the past, we didn't work full time or have professional careers. The private nursery we used back the still offers wraparound and full holiday care up to age 11 today.

Of course the staff at the holiday club should have told you about the changes this year but I don't think it warrants being 'furious'.
In our area, holiday clubs are ran by staff offering to cover during their own time off. If they have parents furious with them for a small communication error, they may decide not to bother in future.

I have a friend whose son had a serious egg allergy and the holiday club staff accidentally gave him an omelette, meaning he needed to use his EpiPen. This would be a fairer situation to be furious in, whereas I think what happened to your son is annoying

Presumably there was a health form so club know about allergies. He hasn’t been given anything he’s allergic to just not to his taste.
It sounds like a very practical solution give him free hot food and his packed lunch at tea time.
Better than ringing mum to bring food or leaving him hungry.
Furious is a very strong reaction I’d save for bigger things.

If there was a lack of communication does that mean that every single child who has packed lunch were in the same position?

Honestly, I just couldn’t be bothered to feel the level of emotion that is needed to be furious. Baked beans on its own for lunch is absolutely fine. Sounds like the club did well

I think it’s just one of those things. You missed what had changed, they provided a suitable solution, your son didn’t starve and you known now for the rest of the holidays. Easy sorted tbh

If there was no communication, does that mean all the children who paid for a cooked lunch had no snack later in the day, as they'd have had no reason to bring a packed lunch otherwise

Is there perhaps a Facebook group or email list you’ve been missed off. They wouldn’t have had enough spare food for everyone so assume others knew.
I’d have thanked them for giving him lunch and said I’d not seen info re 2 packed meals, can I just check I’m in loop for everything.

Agreed.

It’s quite horrible to read.

agree with everyone else. Complete over reaction. Basically your son might have been a little bit hungry (but had eaten something) for a few hours. Given it ended at 5pm presumably they had the 'tea' very early so it's not like he had beans at 12 and then nothing until you picked him up.

I mean yes it sounds a bit odd - the fact they expect them to eat a second meal at all when they're getting picked up by 5, for one thing, and then giving him a hot meal rather than just letting him eat his packed lunch - it's not as if he would starve by 5pm if he didn't have a second one. But I suppose they didn't want to make him feel left out, and if they weren't doing snacks anymore then they couldn't just give him a banana or something while the others ate their second meal, so I suppose the rationale was they had spare food at lunch so fed him that then.

I think it's reasonable to be irritated or a bit frustrated if there was genuinely no communication about the change.

"Furious" is an overreaction, as is talking about staff "withholding his packed lunch"- this is very inflamatory language and makes it sound as though they intentionally starved your child. They gave him a (free) hot lunch and saved his packed lunch so that he wouldn't go hungry at tea time.

What are the options for the tea time food? Is it possible that if he has eaten his packed lunch at lunch time then he wouldn’t have anything to eat at tea time?
Sounds like a learning curve for everyone. Maybe mention that the communication could be better next time but sounds like they made a judgement call and personally I’d be grateful.

So many threads about a lack of holiday care, but here is a great example of why. Those providing the care tend to be poorly paid and dealing with furious parents just tips them over the edge, meaning the job isn’t worth the agro.
I’m not sure why people are bringing allergies into the situation. Almost all holiday clubs require medical information in advance. They would have read the forms and gone John has a nut allergy, Polly is veggie, jacket potatoes and beans works around.
The child was fed, he may have only eaten the beans from the meal but he ate. There are many school meals where children eat only a small proportion, it’s not great but it happens.

Some seriously nasty people. Busy mum paying money to have their child looked after. They don't even have the decency to call and ask if she wants to bring a second meal. Find a child minder.

I can almost guarantee than had they rang the OP to bring a second meal she'd be on here complaining that they thought she had nothing better to do than rush around making another lunch box and bringing it to the holiday club, she's busy at work which is why she uses it etc

And posters would, rightly, agree it was unreasonable to expect her to come running over when they could "just provide a hot meal for one day" etc

I think you should be furious if that’s the case, but not because your son had to eat beans one day, but the safeguarding issue of allergies and anaphylaxis- what if dairy allergic child was forced to eat a buttered potato? Terrible and would make me question how the whole club is run

They didn't force him to eat anything otherwise they would have forced him to eat the potato

And, as they provide food etc anyway, then they will already have been notified of allergies

OK not forced - but placed a buttered potato in front of a child who assumed it was safe. I wouldn’t be trusting their policies if OP had no idea her child was to be given food,

But she did know her child was being given food... she expected them to give him food in the afternoon...

You are setting a bad example for your lad. Freaking out when things don't go to plan is not a strategy that will help him as he grows up.

I have a child that is a painfully fussy eater. She knows that this means she will miss out at times (a lot of times) but she has also learned that group mealtime issues are hers rather than the others at the table and that she has to deal with it. Eat what's offered or wait until she gets home.

Keep it in perspective. This is just NOT a big deal. Don't be that parent. Pack extra tomorrow. Jobs a goodun!

If the child had had a dairy allergy the mother would have logged it on the health form every holiday clubs requires prior to participation. They ask for allergies regardless of whether they serve food or not. So assuming the correct forms were completed prior to participation your point is irrelevant, as the staff would have known about allergies.

You chose the cheap school option and are moaning that they provided food you hadn’t provided!

Furious a bit ott

so he needs to take in 2 packed lunch daily now ?