Cried at work, feel pathetic and weak

[Tart306]

Just wish I were a bit more resilient. I worked with a woman i hadn't met before, I could see from the off she wasn't one for making friends/small talk, and that's fine I don't mind.
It's a physical type of job, I've been doing it for 3 years and never had any warnings etc. I've had good feedback.
Anyway she was sighing and tutting, raised her voice at me a couple of times but I just ignored, put my head down and tried my best.
Then there was something both of us had forgotten to do, it was equally our faults and no reason why I should've been the only one to remember.

She shouted at me and I apologised and went to do the thing we hadn't done (which was in no way life or death) and she went 'no, go and do that there, now!!'

I said calmly 'please don't speak to me like that. ' and went to my manager.
I asked her if I'd be able to put with someone else, she said, sorry no.
I ended up crying a little bit, tried to disguise it as best I could but I felt so weak.
The woman caught wind and apologised which was good. Most people are fine and you don't have to be friends with everyone, but I hate being told off like a naughty child and shouted at.
Was I too weak here? I just wish I were tougher.

Are you the colleague in question? How judgy and unhelpful 🙄OP is perfectly entitled to a work environment where she is not yelled at, encouraged to do something that will almost certainly injure her, or generally be spoken to like a naughty child.

OP I wouldn't tolerate anyone raising their voice at me in the workplace unless it was essential, eg a situation where someone was in danger. This colleague sounds ghastly. If you don't want to speak to her about it directly then approach whoever is line managing you and ask for someone else to be paired with. Say it's very obvious that Mrs X is finding it too stressful having to train me, her behaviour towards me and indeed some of the clients is not professional and it's making me very uncomfortable. Perhaps she needs more support before training staff.

I've worked with too many people who have bullied new hires, purely because they're new. They will only get away with it if you let them.

Not U to have been upset and spoken to your manager about your colleague’s behaviour, but it wasn’t a reasonable request not to have to work with her.

I’d briefly and factually email the manager about her tutting, snappy comments, blaming you for a joint mistake and the shouting incident, with dates, and report any further abrasive behaviour towards you or others, in writing, when they happen.

I feel like the concept of resilience has become a bit of a stick to beat people with, it's taken on the meaning of "put up with everything, don't have an emotional response, don't complain" which is very damaging.

You reacted pretty normally, your co-worker is a bully, and you should definitely raise the issue of being expected to lift an obese patient single handed with your manager - that's against H&S rules and a massive injury risk.

I agree with this.

In my long life I have found that when a paper trail is created naming actions and behaviours that are unacceptable, they are suddenly taken far for seriously.

She is a bully who is verbally abusing you for following health and safety guidelines.

You need to get that down in writing.
If you were injured on the job, they would be quick to blame you, remember that.

I very nearly cried at work yesterday as well. It was a very hard shift and someone was very rude to me plus various other reasons.

what I’m doing today is meeting my friend for a nice walk and a chat and then I’ll come home and have a meal with my teenagers. It’s on my mind but only in a processing way.

There will always be rude people at work. You can call it out but there will always be rude people/ comments it’s just another one of the challenges of work.

Just try to forget about it today and enjoy your day

we have a new woman at work who is so aggressive and argumentative towards me
i just start to sob,
it makes me feel better so that is how i deal with it

No, she wasn’t upset about you saying she needed to toughen up, she was upset at you saying she shouldn’t post on the internet about it.

So don’t attempt to backtrack the narrative. We can all read.

OP, you seem to think your only options are (a) behaving as you did, apologising, crying and asking to be put with someone else or (b) a ‘whatever’ attitude. They really aren’t.

I absolutely get that care work is hard, poorly-paid and often pressured, but if you’re so upset about one minor interaction with this colleague, and if, as you say, you’ve previously left jobs because of colleagues, I think you need to learn to get better at dealing with this kind of situation. Hoping you’re not paired with them again or quitting isn’t really a workable longterm strategy. The only behaviour you can change here is your own.