Child causing to me drink

[TakingTimes]

So ashamed to admit this but DS is 4 and autistic and has adhd. I have never felt hard work like this. Need help

Have you any outside help that can give you a break.
If he's not sleeping melatonin works well.

Drinking won’t help. You need respite. Firstly have you looked at your local SEND offer from your council?
Are there any events that you could take them to from there?
What support do you have at home?
Are they on any medication for sleep such as melatonin?
Do they have a special interest?

@EmeraldShamrock000 No I feel as if I’ve tried everything

@Dontthink Yes there’s nothing they can do. I have a lot of things around me I can take him to but he’s just not interested and just runs off. Have his dad here but he’s not much help.

Been there and got the t shirt. Drinking was a no go but food became a comfort.

Medication for adhd at 6 for kids was game changer.

@Hankunamatata I’m already fat as fuck. Jumped from a size 10 to 18. My life is shit

I see no way out of this. I either get fatter or drink more. Urgh I can’t be arsed

I was 20 when I had my first and 25 when I had second. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t bothered. Love them both to bits but what’s the point. Parents always side with DH. What do I do

Not for all kids unfortunately.

Its not easy, sending you my love.

There isn't much help about. Sure start was good as were some local charities. It was just bloody lonely as couldnt take them places without at least two adults and had to be enclosed as no sense of danger and omg the meltdowns.

I had dog gates (big high baby gates) on every room. Bedrooms were made into safe spaces so I could leave them for 5 mins without someone being hurt or something destroyed.

Hi OP,

Your situation sounds really hard. As tough as it sounds, you need to keep showing up to GPs and the council and demand help.
It sucks but if it looks like you are coping, they think you are coping.
Try and find some self-help groups in the area for parents. There is strength in numbers and there will be people who have gone through the same thing.
Why do you say your partner is not much help? Is he sitting back and letting you get on with it or have you maybe taken over default parent because it feels easier if you just do it yourself. I don't know your situation, but in your long term interest, you should get his dad involved in parenting.
Take some time for yourself. I don't know how autism is affecting your son, but you may have to support him into adulthood and you can't do it alone. Your partner should be your closest ally.

Has he started school yet?
And is he mainstream or will he be going to a special school?
The early years can be very hard My son is 15 and severely autistic and has severe learning disabilities we have a good package of respite now but only in the last couple of years
Hsve you had early help involved ?

Can you get mounjaro? That might make you feel better about yourself which will help you deal better with your child and other challenges? Lots of people on MN could advise you on that I’m sure x

Try to reframe / it’s not your child making you drink. You are overwhelmed and need resources to help. Drinking is a response that you know won’t help, but is an immediate escape.

Op I feel your pain

Many of us have been there

Please ask for help

Contact services and tell them how hard it is to
You are only human and be honest with them
It is a lot to deal with xxxxxx

No, your child isnt making you drink. hes not holding it up to your mouth and chugging it down your throat.
You are overwhelmed. Speak to social services about possible resbite, get some help with some tatics & stragerties that will work for him.

Respite is incredibly difficult to get paticularly at four .

@x2boysthey can still sign post OP to help & support.

They can but ime,it will be parenting courses and very little else
But at least she can meet parents in similar situations.

I'm sorry that things are so tough. I hope they get easier, little steps to hold it together.
Regrets are normal when you're overwhelmed and possibly depressed.
Book an appointment with the Doctor for a check-in.

Melatonin doesn't work for him? It doesn't always work for mine either

Honestly i feel the same as you. It is so challenging looking after a child with complex needs. Do you get DLA? If not apply and see if you can put your child in a nursery to give you a break. I go to the gym it's the only thing that keeps ke sane, without it I would drink too.

I have a severely autistic child with global developmental delay and suspected ADHD (similar age to your child). I tried to drink but developed a rare allergy to alcohol. If I want to drink I have to dose up on antihistamines and steroids.

The biggest difficulty I’ve experienced is the loneliness. I’ve always made friends with people I work with or see regularly. I’m so isolated now, I can’t work and take him to therapy at the same time. I have nothing in common with other parents. We have never been invited to a play date and there have been no birthday invites this year.

Go to gp
Tell gp everything
Refer to ss children with disabilities for urgent carer assessment
Tell gp and ss you need urgent every weekend foster care respite and why
Ask gp to refer you to addiction alcohol and weight management services
Initial step might be offering you few hours but if you can and mean it that you need foster care weekend respite placement they can look into it. But you have to be prepared to hand over child to some one else.

You have to say you at breaking point and mean it and be prepared to allow child to be taken care of by others. Alternative is you literally break.

Like this service
It does exist
Types of fostering: Short breaks for children with disabilities | Essex County Council https://share.google/qhN7UacIi7Ks1NBhW

They do exist but you know as well as I do how hard it is to access them and they usually exist for the most complex needs children I don't mean to pessimistic, but realistically even to get a little bit of respite is hard