Son told not to smile for photo

[Notthisagain13]

My 5yo ds has got a really funny smile at the moment. It’s like he hasn’t quite learnt to smile and sort of oversmiles so scrunches up his face a bit. However it’s very cute and it’s his smile at the end of the day. It’s not like he’s pulling a hideous face, he’s like it in all his school photos, it’s just funny and sweet.

My mil and sil were taking some photos of the grandchildren and mil told ds to stop smiling for the photos.

She kept telling him don’t smile like that, and then just told him to stop smiling for the photos.

Aibu to think that she was being out of order?

You’re going to have to toughen up (both of you) to make sure you have your kids backs! Never mind them having the last word, you have the last word!

Just here for more about the ugly fish..😀

Amazing typo!

My DB used to do a 'tortoise smile' where he'd just stretch his mouth instead of smiling. My DM had a whole mantelpiece full of school photos of him looking as though he were being tortured and they are amusing, but not particularly 'cute' to look back on. It would have been better for him and posterity if he hadn't been forced to smile.

Gives me something to tease him about sixty years on though. That and the haircut.

So I think it was out of order to tell your DS not to smile, OP, but you might look back on his 'cute' smiling attempts in thirty years time and wonder what he was up to.

Huge back story SHOCKER!!!!

Don’t get it?

This is probably one of the most surreal responses I’ve seen on MN. 😁

Time for a name change, #UglyFishToFry?

It’s a great name 😁

My eldest has something similar. We have a funny saying that we say in unison for a family photo. It’s mildly rude so guarantees a big genuine smile instead of the sinister grimace of a murderess.

What was the typo? (I think it might be my favourite post ever🤭)

If your ds doesn’t see at least one of his parents advocating for him op, he will grow up as meek as your husband.

Because whenever there’s a similar thread about family relationships…. There’s always a back story

Awful women. Kids are super sensitive at that age.
That would have been red rag to a bull for me. Id have been ripping them to shreds about all their flaws

I frequently told my kid to stop smiling to try and get a decent photo of her 😂🤦‍♀️ she did say she didn’t know why her face did that in photos so was aware she had an odd smile thing going on.

Oh that would have really helped 🙄

Almost every kid I know had the "cheeeeeeeeese," years for photos. It's cute looking back, more lively than a demure Mona Lisa style smile.

Tell DS you love his smile and stand up for him next time, but don't escalate it now or he'll think it's an even bigger deal.

Just look at it as training for passports and licenses?

@Butchyrestingface baked rather than fried maybe😋

"I’d rather look back at his lovely beaming little face than know he was told not to smile."
so take your own photo - most kids probably have their photos taken dozens of times daily - hardly as if it's a once annually school photo.

Mine went through this daft phase… used to open his mouth wide when his bigger teeth were coming through… hideous… but he grew out of it, thankfully!
You could use some of the school photos from that time to keep witches from the door!
I refused to buy one years set as they were so dreadful - do the photographers tell them to smile and just snap away, however bad it looks?

I think it depends on how it was said (sharply or more diplomatically), tbh. It's not necessarily that awful to occasionally ask a child to tone down facial expressions for photos, but you can do it in a way that's more neutral or even positive, almost like you're directing a photo shoot. One of the benefits of digital cameras and phone cameras is that we can take a million pictures until we we a good one.

Sorry, should have said DS was around 5-8 years old when he was doing this.

Yes but OP said, Mil asked him to just stop smiling after not being happy with his initial expression. Also, why can’t people just let kids be kids?! Especially a 5 year old?! I think that’s part of the charm of seeing children growing up from their natural - sometimes photogenic angelic smiles - all the way down to the goofy and out there smiles! Then the inevitable self-conscious smiles we develop as young adults when we don’t like our crooked teeth or we have self image troubles right through to the confident tongue out or pouting many kids do as young adults.

Little kids can be quite sensitive and it would be so sad if a child internalised being asked to change (or worse as with OP stop the smile altogether) and then become nervous about ‘smiling correctly’ - heartbreaking! If it were my son, out of earshot, I’d be very clearly explaining to her this is not okay and to never do it again!

As quickly as you say it happened I’d be quicker with “Don’t talk to him like that!”

Things like that don’t happen so fast that you can’t speak up for your child especially around family.

“Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face”

Ever since family photos were a thing (and probably when rich aristo’s were sitting for their paintings!) there’ll always be some member of the family telling another to pull their face straight. You either laugh along and crack on with your day and nobody will think of it again or you make a big deal about it, cause friction and cement the memory in your child’s mind forever more!