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Original poster

Anyone awake to help me with this awful dilemma regarding poorly cat?

62 replies

pinotnow · 29/07/2025 05:02

I do have another thread. I am in pieces and don't know what to do. Previously healthy 10 year old cat became very sick with panting and lethargy yesterday evening. Just heard from the emergency vet who admitted him that he has lots of masses and consolidation on his lungs, pneumonia and the prognosis is guarded. Pts was mentioned yesterday as soon as I took him in but I wanted some tests, of course.

I am supposed to pick him up at around 7.30 to take him straight to my normal vet for referrals, maybe to be admitted there etc. I am supposed to be at work. I'm a teacher and it's my last day, so looks ridiculous to be off as we have all moaned about breaking up so late. I'm also in a senior role with colleagues I am close to finishing and I have the gifts here with me still. Work is half an hour away and we finish at 1. If the vet seems me straight away I suppose I can be there for 10ish, but that's an if. And I'll be in trouble with the head.

I'm going on holiday with my two dc for 2 weeks today to USA - flight tomorrow from SE so we leave tonight for overnight airport hotel. Absolutely can't cancel - would lose pretty much all of the money and massively disappoint dc, one of whom is not an animal lover.

There is no one close to me to deal with this in my absence. Mum is 3 hours away, friends - no one close enough to deal with this. Ex has agreed to look after the poorly cat (normally just use a cat sitter) for ds's sake, but he's not an animal lover. The thought of trying to deal with this long distance and him making costly health decisions about my cat from across the Atlantic makes me feel sick.

I just don't know what to do. I can't deal with this. Please help.

OP posts:
Inthebathagain · 29/07/2025 06:35

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My 5 year old boy died unexpectedly last month. The panting came shortly before his death - we couldn't even get him to the emergency vet as it was so quick.

It took me a while afterwards to get past the fact I didn't take him to the vet earlier in the day, as I was taking my pupils on the biggest school trip of the year. I was the senior member of staff going.

I'm glad you've made the right decision for your dear boy, as hard as it is. Your colleagues will understand. It may be a big school day. Your life and family are more important.

(And it is CRAZY you're still in term time)

Sending you love as you walk through the pain of today 💔

DonewhatIcando · 29/07/2025 06:43

@pinotnow
Your post and updates are heartbreaking. I was a massive cat mum, had my cats for 20 yrs, one was 21 when she had to be PTS.
My rule was if the vet advised for them to be PTS, I'd be led by that and not let my love and emotions cloud what is the kindest thing to do.
Go to the vet and if you have the stomach for it, be in the room, hold dcat if they will allow it, I had both my cats PTS whilst I stroked them.
I really feel for you, it's heartbreaking 💔

SunnyPrague · 29/07/2025 06:49

I’m so sorry.

Stuff work - they’ll cope - give your little cat your time and attention today:
He is not going to get better
He is clearly suffering
It’s time, OP. Today’s the day.

I’m so sorry. You will feel better once you have met him go - it’s the last kindness you can show him.

Sending love

Squidgemoon · 29/07/2025 06:50

Oh OP, I feel for you. I was in exactly this position a couple of years ago, well minus the work, but with a very poorly cat the day before we were going away on holiday. My choice was between a big op for him to clear a urinary obstruction but that may or may not have resolved his ongoing urinary problems longer term, or PTS. He was 12. I felt so much guilt in choosing to PTS as if we hadn’t been going away I might well have tried the op (even though it was £££ and we had no insurance). But it would have been a nightmare, my parents would have had to try and look after him after the op, the thought of him not making it through the op or my parents having to take him to be PTS without me was too awful, so I had him PTS that afternoon with me there. Like your cat it was very sudden with no signs that he was unwell. Welling up now just writing this.

I think your cat sounds in a worse way than mine was and you’re making the right decision. 💐

ilovesooty · 29/07/2025 06:53

It sounds as though you need to let him go. I am so so sorry.

moose62 · 29/07/2025 06:57

So sorry for your situation but on some respect having to make a quick decision will save your Dcat from further pain.
I lost both my boys last year. The vet said I would know when the time was right, and I did.
It is the kindest thing we can do as owners.

MissHollysDolly · 29/07/2025 07:02

pinotnow · 29/07/2025 05:30

Thank you all for being so kind, I'm heartbroken. Thee seemed to be nothing wrong with him - he was his usual self and then suddenly this.

Do you think I should ask the emergency vet to pts rather than moving him? Maybe I should ring and discuss that with him. I don't want to cause my cat more distress for n good reason.

I’m so sorry about this. Yes, I would 100% do this. It’s kinder to the cat who will not have to go through the trauma of moving again. Cat wants you there and a nice cuddle. That’s what matters.

Itsamuffinandanegg · 29/07/2025 07:05

@pinotnow

Thinking of you. We had a cat who had the same. She had been fine and then deteriorated massively when we went away for a night. Came home to find her struggling much as you describe yours.

Emergency vet pts within two hours of me taking her in. Good luck....being with them at the end and not allowing them to suffer further is the very kindest we can do.

Oh she was only 8...like yours, we thought still in the otime of life.

❤️❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂

Itsamuffinandanegg · 29/07/2025 07:07

And yes....how are you still in tt?! What part of the country....I thought Nottingham was one of the latest to break up?

Bananachimp · 29/07/2025 07:10

pinotnow · 29/07/2025 06:00

Just spoke to the vet and he said there was a very small chance of a positive outcome but far more likely that he will deteriorate further while we are away. He said cats don't like being treated/hospitalised and it is a kind decision to pts. So we will be going in around an hour. Poor boy - to think he must have been feeling unwell and masking is horrifying. He is such a big character. It will be so quiet without him.

Thinking of you , I think you've made the right decision for your cat.

Toddlerteaplease · 29/07/2025 07:11

If your emergency vet is like mine, you’ll be going back and forth between vets if your own does not to overnight care. I had my cat transferred to a different vet that did do overnight care, to stop all the back and forth. In your circumstances I’d probably be PTS.

TokyoSushi · 29/07/2025 07:15

Oh OP that sounds horribly stressful, I think I’d go to the emergency vet and be there with your lovely cat while he’s put to sleep. I don’t think there’s much to be gained by transferring him to the other vet.

We were in a similar situation earlier in the year where our darling cat was pts at an emergency vet, it was so sad, but very quick and very peaceful, thinking of you today.

Astrak · 29/07/2025 07:20

I'm sorry that your cat is so unwell. I think that the decision to pts now is a sensible one. Better a day too early than a minute too late. Be with him if you possibly can.

Tinytimmy123 · 29/07/2025 07:21

This is always a tough decision but all things considered it is kinder to pts. Thinking of you all💔

fourelementary · 29/07/2025 07:26

@pinotnow Definitely the kinder thing to have him PTS with you there and minimal moving around etc as that’s all v stressful for the poor guy. Take your son and if he needs to kiss his last day at school could his dad have him for a bit? It’s very hard to watch a loved one die, even if it is a pet. i wonder if someone could help while you are away by tidying away your cat things… and that you manage to enjoy your holiday despite this sad day.

boredwfh · 29/07/2025 07:29

I had this issue a few days before we were due to go on holiday, like you I didn’t want to let go but my vet said even if we had tests there was nothing they could do. It was better to PTS before we went away surrounded by us rather than a stranger whilst we were away. I’m afraid I’d be inclined to pts before you go. I’m so sorry. By time cats start to show symptoms it’s often too late cos they do mask pain well.

SouthernNights59 · 29/07/2025 08:06

I'm so sorry OP, but I think you've made the right decision. Having lost 5 cats in under 4 years, 3 of them within 16 months, I know what it's like. Cats mask and don't show symptoms until they are really sick. At least you will be there to say goodbye and show him how loved he is. 💐

nutbrownhare15 · 29/07/2025 08:12

As someone who spent time and money trying to get my two cats better after poor prognoses I would definitely opt for euthanasia today. Ultimately they suffered more than they needed to. I'm sorry.

Aoppley · 29/07/2025 08:21

So sorry for your loss, OP. Same thing happened to one of mine when she was 6 and the vet was adamant she should be pts without further testing as that was the kinder thing to do. All the best

Roserunner · 29/07/2025 08:37

We had this last year when we were due to go away, only in the UK so we could postpone easily. She went downhill so quickly it was really shocking. The vets called us with her results and said anything they could do would only make her a bit more comfortable for a few more weeks so kinder to have her PTS. We had agreed for the next day so we spent one more night with her but she went downhill so quickly that we decided it was best not to prolong it. She was only 11 and had seemed perfectly healthy up until that point.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If the vet has mentioned PTS then it's the right thing to do.

HideousKinky · 29/07/2025 08:57

I am reading this because we are facing something similar.

My 13-year-old cat was admitted for dental treatment yesterday but has been discovered to have a large mass under his tongue and thickening in his jaw bone. Vet took a biopsy and the results are expected end of the week but she has made it clear she thinks it will be cancer in the jaw. She said the whole jaw is already unstable.

We are meant to be going on holiday for 3 weeks in mid-August. I love him so much and want to be here with him if these are the last weeks of his life. I do not know yet what the vet will recommend in terms of a time frame, but I feel certain she will recommend he is PTS because she said he was in quite a lot of pain and has prescribed 2 different pain killers.

Sorry OP, I don't mean to hijack your thread and I am so sorry for your dilemma

Swiftie1878 · 29/07/2025 09:31

Sending hugs 🩵🩵🩵

Original poster
pinotnow · 29/07/2025 11:02

Well, he has gone. DS2, massive cat lover, decided not to come so it was just me. He had to be in an oxygen tent for me to say goodbye, though he did come out briefly, so not really sure how he could have moved to another vet. He wasn't himself, even medicated, and I think it was the right decision.

It's horrible, though. I feel awful. He was such a big character and more like a dog. I just can't believe he's gone.

OP posts:
Portions · 29/07/2025 11:12

You've done the right thing for him.

Remember the pain you're feeling now is so that he doesn't have to suffer.

TwinklingPotato · 29/07/2025 11:32

Sending you the biggest hugs possible, I am so, so sorry for your loss xx