Son told not to smile for photo

[Notthisagain13]

My 5yo ds has got a really funny smile at the moment. It’s like he hasn’t quite learnt to smile and sort of oversmiles so scrunches up his face a bit. However it’s very cute and it’s his smile at the end of the day. It’s not like he’s pulling a hideous face, he’s like it in all his school photos, it’s just funny and sweet.

My mil and sil were taking some photos of the grandchildren and mil told ds to stop smiling for the photos.

She kept telling him don’t smile like that, and then just told him to stop smiling for the photos.

Aibu to think that she was being out of order?

My husband has a weird smile in posed photos. The secret is to take several ,one after another. In the first one he will look like Wallace. Then he'll relax and laugh and look lovely in all the others. Ask MIL to do that.

I think it's disgusting of your mil, his grandmother, telling him not to smile. I'm sorry, huge back story or not, she needs telling. Unless you and your hubby are frightened of being cut out of her will, stand up to her and tell her straight. Your son needs to know his parents are there for him and that includes telling your mil to back off. At the end of the day your little boy should come first!

Notthisagain13, I think it's disgusting of your mil, his grandmother, telling him not to smile. I'm sorry, huge back story or not, she needs telling. Unless you and your hubby are frightened of being cut out of her will, stand up to her and tell her straight. Your son needs to know his parents are there for him and that includes telling your mil to back off. At the end of the day your little boy should come first!

Has your dc actually been upset by this? Or did they just take it in their stride as another annoying instruction e.g. stand over there, look this way, lift your chin up, give us a smile, don't smile etc. Not sure what the pp who suggested he will be scared for life is on about, I bet it didn't even register. I can see why you are upset but it really isn't that big a deal is it. You can take as many photos as you like of his weird smile.

That felt really unkind when I read it but on the other hand, my youngest does the same thing when asked to smile but his natural smile is beautiful and so I find myself asking him to laugh when I want to take a photo so that I’m able to capture his natural smile & so it looks like him when I look back at the photo. Having read this post, I now feel terribly guilty for it. 😓

Tbh I do think this can be pretty damaging for a child. My mum does this to my daughter. She's 4 years old and recently had a graduation ceremony so when she came home with the certificate I took some pictures of her to send to family. She did the goofiest most beautiful smile and my mum corrected her smile. I told mum her smile is beautiful and when I posted the pic I posted the one with the biggest scrunchiest smile. I then went home and told my husband and told him to tell my mum point blank if he ever heard her say it.

Do you even have children?

My son wasn’t ‘gurning’

Although tbh your username says a lot about your level of intelligence.

That’s just bitchy and unnecessary.

Yes 5 grown children and I work with children including this age group every day.

If that was at all true then you would know what gurning means. You’d also know that a 5 year old isn’t gurning just because their smile doesn’t suit my mils idea of what her photographs should look like.

Oh I miss my ds' 5 year old smile/grimace

Gosh. And you don’t know that some young kids unintentionally have odd smiles as they are learning! That’s strange ignorance!

Thanks, that’s why that comment really peed me off.

My ds is definitely not pulling faces, he’s just got a bit of an odd smile at the moment. It’s not even awful he just oversmiles. To anyone who loves him it’s very funny and cute.

That poster sounds very unaware considering she’s supposed to have 5 children and work with children.

I thought your comment was worse to be honest. Gurning is just shorthand for pulling a daft face, I don’t think it was intended offensively in that context.

My DS is five in December and even though I love him I think his forced smile looks slightly psychotic but his normal appearance is lovely. I do think you’ve massively overreacted and taken offence where none was intended, both to your MIL and to the poster you’re quoting. You’ve had two really spiteful comebacks to her so it's a bit odd that you consider yourself an arbiter of what is respectful language TBH.

The definition of gurning is to pull a distorted and grotesque face.

The poster also said that it was being done deliberately. Neither is true. Nor is Ds ruining photos.

You are both entitled to your opinions, but given that you haven’t actually seen my ds you can’t really make the assumption that he’s gurning, running photos, or doing anything deliberately.

In future I shall quietly tell my mil not to bother taking photos if she is going to be critical about his smile.

DS has an awful forced smile, I'd say to him 'why are you making this face/', then exaggerate what he's doing - it would make him laugh and then I'd get a natural photo. I've also probably said to him not to smile because it looks more natural then. Was he upset by it OP?

Yes, distorted, not natural, can look a bit like Bruce from Finding Nemo.

She didn’t say he was grotesque or anything! In turn, you came back with calling her thick and demanding to know if she had children (which is very hurtful for some women to read; being fertile doesn’t make you superior to those who are not)

I’m sure he isn’t ruining photos deliberately, my own DS is the same. I have told him to stop smiling on occasion as when he looks normal he’s adorable; when he forces a smile it isn’t a great look tbh.

😂😂

The definition of gurning is to pull a distorted and grotesque face. The poster said ds was gurning, deliberately and ruining the photos.

Given that I’ve already explained in my op that ds isn’t pulling a face, he’s just over smiling a bit. It’s very sweet albeit slightly funny. It’s not hurtful to ask someone if they have children, nor does having/not having children make someone superior. However if you don’t have children then you might not understand that 5 year olds aren’t very conscious of how they look.

Ds wasn’t upset but he was very confused.

Mil had him and his cousin and she was telling them to smile, say cheese and all of that. Then she started picking at ds smile and started telling him not to smile. She made it very obvious.

Given she never bothers with him unless it’s to photograph him for facebook yes it does get on my nerves.

It’s obviously upset you but she can’t see your son, I’m sure he’s not grotesque or distorted but forced smiles can look like that.