Get frigging childcare

[JuniperJuly]

Yes another one of these posts.

Emergencies dont count obviously but otherwise, no you cant do your job and look after your young child at the same time.

This morning I had a 2hr teams meeting with an external person trying to organise an event for September. It was almost impossible. Every 2 minutes it was no darling, dont stick the pencil up your bum (true story. I dont care if she is on here), or telling me to hang on a second while she dealt with her child or her child shouting down the headset and being told he is sooooo cute.

I said that its awful when you get let down by childcare and she said that she was always planning on working with him at home. But she obviously isnt working! If shes like that on a teams call what is she like normally?

Last week I was on a group call and could hear someone's baby crying. Maybe she has a nanny or something, whatever, but then it became very obvious that the person wasnt actually on the call but had dialled in and buggered off, presumably to look after the crying child.

Ive now got to send an email to the person from this morning to discuss all the things we couldnt do this morning. Im not even going to bother putting in another meeting with her.

I've half a mind to send an email along the lines of
lovely to meet your child this morning. You had your hands full with him so we couldnt discuss everything so here is what I need. Its probably easier to do via email to limit distractions"
and cc her manager in.

Would that make me a bitch? Im so annoyed at the delay and the extra work it will give me.

email the manager
cc the "don't stick it up your bum" parent in
explain what happened, ask for someone else to be allocated that is able to provide an acceptable level of service.

I have as much sympathy, tbh, as people had for me: precisely zero.

Every few weeks we get a thread on this forum with people complaining about their silly boss 'forcing' them back into the office which of course is totally unreasonable because they are all 'so much more productive' at home.

I think it's become abundantly clear that many people are not 'so much more productive' at home and 'forcing' people back to their workplaces is not necessarily a form of control freakery on the part of their managers.

It's not just about employers though is it? It's also about colleagues and clients. If you can't be arsed to arrange appropriate childcare for your little darlings then you simply aren't doing your job and are letting other people down.

Agree, I've got a colleague who very much kicks back on coming into the office.
She's recently been talking about home educating her youngest and I'm wondering how the heck's that going to work?

@JuniperJuly
I completely agree with you.
It's unprofessional, unproductive and bloody annoying.
I had this with a colleague, three of us on Teams, colleague has a 3yr old at home (not allowed btw) while she's on the call.
3yr old:
Nearly drowned in the paddling pool, had to be rescued.
Then fell off the trampoline.
Then pooped himself.
Then proceeded to scream blue murder cos he couldn't have a biscuit because "mummy's working, darling"
In the meantime my other colleague and I are waiting patiently until I gave up and left the call.
I'd cc her manager, she's paid to work not look after her dc.

I'm with you @JuniperJuly and I'd be sending that email and cc your manager and her manager in.
This meeting basically wasted your time - because now you've got to follow up via email.
She admitted this wasn't an emergency childcare situation.
The event you are trying to plan is clearly important to your company so deserves everyone's full attention.

Honestly the amount of threads on MN about people trying to PLAN to WFH and also care for their kids makes my blood boil.
I'm all for flexible working which allows mothers to progress in the workplace but this kind of thing just gives home workers a bad reputation and eventually employers will withdraw the option of WFH.

What is the relationship between your employer and hers - are they service providers to you? Because that gives you more power and can give a different approach to where you are say both service providers to a joint client.

That's awful OP. I cant believe she carried on with a 2hr meeting like that, I'd have been absolutely mortified. Just unacceptable.

We're only a week in to school holidays and I'm already sick of hearing really loud child background noises in team meetings. When we worked in the office we all managed to arrange leave between parents and make use of cheap and plentiful holiday clubs. I think people just think they'll get away with and save money.

During a telephone call with HMRC the advisor actually put me on hold to sort out a problem with one of his kids. He was quite open about it and not at l embarrassed, nor did he feel the need to apologise.

As her manager, I'd want to know. She's not just putting her job on the line, she is a threat to the business.

was that during covid?

The client, I’d be finding another venue or event planner! She sounds unable to manage her work diary, how will she manage your event?

Agreed, my kids are 5 and 10 and I have childcare arranged for all my working days. The only time I have ever worked with them here was emergency sickness.

I get the cheeky sods trying to palm off their kids on me because I'm off work. *Hi Tiddles, my Precious is really missing Little Tiddles. Can he come over and play?'. NO! No he can't. Firstly, Little Tiddles is almost 13 and has no interest in a play date with a 5 year old. Secondly, I'm off work to recover from cancer not to fill in gaps in your childcare arrangements.

This is it to a 't'. We are not allowed to work from home unless children under age 11 are in childcare, emergencies (and a little bit of leeway) excepted.

It's not about being servile towards your employers; it's about professionalism, doing a fair job for a fair wage, respect for your colleagues and yourself. I can't believe we're still having this conversation years after covid - you can't work while supervising small children. It's not possible.

Depends on the age if the child. If the child needs supervision, is unable to be left alone in a different room, can't feed themselves etc. Compared to a 10yo who will go in and out with their friends, knows how to leave you alone, can heat up their own lunch etc.

In this case obviously the child needs supervision and therefore should have childcare. Wether to report her depends on what she is to you and the project and the relationship with the manager. I might not report it if this was the first insidence but if there are other meetings then I would say that I would appreciate if the meeting didnt have interruptions so we could go through the whole thing.

what they do care about, and quite rightly, is keeping the company going and therefore keeping people employed.

I would absolutely send that email. This isn't a one off, she fully plans to work with her little cute darling with no regard for anyone else. That was a complete and utter waste of your time because she will not pay for childcare. Before all this working from home was a thing people just HAD to pay for childcare or have no job, they now take the absolute piss. I had to let someone go for the exact same reason. She was looking after 2 small kids while trying to do team calls. I let it slide the first few times but it got too much and it was wasting everyone's time. Her reason? She was saving for a holiday.

As she was external I don’t really think it’s your place to report back to her boss, more appropriate to report to the decision maker in your company who can then choose not to engage with her company anymore if you think it’s enough of a problem.

I find it really annoying. During covid my primary aged DCs did their school work while I worked in the same room but knew not to interrupt while I was in a meeting. Whereas my colleague’s DC’s constantly interrupted and he even encouraged them to join in! I used to mute him because of all the noise and nonsense to the point where he thought his laptop had an issue.

Now we all still work from home and one new colleague has her 3 year old at home with her from about 12pm. I don’t know if there is another adult there but he does interrupt a lot and is very demanding. Another colleague looks after her toddler GD at least once a week while working, I do wonder how much she gets done on those days. Our manager is aware, it’s impossible not to notice, but seems ok with it.

No it was three months ago.

I have been in your shoes and have cut the meeting short. I haven’t got time to waste trying to plough through an agenda with someone who only has half an eye on the job. A brisk, ‘I can see you have your hands full, Sandra. Can we reschedule? When are you free to chat?’

I managed to find childcare when I was a single mum, I didn't take my kid on the medical ward to run about as I worked.
It's the attitude that gets me. They don't even try to hide it!!!

If she is prepared to do that on a business call it indicates poor judgement all round. There's a high chance she also doesn't think deadlines are important, that things won't get done that she has committed to or that she will have other priorities. Because if you genuinely think this is OK and can't even arrange child care for a pre arranged meeting and don't have any awareness of how this impacts on the other person's time, then why will your attitude be any different through the whole process you are dealing with.
Like most parents pre covid, we spent up to half our household income on childcare for a good few years and used AL to be at home during holidays, this was to ensure we both kept our professional jobs, pensions and career paths. So whilst the new flexibility is a good thing, these situations are exactly why it will become less common and we will end up moving back to office attendance.