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Original poster

Catty friend of a friend- did I overreact?

38 replies

Lazy56789 · 26/07/2025 14:43

I've only met her a couple of times, she's very close with one of my main friends.
I should add that they both speak another language, one that I have a very good grasp of but I'm not totally fluent in, so sometimes I may not be able to express myself the same or come across as 100% confident.

We met up as a 3 and I thought it had gone well, then she said to my friend about me 'I could tell she was nervous', ok, fair enough.

I did a balayage for my friend and then apparently this woman said behind my back, "That's not how it's done, I'll do it next time." Then...didn't do it?

Tried to get to know her more and we chatted a bit on social media, then she said to my friend "Oh she sent me another long message today."

Not sure why the friend kept telling me this..
Anyway, we were on a train me and the friend, and I think they were messing about by text. The friend showed me a couple of daft memes and stuff.

Then the friend suddenly said, oh no sorry I really can't show you that one, it's pretty bad..
I wish id there and then asked what it was, because it was then eating away at me.
However I felt like I didn't have the 'right' to demand what the message said and it was my friend's private phone.

Anyway it was still eating at me later on, I ended up a bit upset because it just feels like being at school again. My friend admitted she'd been sent some goofy meme from this woman and said the picture reminded her of me.

I will never see this woman again, I can see she's a horrible person now. Apparently my friend was pretty annoyed and the friend apologised. I wish I'd just said it earlier, but you can't really force someone to show you a message can you?

I know it says everything about her and who she is. I don't know what's wrong with some people really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazy56789 · 26/07/2025 14:44

I think the friend telling me I definitely couldn't see it just sort of gave it away.

OP posts:
DoneitagainhaventI · 26/07/2025 15:09

Your " friend " doesnt come out of this very well does she?
The pair of them sound childish and unpleasant.
Leave them to it and concentrate in your other friends OP.

Duckswaddle · 26/07/2025 15:15

Both of them sound childish and ridiculous.

MasterBeth · 26/07/2025 15:26

Watch out, you'll have the pet people on the thread before long complaining that you've use a cattist remark.

JLou08 · 26/07/2025 16:02

Your friend is horrible. I think she is the worst person in this situation, she owes you some loyalty and should be considering your feelings not trying to put you down.

Ooodelally · 26/07/2025 16:04

Your so-called “friend” is horrible! I’d be backing away from that friendship quick smart!

Goodadvice1980 · 26/07/2025 16:06

Ditch the pair of them OP, some women are just unkind and bitchy for no reason. Life’s too short.

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/07/2025 16:08

I agree - neither of them are your friends - they are nasty women who behave like catty schoolgirls.

MzHz · 27/07/2025 16:41

Well, your challenge here is (and I’m sure we can help you if you need it) is to make sure you have enough of their language to tell them both to fuck right off and do their own shitty hair next time.

don’t have anything to do with either one of them again

Createausername1970 · 27/07/2025 16:46

Your "friend" is no friend.

I would withdraw from this friendship and leave them to each other.

SharkyandGeorge5 · 27/07/2025 16:51

It still amazes me how fully grown adults think they can behave.

None of this is a reflection on you. It sounds like you've tried really hard to get on with both of them. Never see this rude woman again. You could possibly maintain a limited, polite friendship with your original friend if you are part of a bigger group and don't want any awkwardness but I don't see the point in bothering. She seems to like the drama to tell you all this stuff.

Travsmam · 27/07/2025 16:52

I think I’d be staying clear of both of them. They sound very childish and to be fair not very nice people. Find some friends that are worthy of your company x

Mummypie21 · 27/07/2025 16:58

I think your 'friend' is not much better then the friend of a friend. I used to know someone who loved telling me what mutual friends said about me (that wasn't nice). It later turned out it wasn't even true (and she did the same with other people) and she just liked stirring.

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 27/07/2025 17:03

Your "friend" - is she 5?!
"Ooh no I can't show you that one" why's she being such a little shit stirrer?
I'd be ditching the pair of them. Life's too short for childish games. Find yourself some grown up friends, or find your inner peace and enjoy the drama free life 🙂

SparkyBlue · 27/07/2025 17:06

Your “friend “ is awful. I’d avoid both of them.

ThatCatWitch · 27/07/2025 17:08

Your "friend" is playing you both off against each other. She needn't have said anything but revelled in the delight of seeing you squirm and feel bad.
That is not real friend behaviour.

[Edit- typo]

godmum56 · 27/07/2025 17:10

ThatCatWitch · 27/07/2025 17:08

Your "friend" is playing you both off against each other. She needn't have said anything but revelled in the delight of seeing you squirm and feel bad.
That is not real friend behaviour.

[Edit- typo]

Edited

this.

Sugargliderwombat · 27/07/2025 17:32

Both horrible. Drop them both.

Silvers11 · 27/07/2025 17:36

@Lazy56789 - The 'friend' who keeps telling you what the other person is saying is NOT your friend at all. She is playing you off/ trying to put you off the other person or for some other unkind reason.

It sounds to me that your 'so called friend' is feeling threatened, maybe that you actually got on with the other person, and it may be that the other person did not say what your 'friend' is telling you at all?

Butchyrestingface · 27/07/2025 17:37

Lazy56789 · 26/07/2025 14:44

I think the friend telling me I definitely couldn't see it just sort of gave it away.

Are you absolutely SURE any of this stuff exists? Have you ever seen any of the messages?

I mean, your friend sounds like a prize class cow without even bringing the other woman's supposed offences into it.

Cluborange666 · 27/07/2025 17:37

Walk away.

meganorks · 27/07/2025 17:39

I think you are looking in the wrong place. Your 'good' friend is the one stiring the pot. She is the one telling you what the other lady is saying. Why? And if she was a good friend, why would she have tolerated any of it? Rather than shutting her down straight away she's passing on the messages to you. The only possible reason for that is to make you feel shit. Ditch them both

JillMW · 27/07/2025 17:41

It sounds like your friend is not your friend. Passing on unkind comments and forwarding messages from someone else is always wrong. Your friend is editing this to stop the friend becoming your friend, she is jealous.

Mummypie21 · 27/07/2025 17:45

Silvers11 · 27/07/2025 17:36

@Lazy56789 - The 'friend' who keeps telling you what the other person is saying is NOT your friend at all. She is playing you off/ trying to put you off the other person or for some other unkind reason.

It sounds to me that your 'so called friend' is feeling threatened, maybe that you actually got on with the other person, and it may be that the other person did not say what your 'friend' is telling you at all?

This.

A long time ago (when I was at uni), I had a 'friend' who liked telling me that our mutual friend was saying horrible things about me behind my back. She would even say that she was annoyed on my behalf etc. however, it turned out that none of it was true (confirmed by other friends) and that she didn't want her friends to be all be friends in case she got left out.

LivingTheDreamish · 27/07/2025 17:46

Definitely have nothing more to do with this unpleasant woman. I would be cooling things off with your main friend too.