Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to advise my daughter that she'd be daft to not put her name on house deeds?

544 replies

User197634 · 26/07/2025 08:54

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
Reallyneedsaholiday · 26/07/2025 13:51

Alondra · 26/07/2025 11:56

If she's on the mortgage as joint tenant, the bank loan is in both their names which means, her daughter gets also a loan debt for the property she's responsible for. It's not a complicated process.

The real issue is that this thread doesn't make any sense if the OP's DD and her B/F are looking for a joint tenancy loan.

Edited
Show quote history

It IS complicated if she's on the loan but not on the deeds

Anyahyacinth · 26/07/2025 13:54

The conversation needs to be about her financial future and if she is contributing to such an extent that he is able to sustain a mortgage ..then this is not in her best interest if she isn't also buying property. Saving for a deposit and buying her own property really matter ...years past fast and she would have build nothing in this scenario if things go wrong.

usernamealreadytaken · 26/07/2025 13:56

User197634 · 26/07/2025 09:54

Apologies, I hate reading drip feeding threads, and I guess this is what I'm doing.

I'm jumping ahead a little, they've seen one or two houses they like and although they've not applied for a mortgage as yet, they are planning to together.

I do think they're both very young to take this step re buying a house (and I've told my DD this), but this is what they want to do. I totally get that my DD's bf should have his money protected, I'd do the same for my DD if it was her.
But, considering she's planning to get a joint mortgage, I've advised her that if this is the case she should also go on the deeds, obviously protecting her bf's money.

I just don't want her paying towards a mortgage and all the bills when technically she has no say in the house if she isn't on the deeds.

If they are planning on a joint mortgage, afaik the mortgage company will require her name to be on the deeds. His deposit can be protected and ringfenced, but the house will be jointly owned in different proportions.

Anyahyacinth · 26/07/2025 13:57

Just see your extra information ...the mortgage company wouldn't permit her not to have a stake (because she has legal rughts in these circumstances)...the boyfriend is waving red flags though

nomas · 26/07/2025 13:57

Yes, better to do it now. Otherwise the years will slip and she’ll find herself as a middle aged woman with nothing to her name.

nomas · 26/07/2025 13:59

CandyCane457 · 26/07/2025 09:45

You say she is is “planning on buying a house with her boyfriend” but it doesn’t really sound like she is… I’m reading this more as HE is buying a house. And she is moving in. That’s two different things. They are not buying a house together are they? Even if she is contributing to the mortgage it is still his house that he has bought with his parents £60k deposit. I see where you’re coming from that she will be contributing toward the mortgage and bills so you want her to have some sort of ownership over it, but I think he’d be daft to do this at such a young age. They should just see it as she is his tenant, and maybe reassess in a couple of years when they’re a bit older.

Please never give advice to vulnerable women.

His deposit can be ring fenced and protected but she needs to be on the deeds and mortgage too.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/07/2025 14:01

A friend's DD was in a very similar position, and the way they did it was to put the mortgage and deeds only in the BF's name until they were married, at which point she was added to both

In the meantime she saved half what the mortgage cost in her name only, on the understanding that it would go into the joint pot on marriage, or become a nest egg for her to fall back on if the relationship had failed

It worked very well and now they share everything, but in OP's case it may be that the BF needs the DD's income to get the mortgage he wants, in which case I'd say no and revert to the above (and especially given their very young ages)

JudgeJ · 26/07/2025 14:02

doodleschnoodle · 26/07/2025 09:10

She’s not buying a house with her bf, he is buying a house and she is going to live there.

Exactly and any money she pays 'towards the house' should be consider as rent rather than a financial interest in the house. Sounds like her boyfriend needs some good advice before he risks losing part of his home.3

ILoveBrum · 26/07/2025 14:05

ChateauMargaux · 26/07/2025 12:09

If it's a joint mortgage, there is no way on earth that she should not be on the deeds.

This! Protect his £60k of course but otherwise she’s a fool to not be on the deeds given the arrangement you describe!

JudgeJ · 26/07/2025 14:05

soupyspoon · 26/07/2025 09:54

So many people here not understanding that if a property is mortgaged, its up to the mortgage company what other adult householders go on the deeds. You cant just 'put yourself on the deeds'.

Not true. When we changed our mortgage company our 18 year old daughter, still at school, had to formally agree to the change but was not placed on the deeds.

KnewYearKnewMe · 26/07/2025 14:11

@JudgeJ - what @soupyspoonsaid IS true.

Your daughter - as an adult - likely had to sign an Occupiers consent form of some sort, confirming she had no legal right to the property (in the event the mortgage company needed to repossess). She’s not on the mortgage.

In this instance, OP’s daughter WILL be on the mortgate - hence it’s standard practice e that the lender wants all mortgage parties to be owners of the property (so they can get it back if one or more of them default).

there are exceptions but they are specific and not standard.

if OPs daughter is not on the mortgage, then no, she should not be/doesn’t have to be on the deeds, but that’s a different situation.

Derbee · 26/07/2025 14:12

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

Show quote history

Your DD isn’t buying a house, she just happens to be currently in a relationship with someone who is buying a house.

Without a deposit etc of her own, she’d be paying rent where she was living, without also having a share in the potential equity of the house she was renting.

Just because her current boyfriend is in a position to buy, it doesn’t mean her monthly budget of rent (which she’d pay anywhere) entitles her to be on the deeds of anyone’s property.

I would hope the boy’s parents would temper withhold the deposit when they hear his girlfriend’s mother is trying to ensure her daughter gets maximum benefit from it with minimal contribution. Beyond cheeky

EmmaM84 · 26/07/2025 14:13

If she's paying towards the mortgage then yes she should but he should have the deposit protected. Means if they split she would be entitled to half the value when it inevitably goes up.

Alondra · 26/07/2025 14:13

Reallyneedsaholiday · 26/07/2025 13:51

It IS complicated if she's on the loan but not on the deeds

Show quote history

If she's on the loan, she's on the deed. Joint property means a mortgage in both names and property title.

Islandgirl68 · 26/07/2025 14:13

@User197634 of course if your daughter is paying half the mortgage, bills and maintenance of course she should be on the deeds. And the BFs deposit should be protected by a legal document. It's not that difficult. And it should the same if it was the other way around and your daughter had the deposit. Has she got any kind of deposit.

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 14:13

T1Dmama · 26/07/2025 13:02

I’m confused… I’m not sure you can legally get a mortgage in your name without the deeds being in your name?!…. When I married my husband and he came onto the mortgage his name automatically went on the deeds because he was then in effect ‘buying’ the house…
Also legally if she’s paying half the mortgage and half the bills she has a right to claim against the house anyway.
when my husband moved in with me into my house I sought legal advice and they told me not to put a single bill in his name, and to buy a rent book and record him paying me rent. Otherwise he could technically claim something from the house!
So if DD is on paper as paying half the mortgage it would be a crap solicitor that would allow her to not be on the deeds!

When my husband came in the deeds I already had 1/3 of the house value in equity so we were advised to set up the mortgage as ‘partners in common, meaning I owned 2/3 and him 1/3…. So when we later paid off the mortgage and split we still legally owned the house 66/33 approx split

Marraige changes the scope as his marraige contract right trumps the banks right under any new loan agreement for the "family home"

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1983/19/enacted

When you were living unmarried and court could recognise a debt owed to your partner and allow him to register a charge ( a co-owner of the value)

Once the house is sold the bank get their share as they registered first (like a co-owner) then the partners court order is applied against the remaining value and you get the balance if there is any.

Matrimonial Homes Act 1983

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1983/19/enacted

3luckystars · 26/07/2025 14:16

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

Show quote history

No unless it’s a joint mortgage.

no way will his parents allow this happen, there is no way unless they are really stupid and not on mumsnet

angela1952 · 26/07/2025 14:16

If she is paying half the mortgage and bills she should definitely be on the deeds. As you said, BFs deposit can be legally ring-fenced to be returned to him if they separate and sell the property, though some formula would have to be used to take account of the proportion that each has paid for.

It is very young to be buying jointly, though two years together must seem like a long time at their age. But the earlier people buy the better.

Livelaughlurgy · 26/07/2025 14:16

@Derbee read again, they are buying a house together. They are both applying for the mortgage.

3luckystars · 26/07/2025 14:17

When they go in to apply for the mortgage they will find out themselves how it will go.

You don’t need to worry.

Livelaughlurgy · 26/07/2025 14:21

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years

@User197634 when you started your post with this, you should have clarified that you meant it to be taken literally. Because everyone has assumed when you said "my dd is buying a house", what you actually meant was my dd's bf is buying a house 🤣 14 pages later and still "it's not your dd buying a house".

spoonbillstretford · 26/07/2025 14:23

I think it's a bit young to settle down with a life partner TBH and a house is a bigger commitment than marriage in many ways. I did at 26 and wouldn't have sooner. That said many people do and if she is sure she will need legal advice. They could say, own the property as tenants in common with his inheritance ringfenced and she still gets a share according to her contribution.

Sweetlikechoca · 26/07/2025 14:24

If they are taking out a joint mortgage based on both of their incomes then...

BFs deposit should be protected in the event of a split or property sale.

A document should be drawn up to say the first £X goes back to him (however much he put in) with the remaining £X split equally between the two

She should be on the deeds as much as he should

Make sure they speak to a Solicitor to ensure this is done properly

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 26/07/2025 14:25

Nah I’d be telling my daughter to pay the share of the bills (not mortgage) and then what she would be paying in a mortgage she should put in a savings account. She can then use that for her own property if she needs to. Otherwise if this relationship lasts and they are married she can contribute that money to the mortgage when he puts the house in both of their names. She needs to remain independent.

angela1952 · 26/07/2025 14:26

A friend's daughter lives with her BF in a house that his parents helped to finance. They've been together for some years and she pays half of all the bills including the mortgage but is not on the deeds. The idea was that if they stayed together her name would be added, but it has simply not happened. This appears to be because his parents are against it. It makes me wonder if they hope that somebody better will come along.
She could have been paying her own mortgage for some years and stands to lose out if anything goes wrong. It's much better to get all this sorted out at the beginning, it doesn't sound as if he could afford to get a large enough mortgage to do it alone, so they would probably have to sell up if they split.