To think most “open-minded” people just want everyone else to agree with them?

[PearlMember]

Try disagreeing, the tolerance evaporates fast.

Be specific?

It’s more about a pattern than a single example - people who pride themselves on being “open-minded” often only extend that to views they already agree with. The moment someone challenges their worldview, it gets personal, fast. I’ve seen it happen to many times to think it’s rare.

Ummmmm, without specifics its hard to say

Do you have an example?

Being open-minded does not mean agreeing with or being ok with every single opinion on the planet.

I agree, but it is nuanced. I try to make sure that I make and maintain friendships with people who think differently to me. Christians, Tories, people from different walks of life with different experiences. And yes, although I am a leftie, the right-on left is typically less tolerant of difference in thought.

The right is a broad church, the left is the Judean People's Front. More and more granular ‘right way to think’. It is why the right wins more than the left.

Of course open-mindedness doesn’t mean agreeing with everything but it does mean being able to handle disagreement without becoming dismissive, hostile or moralistic. I’ve seen that line crossed often in spaces that pride themselves on tolerance. The demand for constant examples kind of proves the point, it’s not always about a single moment but a pattern of how disagreement gets shut down.

Open mindedness (for me) is equal to curiosity. I'm always interested in what makes other people tick, what influences them, what makes them think the way they do. Sometimes the concepts, beliefs and facts I learn lead to me changing the way I think. Sometimes it just confirms that they are actually just twats. But until you have the conversation you'll never know.

OP: Have you noticed how bad people are?

Everyone: Such as?

OP: See what I mean?

Same here.

I’ll also add wondering what experiences got them there. What are the nuances and context?

I find I can understand some things while not agreeing with it which I find causes issues with some people.

I agree OP.
Basically if you find yourself making black-and-white statements and punctuating it with "but then again, I'm open minded" you're just not. Not really. You're just smug and too in love with your own ideas.

Perfect summary.

Are you confusing ‘liberal’ with Open minded?

Because liberal people used to be open minded, but it’s changed to compulsory acceptance of certain traditionally left wing perspectives.

Instead of liberal meaning ‘open to other ways of doing things’ it currently means a particular outlook on a variety of things- lgbtq, critical race theory, immigration- identity politics, really. Rather hostile to any questioning of those righteous precursors.

The irony of you saying that when you're shutting down legit questions with a dismissive, hostile insinuation.
Do you ever plan to practice what you preach, because if not, why would anyone want to discuss this with you? Also a legit question btw.
If you can't even provide examples it makes your claim seem less credible. Naturally people want to know what types of situations you refer to and they shouldn't be shamed for asking.

Small L liberal really only applies in America, so little wonder people from the UK don't use it. American liberals were always somewhat intolerant of opposing views but it's gone way too far now. I do sympathize with them though, because their current craziness started with the rise of the Tea Party and resulting hard turn to the right the country was taking. So I think it's a fear-based reaction and a misguided attempt to gain balance by going too far in the other direction.

That’s exactly the kind of shift I was getting at - the change from “open to different perspectives” to compulsory alignment with certain views, especially in social or progressive spaces. I’m not saying all liberal or left-leaning people are like that but the tone policing, moral certainty, and hostility to questioning within those circles definitely echoes the intolerance they claim to oppose. Open-mindedness shouldn’t mean “you must agree with me or you’re hateful.” It should mean “we can think differently and still talk like humans.”

I’m not shutting down questions, I’ve answered in good faith more than once and explained that I’m speaking to a pattern, not a single event. If that doesn’t resonate that’s fine but disagreement isn’t the same as evasion. This post was never about proving a courtroom case, just observing something I’ve seen play out too often to ignore. If others recognise it too, great. If not, also fine.

I don't interpret 'open minded' in that way, I think it is the opposite of ignorant and narrow minded. Open minded people don't want to listen to small minded people unless they have to e.g. politicians.

This is a fairly hackneyed accusation that's somehow always directed at nebulous "left-wing spaces" but never towards the more conservative spaces where misogyny, homophobia, racism etc still thrive. Don't you think conservative people just want everyone else to behave, think and look like them as well? Isn't that the essence of social conservatism?

Anyway, you may also be confusing "open-mindedness" with "letting bullshit slide". Being open-minded is about curiosity in terms of learning about the world. It doesn't mean lacking firm moral values or, most importantly, letting people get away with saying or doing bigoted, hurtful things.

I completely agree that social conservatism can be just as rigid and I’m definitely not suggesting one “side” is immune from this. The difference is, conservative spaces often own their values, whereas progressive or liberal spaces tend to frame themselves as open-minded and inclusive and it’s that disconnect I find worth naming.

I’m also not saying open-mindedness = letting bigotry slide. Absolutely not. I’m saying that disagreement, even when it’s not harmful or hateful, is increasingly met with moral certainty and tone-policing in some circles that claim to value dialogue. It’s the flattening of nuance that worries me. There’s got to be space between “anything goes” and “say this or you’re a bad person” and I think we’ve started losing that middle ground.

open minded to me indicates that someone is prepared to change their mind
or be open to at least meeting people half way ish

happens much more IRL than online

I disagreed with Brexit, I understood some of the reasons for voting leave, but disagreed it was the best course of action for the UK
when the vote was leave, I had to hope it was a success, I don’t think it is a success but we have to do democracy if we want to live in a democratic society

I was, am still, happy to change my mind about most things with balanced debate

it’s how you grow as a person

Agreed.
It's easy to say you're open minded just because you hold certain views but it's more open minded to actually listen to people with a different perspective and try to understand where they are coming from.

I've changed my view on something recently because my teenage children encouraged me to think about it in a different way. They challenged my assumptions, which can only be a good thing!

I find myself having to constantly remind people that those who don’t agree aren’t some stereotypical bigot type, with cropped hair and an England flag or banner waving protesters. They are your neighbours; relatives; doctor; plumber. The families of the kids at the DCs school, their teachers. Pretty much by definition, at least 50% of any population disagrees with you on a whole array of issues. And they aren’t monsters.

I see you have given a good example regarding liberals in another post. That's more than sufficient for people to understand what you mean. Even if it's about a pattern people still need examples of how that pattern can be observed.
I was just a bit taken aback by the way you spoke to that poster who asked the question, but if you didn't mean it the way it sounded I do apologize.

If the spaces you refer to are online ones, the flattening of nuance happens across the board (have you seen some of the culture war shit that the right has fomented in the past decade?) and yes, it's a problem that doesn't seem likely to be fixed any time soon. The problem here is the format and how people are encouraged to get sucked into it (in other words, the problem is Big Tech rather than left-wing people per se).

Aside from that your issue still seems to be that you hold left-wing progressives to a standard that you don't hold right-wing conservatives. You perceive them as hypocrites and for some reason this worries you more than people who are actually bigots.

Personally I'm not sure "tone policing" (otherwise known as politeness, and listening to people when they say certain words are insulting) and "moral certainty" (damn right I have moral certainty about issues I care about) are things I consider problems - not compared to hate crimes, violence against minorities, legal rights being stripped away and so on.

Completely agree.
One ridiculous example from my own experience is liberal nutcases on SM attacking and threatening me because I didn't think Wonder Woman or Black Panther were good films, and this was strictly on a film critique basis, not a political one. I was not allowed to have anything but praise for those films, apparently. One of them even accused me of being a murderer. 😄