To ask how you made friends in your 30s and older?

[Tart306]

More than just casual acquaintances.
I'm finally trying to move on from my group of schoolfriends who see me as some sort of outlier and make little jibes about how I regularly change job, hair, travel and so on just because it's so alien to how they live their lives.
Little jokes about how they can't imagine me being a mother or doing xyz hobby.
Never, ever travelling to visit me and ignored my messages when I invited them to my housewarming when I bought my home.

So I'm looking to make connections with like-minded people. I'm quite introverted and not wanting people to meet up constantly with or be in touch with all day every day.

However I find it hard as an adult, I get on well with my workmates and there are occasional group events.
I've recently started a new hobby, only been 3 times but I know it takes time.
Any other ideas?
I tried bumble bff but I found pepple either just ghosted or would type 'yhh hun u x' and not much else.

In my 60s I joined a fun choir, and also started some voluntary work. I think one of the most important things that helped some of us to grow our friendships there was to set up WhatsApp groups and use them. So, for example, if I want to see a film or go for a coffee I'll message that I'm going and if anyone wants to join me that would be great. The others do the same. I'd say from this I've gained 6 good friends and a large group of very pleasant acquaintances. Be proactive, don't wait for someone else to do the inviting, and the rest should follow.

Dump your current friends, it is better to have none, than fake friends. ❤️
It is difficult to make new friends as we get older, maybe join a creative class.
Remember you're not the only one looking for a fresh batch. There'll be other people too.

I'm a fan of the 'just keep doing what you do, and friendship will happen' approach, as no attempt to deliberately make it happen has ever worked for me - possibly because I'm an introvert as well, and not really a joiner. I've tried joining various activity groups, but never made any long-term friends. Instead friendships have grown, like weeds, through just randomly meeting sympatico people in various unlikely scenarios. Possibly the oddest is two distant cousins found through a DNA testing site, both of whom are now friends; or perhaps the oddest is my DH's first wife - no one can ever quite believe that we're actually friends. Also a French friend first met on Conversation Exchange, the language-practicing site; my ex-boss, who turned out to be a good friend after we were all made redundant; a group on flickr (including my eventual DH) who I first knew as online-only friends and then hung out with when I moved to London; and a lovely couple who I first hired as pet sitters. And of course the friend I met on a plane one stormy night as I raced across the world to get to my mother's deathbed. The stranger in the seat next to me had just come from her dad's funeral; we talked nonstop for the entire 11-hour flight and then exchanged numbers. In all of these cases friendship grew totally randomly because both parties were open to it, so that's the lesson I take away. Of course YMMV...

Met one friend when I started working at a pub and we just clicked. Met another who was attending gym classes at the same time, just got talking and arranged to meet one evening a week for a walk and a natter. We're really close now and have been away on holidays together with the kids.

Recently joined a local women only group that meet for walks and beach dips and I've met someone who I keep in text contact with but we're both keen to meet up again when we're able. It's not easy, especially as I usually stay on the outside of groups, but it does get easier to put yourself out there.

Whatsapp has worked well for a group in my village. Sending a message out suggesting 'anyone fancy a coffee/wine/theatre trip' is a no-pressure way of doing it and seems to work well.

Try joining a political party. I joined the Local Conservatives and they are constantly doing things eg social events, delivering leaflets, canvassing on doorsteps etc. You can join in as much or as little as you like. You might even feel you’d like to stand as a councillor.