Not to share inflatables by the pool

[Sally20099]

We’re on our summer holiday in Europe. During our Easter holiday two children started playing with DD float (a giant mermaid) and it got a puncture during their rough play. This was on day 3 and DD was rightly upset. This holiday I said she didn’t have to let anyone borrow her new inflatable if she didn’t want to but if she made friends or wanted to make friends she should IF they ask. So far three children have just randomly grabbed and started playing with her stuff (twice it was by the pool but once it was by our sunbeds!). We have always been happy to share if people ask if they can play, borrow or join in, but right in front of their parents they are just grabbing our stuff and playing with it. I understand children will do this but I expect the parents to say something like “this isn’t yours, put it back” or “have you asked if you can play with it because it isn’t yours”. I think this behaviour is unbelievably entitled from children and parents so now I keep it by my sunbed the entire time it’s not in use. People just taking stuff that doesn’t belong to them with out asking is a tigger for me so I’m trying to under if my reaction is fair or am I just an uptight killjoy?

If it’s not kept with you then they probably don’t realise and think it belongs to the resort.

No it’s not natural to take and play with items that do not belong to you if you are over about 3! I would be cross if my kids did this. They should be taught to ask first

I'm surprised the other way round, at people being so entitled they think they can take other people's things and use them. Can I drive your car? Wear your clothes? You should provide your own stuff and not expect to nick other people's.

YANBU!
I'd never let my child take other children's things. In fact, she's only 5 but knows that isn't OK. I can't even imagine her doing that.
Children don't have to share their belongings if they don't want to. I've never made my daughter share, ever, and yet she often chooses to by herself.

God, we've got an all inclusive coming up and I'm not looking forward to this. We've stayed with family on previous holidays and had the luxury of a private pool with no CF parents to deal with!

I actually assumed we were talking about young kids of around that age rather than old enough to actually comprehend what is and isn’t theirs …

This. If the inflatable isn’t in use, put it by where you’re sitting. I agree that it can be ambiguous about something like that.

We’ve just come back from a week away. The ones left in the pool did look slightly ambiguous, especially as there were a few the same style. So anyone leaving them there is leaving them open for them to mistakenly get played with and parents might be slow to realise their children shouldn’t be.
One a sunbed, in any and all circumstances someone’s and not to be touched.
However our resort seemed to have no issue with kids taking stuff, ours wasn’t taken and aside from asking my 5YO to put some diving sticks back that weren’t hers we didn’t take anything.
The inflatables weren’t insanely marked up, if you wanted them it’s likely you could afford them if you’d gone there in the first place. 16 euros for 2 sets of armbands and 2 small fun rings. Don’t think the large ones were silly either so perhaps that stopped the CF behaviour or Id have expected it!

We live near an outdoor pool and kids often snatch my children's inflatables in the summer. We was there once sat at a bench with the inflatable next to us with dds dress on as she was changing when a child ran over grabbed it and jumped straight into the pool with it with dds dress still on it! Needless to say it was soaking wet so she had nothing dry to wear home after that. The mother didn't even apologise. This was the UK so no mistaking thinking it was a communal float, everyone takes theirs home and it was right by our bench with the dress on it.

get a marker and put her name on it

never take anything on holiday that you would be unhappy to see lost, stolen or broken.

It doesn't help, though. The child doesn't know whether she should or should not share if she's already good enough friends, or share because she'd potentially like to be friends, or just because someone asks (i.e implies they want to) or some combination of the above. Surely she needs a clear yes or no so she can give a clear yes or no in the moment when wanting to assert boundaries. But it seems like OP doesn't really mean the things she's told her dd!

I'm also inclined to think that if this keeps happening, from by the pool or the sunlounger, those kids have been given some indication they can borrow if they'd like to. Certainly seems the repeated going and getting it back hasn't been followed up with telling them not to take it again.

Is this the reason most pools don’t allow inflatables in the first place?

The kids were 5 or 6 - the parents who let it happen (including taking it from our sun loungers were 35+). I think all should know it’s not ok to take without out asking.

Taking it from your sun loungers definitely isn’t ok! If they’d been left by the side of the pool there was more chance of it just being a mistake or them thinking it was communal.

Just read your update. I'd tell them next time they take it from my lounger, "no sorry, these are mine." They won't do it again.

How old would you expect them to be to understand that?

Thx for the lecture

What are you doing on MNet then. It's 90% first world problems

I do this with my own inflatable. Left it at the side of my lounger whilst sunbathing and when I was too hot and fancied a dip with my inflatable some kids were playing on it. Obviously I’m not a dragon so let them play, as soon as they let it go, I got it and got on it. Once out of the pool it was under my lounger whenever I wasn’t using it.

I mean, how was this ever going to go the way OP wanted when she couldn't even make it clear to her own child what the supposed rules were. Of course these kids continue to take the piss because they haven't been told no.

Can you bring a small bike lock and attach them you your loungers / a railing when not in use?