Page 7 | AIBU to advise my daughter that she'd be daft to not put her name on house deeds?

User197634 · 2025-07-26T07:54:46+00:00

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills. I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too. I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

AllyDally · 26/07/2025 10:26

If she is on the mortgage surely she should be on the deeds, why does it matter how much she put in compared to him. Its pretty common for one person to put in more and just protect a larger proportion in case of them splitting up.

If she doesn't want the responsibility of a mortgage etc then fair enough she is essentially a lodger. In no way would I ever move into someone else's house I was in a relationship with and pay half their mortgage for nothing. Not a chance, I would be saving for my own place first!

Spotthering · 26/07/2025 10:27

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

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Presumably she will be able to save money considering half a mortgage is cheaper than paying rent?

heroinechic · 26/07/2025 10:27

I wouldn’t put someone else on the deeds if I was buying a house with my own money. She may well be paying towards bills but she’d only be renting elsewhere anyway. If she makes contributions towards the house then she could have a claim over it anyway if things went south.

If they are applying for a mortgage in both names then both names will need to be on the deeds anyway!

WaxyMcWaxerson · 26/07/2025 10:28

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

Show quote history

OP you're getting replies like this because your OP wasn't clear.

From your subsequent replies the situation is:
your DD is buying a house with her boyfriend
He is providing the full deposit
They will have a joint mortgage

(They obviously need legal advice about tenants in common arrangement)

Why is there any suggestion she wouldn't be on the deeds, when as you've now told us she'll be a party to the mortgage? Who is suggesting this to you?

PropertyD · 26/07/2025 10:28

Is her salary allowing them to buy the house? That would key to me. Is she on the mortgage application?

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 10:29

Jaws2025 · 26/07/2025 10:00

The person without the deposit is benefitting massively from the person with, if they share the mortgage. Lower mortgage rate, bigger house than they could afford on their own. I'm not sure this is reflected in just ringfencing the deposit.
obviously if it turns into a long term relationship this won't matter anymore.

Yes assuming the house rises in value the split of any market rise should be allocated on %
Eg
House 500,000

60k + 250k + 250k

Sold for 600,000
100,000 market value
6/50 or 12% gets ringfenced

There should also be a provision where a market loss takes account of the 60k so the BF is not paying 50% of a market drop and loosing the 60k.

titchy · 26/07/2025 10:30

If she is on the mortgage then the lender will need her to be on the deeds. If she isn’t on the mortgage the lender will regard her as a financial dependent of his and reduce his mortgage accordingly.

I suspect they’ll have no choice and all will
be fine one way or another

abs12 · 26/07/2025 10:30

You're absolutely spot on OP. Exactly what I'd tell my child and partner. Why are the BF's parents not recommending this also? Or are they pleased he'll be getting someone to pay his mortgage, because if so... 🚩

uncomfortablydumb60 · 26/07/2025 10:31

Nope in a cohabitating established couple it’s important but it’s his asset alone
She should be paying rent and living expenses as she would everywhere else

Sgreenpy · 26/07/2025 10:31

As PP if its a joint mortgage she'll go on the deeds - the boyfriend can't stop her.
His deposit money should be ring fenced and they should sort something out with the solicitor when they buy/complete.

A word of warning - a family friends son bought a house with his girlfriend but now they've split up (after only living there a year) the house is now on the market! Both in their early 20s.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/07/2025 10:32

uncomfortablydumb60 · 26/07/2025 10:31

Nope in a cohabitating established couple it’s important but it’s his asset alone
She should be paying rent and living expenses as she would everywhere else

She's planning to be on the mortgage, which changes things rather a lot.

soupyspoon · 26/07/2025 10:32

WaxyMcWaxerson · 26/07/2025 10:28

OP you're getting replies like this because your OP wasn't clear.

From your subsequent replies the situation is:
your DD is buying a house with her boyfriend
He is providing the full deposit
They will have a joint mortgage

(They obviously need legal advice about tenants in common arrangement)

Why is there any suggestion she wouldn't be on the deeds, when as you've now told us she'll be a party to the mortgage? Who is suggesting this to you?

Show quote history

Oh god this.

Honestly OP just take this whole thread down its a waste of time.

TheGentleButFirmMadonna · 26/07/2025 10:33

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/07/2025 09:13

Depends if she is paying half the mortgage.

if she is then her name on deeds but his deposit is ring fenced to get back if split

The question is are they buying together or is he is buying and inviting her in.

You need to be married and then buy. Then at least it's easier

TheignT · 26/07/2025 10:35

User197634 · 26/07/2025 09:54

Apologies, I hate reading drip feeding threads, and I guess this is what I'm doing.

I'm jumping ahead a little, they've seen one or two houses they like and although they've not applied for a mortgage as yet, they are planning to together.

I do think they're both very young to take this step re buying a house (and I've told my DD this), but this is what they want to do. I totally get that my DD's bf should have his money protected, I'd do the same for my DD if it was her.
But, considering she's planning to get a joint mortgage, I've advised her that if this is the case she should also go on the deeds, obviously protecting her bf's money.

I just don't want her paying towards a mortgage and all the bills when technically she has no say in the house if she isn't on the deeds.

If it's a joint mortgage she has to go on the deeds as far as I know.

TheGentleButFirmMadonna · 26/07/2025 10:36

iwantavuvezela · 26/07/2025 09:02

Your daughter will need to pay bills (she would be doing this if he was buying or if they were renting). He is young, buying a house with parents money - your daughter needs to pay her share fairly (in what she would usually pay to rent etc0 and then enjoy living with her boyfriend. There is no way if it was my son would I be encouraging at that age that they buy a house together , especially if he is paying for it outright! Children, marriage etc change things, and then my advice would be different - not two young people setting out in life together

Why should be paying him rent. This will pay off his mortgage
No way.

abs12 · 26/07/2025 10:36

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

Show quote history

The difference is, if she has a mortgage in her name (and his) then she must be on the deeds. Can you even get a mortgage without being on the deeds? Then she is legally responsible for that debt but no deeds means no asset, so no protection if she gets turfed out, just huge liability. No way.

CandyCane457 · 26/07/2025 10:37

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

Show quote history

Yes, that is what I’m saying. And she can be his tenant for a couple of years and then reassess. If I was him, and his parents, and had just spent £60k on a house, I wouldn’t want someone else’s name on it just yet.

Ddakji · 26/07/2025 10:38

soupyspoon · 26/07/2025 10:16

Well OP has provided pertinent information that should have been in the OP that the daughter is jointly buying the house and therefore of course it is her house.

Perhaps the thread would have been shortre and more accurate if she provided that rather vital piece of information at the start

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Oh, FFS, I hadn’t seen the update that they’re planning on getting a joint mortgage (or have I misunderstood that?!).

LBFseBrom · 26/07/2025 10:38

I don't get why she wants to tie herself down in that way at 20 but if she is determined, she'll do it. Let's hope she doesn't regret it, it's a huge commitment.

If it is a joint mortgage she will be on the deeds.

howshouldibehave · 26/07/2025 10:38

Is it even possible to be on the mortgage but not the deeds? Who is saying she wouldn't be, that makes no sense?

Exactly. The OP has posted making lots of assumptions about how mortgages work and has completely confused everyone.

If they're getting a joint mortgage, it's joint.

I would delete this thread, OP and start again with some actual facts!

SumUp · 26/07/2025 10:39

She needs independent legal advice from a solicitor, and to know what she wants. Either she’s on the mortgage and deeds, or she’s not, but the legal obligations, costs and exit strategies if they split up need to be clarified from the outset.

Lavenderflower · 26/07/2025 10:39

The situation is not from your description but I think both parties need legal advice.

Aquabluemouse · 26/07/2025 10:39

OP, given your updates confirming your dd would be taking out a mortgage, why are you asking about your dd being on the deeds? Has the bf or his parents suggested that your dd shouldn’t be? Because if that’s the case then buying the house is the least of her problems.

MummaMummaMumma · 26/07/2025 10:39

As she is going on the mortgage, then yes she should definitely also be on the deeds. It doesn't need to be a 50/50 ownership, as she is not contributing to the deposit. His money should be kept for him, as at their age it's unlikely they'll be together forever.

Hodgemollar · 26/07/2025 10:40

At 20 your DD isn’t contributing financially to the purchase of this property. It’s beyond stupid for a couple of this age to tie themselves together via property.
If they rented together she would still be paying and wouldn’t have a stake in it.