Page 2 | Child causing to me drink

TakingTimes · 2025-07-25T11:56:24+00:00

So ashamed to admit this but DS is 4 and autistic and has adhd. I have never felt hard work like this. Need help

x2boys · 25/07/2025 17:14

And yeah a GP is not going to authorise foster care every weekend it's just not going to happen and it's not the Gp s job.

PolyVagalNerve · 25/07/2025 17:17

AllotmentHappy · 25/07/2025 13:26

No, your child isnt making you drink. hes not holding it up to your mouth and chugging it down your throat.
You are overwhelmed. Speak to social services about possible resbite, get some help with some tatics & stragerties that will work for him.

Exactly -

you are drinking / eating because you aren’t coping with your feelings

Speak to GP / health visitor / SS early help etc

get down to one of the mental health neighbourhood cafes

this isnt gonna sort itself, you need to be reaching out and saying I’m not coping here …

drinking is going to make it harder to cope - you will be more depressed, worse sleep, less focus, more skint, etc etc …

cestlavielife · 25/07/2025 20:16

Gp can write to ss to support access to respite short breaks
They will want to know where dad is and what dad is doing
If op is getting extremely drunk /alcoholic/ putting her dc at risk / if suicidal etc she needs to tell gp and ss children with disabilities
Gp letter can support or speed ss referral

Of course with another capable adult at home they will ask questions as to why they are not supporting but you cannot access any help without asking

Saying your ideal is weekly overnight respite might get you just a few hours initially but it is a start

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 25/07/2025 20:28

DS is 12 and autistic. It's fucking hard, and help and support is limited - we've never had any practical help in the areas we desperately needed despite asking repeatedly.

Saying that, you do need to go to your GP - ask if there's a GP with an interest in mental health at your surgery and try and make an appointment with them. I don't know what area you're in so don't know what services are available, but that would be a start.

You could also look at what's available in the voluntary sector, for smaller local organisations and groups check Facebook or get in touch with your local voluntary sector council as they may be able to signpost you.

And get a Carer's Assesment if you've not had one.

Bryonyberries · 25/07/2025 20:32

Caffeine helped my friends daughter sleep, it is meant to affect the adhd/autistic brain chemistry differently. Worth an experiment maybe?

BananaPeachPie · 25/07/2025 20:36

It is relentless. And exhausting. And I promise some of us do understand. I can’t promise it gets easier but you can find things that make it more enjoyable.
He isn’t making you drink, and eating and drinking won’t help, but you already know this.
as hard as it is, you need to find some thing for you. If you want to drink and eating less, then this needs to be a separate issue and one you deal with for you. You can only be a good parent if you are looking after yourself first. It has taken me 12 years to work this out.
If you don’t already, then apply for dla, if you don’t work it earn much, then you can apply for carers. It’s not much but it will pay for things that just make life a little easier.
And find your tribe. Either in real life or online. You need other parents then genuinely don’t mind you messaging at 6am telling them how bad your night has been, even though they have been up since 3am as well.

x2boys · 25/07/2025 21:08

BananaPeachPie · 25/07/2025 20:36

It is relentless. And exhausting. And I promise some of us do understand. I can’t promise it gets easier but you can find things that make it more enjoyable.
He isn’t making you drink, and eating and drinking won’t help, but you already know this.
as hard as it is, you need to find some thing for you. If you want to drink and eating less, then this needs to be a separate issue and one you deal with for you. You can only be a good parent if you are looking after yourself first. It has taken me 12 years to work this out.
If you don’t already, then apply for dla, if you don’t work it earn much, then you can apply for carers. It’s not much but it will pay for things that just make life a little easier.
And find your tribe. Either in real life or online. You need other parents then genuinely don’t mind you messaging at 6am telling them how bad your night has been, even though they have been up since 3am as well.

Yep totally agree with finding your tribe,/ people my special needs parents group of friends saved me we have a group chat thing that we all post in and offer support and meet up when we can for breakfast it really helps me to know I'm not alone.