Sad :( friend :(

[TheOpalFox]

Just found out someone I knew commited suicide :( so sad 😩😩😩

Well I hope the language police are happy now the grieving OP hasn't come back.

Well done, you must all be very proud of yourselves.

Awful derailing just to try to be clever and pc, hope op and the family get more support in real life

It absolutely IS the time and place. I lost my DH to suicide and the devastation I still feel is made hugely worse by seeing phrases like "committed..."

It's not his fault he died. He did not commit a crime. He was let down at the absolutely worst time of his life.

and OP I am so terribly sorry. I hope you have good people and good support around you. The impact can be very far reaching into the future. Sending a handhold and a hug xxx

Yes, not returning to a thread within 90 minutes. So unusual. She must be offended and scared off.

Or, you know, grieving and busy living her life?

Regarding language, I used to work within arts and disability. At that time the rule was should never say handicapped, but should say disabled.

However, in the English language handicapped means there us something stopping peak performance, perhaps as in golf. Disabled means it doesn't work at all, ie, someone disabled my wifi.

Died by suicide, how is that better than committed suicide? To use the word committed in terms of committed a crime ... why not use it in terms of being sure it's what you want to do. Are people told off for saying they are committed to their family. Committed suicide implies that it was a decision that they were committed to, which is sad but sure. surely better than making it sound like a random idea?

A couple of years ago a friend of mine took her own life - I was absolutely devastated.

Have had several bereavements in my life but this was something totally different.

Don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with it.

Sending you my best wishes X

I’m so sorry OP. How did you find out? Is there anyone with you for support?

I am so sorry, OP. I have been a consultant psychiatrist for 30 years and have seen the devastating effects of suicide.

There are so many unanswered questions, so much guilt, feelings of anger, conflicting emotions etc. There was no right way to feel at the moment. Please allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and surround yourself with support.

One thing I have learned is that we cannot read minds, and people can make that final tragic decision for whatever reason and we will never know exactly why.

(Oh and yes, the language has changed relatively recently re how we describe suicide but please do not concern yourself with that at this point). Sending hugs x

'Commit' in this context also means 'did'. Stop the pointless virtue-signalling.

People absolutely do still say that

I really don’t think the op is going to say to any of the person’s loved ones -
“Sorry to hear X committed suicide”.
”Sorry to hear X died by suicide” wouldn’t make it any better, either.

Rest in peace

I'm so sorry, OP. 💐

The derailing should NEVER have happened.

Many years ago I was doing observations over many weeks of a job I was training for. I met and spoke to a young guy within the organisation that I really liked, he was funny and quiet and kind. The week I started in the company I found out he had taken his own life.

His death has haunted me and I hardly knew him. There is nothing you could have done @TheOpalFox and I’m sure your friend was glad that you were in their life. I hope you have support at home but someone will always be here to listen x

ffs. No, it doesn't connote a crime and is just a way for people to virtue-signal when others are going through a tough time.
Sorry to hear, OP.

I'm a person whose loved one committed suicide and I absolutely hate this attempt to force the use of ' died by suicide'. Its an awful passive phrase that makes the suicide sound an accident. My loved one actively chose suicide due to the unbearable emotional pain they were in. I use committed suicide to reflect her active intent.

She committed suicide three years ago. I can imagine the painful rage I would have felt if when I first reached out for support after her death some dreadful wanker tried to correct my language like this.

Ok, I'm sorry.

I never meant to upset anyone.

I'm actually not a horrible person, but thanks for that.

First time in over 20 years on mn I have ever received any responses like this.

Sorry again to the op, I genuinely was not trying to be hateful, but to educate, blindly and stupidly at the wrong time.

Apologies.

I won't return to the thread and I hope my comment doesn't hurt anyone else.

Ok thank you so much

See I feel the opposite about my own loved one. Committed reflects her intent. Died by suicide does not.

I choose the word that best suits how I understand her action. I dislike the phrase 'died by suicide', but I would never seek to 'correct' someone using that phrase about their own loss of a loved one.

Its for each of us to manage our own feelings about this phrase, not to tell others how they should feel about using it about their own loved ones.

I’m going to call Samaritans, thankyou so much :(
it was a
close friend and only 40 years of age, sorry I’m not
good with words as I’m disabled sorry

Phoning the Samaritans is a great idea. Please take care of yourself x