Should his girlfriend pay rent?

[bluedelphiniums]

My son is hoping to buy his first house, and to move into it with his girlfriend. They split up for a few weeks last summer but are back together now and seem happy. The reason I mention that is because I have advised him not to get into a shared mortgage with someone if there's any prospect of their relationship not lasting, as it complicates things. He earns quite a lot more than her, but is stretching himself financially to get the mortgage he needs to pay for the right house which he views as a longterm investment. I asked him if she was going to pay rent and he said he thought she'd just say, if she has to pay rent then she might just as well put herself on the mortgage and buy the house with him. Is it unreasonable to expect her to pay her own way? She is currently paying monthly rent, same as him, at the house they live at. I don't think she should be expecting to pay nothing and effectively to live for free. Does anyone have experience of this situation with their own children? TIA.

Lodgers sharing a property with the owner have very few rights. Its different than being a tenant renting a whole property.

So what are you saying now, that she lodges?

Because that is a world away from your original 'I'd give her a tenancy agreement'

It's a massive blunder to even mention the word tenant on a lodging agreement

I was clearly being flippant in the original post. Take the stick out of your arse.

Exactly. Imo if the OP's son wants to buy a house on his own but also wants to live with his g/f he should, as others have suggested stay where he is and rent out the house he buys

I don’t know if this is legally possible, but if so it would be fair to get a joint mortgage with her share being considerably less than his and with him having the option to buy her out in the event of a relationship breakdown. On the one hand it’s not fair to expect him to provide free housing for her, but it’s also not fair for her to be paying towards and asset that is purely for his benefit. I suppose they could also come to an arrangement where she contributes a share of the bills which will make him better off, but is also left with enough to put in saving every month so that she is also better off. It’s very hard to be completely fair in these situations, but it’s easy to end up with it being massively unfair. Ultimately it’s between your son and his girlfriend though so not for you to get involved in.

It genuinely wasn't clear to me, but I'm not going to apologise. Some people offer batshit advice

If you choose to be flippant when somebody is asking a reasonable question, then that's on you.

Have a nice day 🙂

I wouldn't contribute to a partner's mortgage if I were not on it. Sounds like you want your son to have his cake and eat it.
If the level of distrust between them is so they can't share a mortgage they'd be better off renting.

Yes he should..one of DS's friends is in a very similar situation. And yes the friend charges the girlfriend rent.

When my brother’s girlfriend moved in with him she paid him rent equal to
half the rent she had been paying in her share house. So they were
both better off by £X. I think they also agreed that he would overpay his mortgage by £X and she would save £X. After a couple of years they then bought a house together.

1/2 the bills and rent free
it’s not worth risking her having a claim for a few hundred £’s

its a good leg up to build her own future financial independence

He should be wary of freeloading women

Id say half of bills and food. They both gain - he's paying less because his girlfriend is sharing these costs, she's paying less by not having rent to pay. It also means she can put money into savings, which she will need if the relationship breaks down. It's in his best interests that gf does not pay towards his house at all- in any way that could be perceived as a contribution.

My daughter is in a situation where her boyfriend bought a property with the intention of living there as a couple with my daughter - they have been together for 6 years and are very serious.

I didn't want my daughter to do it as she has no equity. Of course she won't listen. But what are her options? He has a big corporate job and she doesn't.

I just hope he doesn't drop her.

You’ve presented two quite different scenarios - one is ‘he is stretching himself financially to get the mortgage he needs to pay for the right house which he views as a longterm investment’ and the other is she’s pushing him to buy this one and he’s concerned it’s a stretch. If it’s the latter, don’t but the house.

1. they are not yet stable and committed enough for her to be on the deeds
2. I’d say she should pay some rent, less than she does now so they are both better off, but this may be a relationship ender.
3. if he is stretched for cash to cover payments for the house he bought but wants her to live in, that’s not her problem. He shouldn’t expect her to carefully budget the groceries to keep his half down, have short showers to keep his half of the bills down, or not go out or she cover him because he doesn’t have the budget. That is not her problem if she’s not an owner.

My daughter owns a flat (with mortgage). Her boyfriend has been living with her for two years. For the first year he had no income other than a student loan, while he was training as a teacher. He paid half of the bills (council tax, gas, electric etc) but no rent.

Now that he is earning, he pays a very small amount of rent, as well as half of the bills. It’s much less than he would be paying anywhere else, but it didn’t seem right that he should live rent free and have plenty of money to spend and save, while she was on a tighter budget, despite earning more, because of her mortgage.

I think in the next year they will be looking for somewhere bigger to buy together so at that point things will change.

When I bought my first flat my DP moved in. He paid half of bills and most of the grocery shopping. I felt it would be extremely unfair to charge rent on a property I was building equity in. Plus in the event of a break up there is no question the other person has a claim on the property.

I don’t think your son Should charge rent. He can either buy alone and his GF just pays half or some bills, or he buys but they rent somewhere else together or he could get a deed of trust to protect his deposit and then an agreement to shares of equity based on contributions so they can jointly own the house. I would caution him against buying somewhere he’s stretching to afford though.

In my case my then DP saved up the money he was saving on rent and ended up put it towards a deposit when we eventually bought together. We’re now married and it all worked out well!

What possible reason would she have to rent? Either she pays no rent, or she pays a part of the mortgage with your son legally protecting what he puts in.

How doesn’t it seem right that she has less money because she’s buying a house?

It’s not reasonable for her to live rent free and have considerably more money when her current alternative is to pay rent (and half the bills) elsewhere.

anyone saying they’d object to their daughter paying for someone else to build
up equity - what exactly do they think the position is with her current arrangement - she’s paying the build up equity for her existing landlord.

if she’s not in a position to pay 1/2 the mortgage if he ringfences his deposit then
she should pay 3/4 of the bills - as long as this is less than her current rent+bills she’s still better off. Who owns the mortgage on the house is a red herring, imo

I think you are wrong to expect your boyfriend's girlfriend to pay rent rather than have a share of the mortgage. If you and your son don't think the relationship has legs (a reasonable assumption since they've already split up once) then you should advise that they shouldn't live together until he is sure of the longevity of the relationship.

You certainly shouldn't compare her to a cocklodger when your son has told you that she, quite reasonably, wants to be on the mortgage. They can be tenants-in-common on the mortgage which will protect both their interests. It's a very simple solution designed precisely for a situation like this and I can't believe no-one has suggested it so far on the thread.

I'd say that what you think is really irrelevant because if he's buying a house then your son is an adult who can manage his own affairs and finances.

No rent, half the bills, split food costs, no maintenance and for her to save like crazy for her own asset.

He pays the mortgage, she pays all the bills. That way if they split, she can’t claim she’s been paying off his mortgage and try and stake a claim on the house

I love her to bits! I'm not 'behaving' in any way, she has no idea of my views, I'm just trying to gather some emotionally objective opinions. But also, yes naturally, trying to protect my son's hard earned assets so she, who is much younger and earns much less than him, doesn't expect to live rent free whilst he's shouldering the cost of a mortgage which benefits both of them. She's pushing him to buy this house. And future grandchildren aren't really on the radar yet 😂so I won't start worrying about them just yet. Thanks for your concern though...

Great so we're setting her up as a cunt lodger? Why should she live rent free?

Personally I would go with she pays half a market rent, and he puts half of that away, and then if they split, he splits that 50% each. If they dont split is goes towards their house together.