Location sharing- I think I’m worryingly in the minority

[PomPomHead]

I am seriously worried that I’m in the minority here and the world’s gone mad. Why would you share your location All The Time with every member of your family ( even, as in the case of my friends, with your
married 30 year old daughter!)? Why does nobody feel able to be independent and unwatched ? It baffles me and nobody has been able to persuade me of the so-called safety benefits?
Is checking your location now the new showing me you love me?

See that’s what doesn’t bother me. I don’t use it for that. I can ask someone. Eldest is in far east - knowing where he is if something happens somewhere random is useful. Uni is for DD I know she’s home safe without checking up on her if she has been out. Interestingly I didn’t ever check on eldest at uni. It’s probably because she’s a girl I like to know she got home and she wouldn’t tell me.

I agree with you 100%, OP.
The only justification would be learning difficulties, dementia etc.
Nobody needs to know where I am - nor I them. A competent adult has a right to their independence and privacy. Fortunately, my husband feels exactly the same, because if he were to ask me to share my location, it would be a dealbreaker.
I don't understand why adults feel the need to be babies in this way but, I guess, that's their choice.

Obviously. A tool can be used for good or harm. I’m not sure there’s any way to mitigate the potential harm in this case.

People make different choices. It’s not ‘creepy’ or ‘nuts’ to choose to use location sharing.

I use it with my 3 teens. For practicality, rather than safety reasons. They check where I am in terms of coming home after work, bringing them to training etc, when I can’t always take a call; it’s particularly useful with my 2 DSs as they are poor to answer their phones / messages, usually as they are playing sport & so I can see where they are & usually work out their plans from there.

it works for me; clearly not everyone would find it useful so they don’t need to use it 🤷🏻‍♀️ but no need to make sweeping generalisations.

But why do you need to know when he'll be home? I have been married for 35 years, and I've never asked my husband this. He had a busy, unpredictable job, so he turned up home when he was ready.

We have recently with our 14 yo as he is going out with friends more etc (with his permission).

I might with my parents if either of them became vulnerable in old age (eg dementia) but again with permission

So I think there are times and places where it is useful.

I don't understand why adults feel the need to be babies in this way but, I guess, that's their choice

Why are they being ‘babies’?

if it works for their lifestyle & practical arrangements, how is it an issue? It’s a practical measure, not ‘babying’ anyone.

I only share with my teenage DD, as I think if I'm asking to see her location its only fair that she can see mine. I only really use it to see how close to home she is when she's coming back from away matches, so I know when to start dinner, but I like having it there as an option if she doesn't come home when she's supposed to. And I'll be checking my son's GPS watch when he first starts walking to school so I can see that he's got there on time (as he'll be leaving home alone so no one to remind him to leave on time)

"The only justification"? People don't need to justify their choices. As you say, a competent adult has a right to their independence, and that includes making choices as a couple to share their location with each other if they so choose.

I am probably too invested in this thread. I will admit it's not a nice feeling for people to continually insist that it's controlling or problematic or "adults feeling the need to be babies" when several of us have entered the discussion in good faith to explain that we just find it helpful for practical reasons. It feels needlessly unkind tbh. I'm sure some people do use it to control their partners or children, but to tar every single person who uses the technology with that brush is inaccurate and unfair.

My husband is a mountain biker and road cyclist. He always cycles alone. He doesn't have it. It just wouldn't occur to him to get it.
All it shows is where your phone is anyway, which (if lost or stolen) could be miles away from the person.

As long as it’s a choice then there’s nothing wrong with it.

I’m in a 360 circle with my DH and in another with a group of very close friends. We find it comforting because we’ve all experienced some very traumatic events where friends and family have died (a terrorist attack, car accident, murder - you genuinely couldn’t make it up) so this is our comfort blanket. Everyone in the group fully consents.

I also travel a lot on my own for work to places like India, Thailand, China so again I know DH and my friends find it reassuring when I’m away , especially given what we’ve all been through.

But why do you need to know when he'll be home?

Practicality? Dinner arrangements? Bringing / collecting kids? Presumably it’s not the only way they communicate but it clearly can be useful.

You actually check where your daughter who is at uni is?? So you know if she stays at someone’s or anything? She’s left home, she’s an adult! God I’d hate that.

If someone is an abusing controller, taking the app away from them won't stop them being an abusing controller. The app is neither here nor there.

Are you saying that no-one was in an abusive controlling relationship before mobile phones?

Yes, I guess it's likely that the people who are so averse to using these apps either don't trust their partner to not be controlling/judgemental or who know that they are doing something actually wrong which they are trying to hide (affairs etc). But for normal loving families in healthy relationships, this is a useful tool. No-one is "stalking", "checking up on" etc because we're not abusive and we don't stalk each other. We use the app where we would otherwise have to call or text or wait around.

It’s easier to look on the app to see if DH is on the train than to text and wait for a reply. If he’s driving I can make a guess when he’ll be home, and vice versa. I don’t spend the day watching his every move.

I have it with my partner and kids. When the kids turned 16 I told them they could turn it off but they like it. I don’t pore over it every day but it’s useful sometimes if someone wants to be picked up.

What about feeling you have to because someone says it’s completely normal and fine. It isn’t. No thanks

I have it with my kids.
It works for us, and we're all happy with it.
It really shouldn't bother you why other people use it, if it's not for you, that's fine.

Same here. My husband knows when to put my dinner on for me getting home from work (I rarely leave at the same time) without me having to call every time and say where I am. He can check my progress on my journey back from a weekend away to know when to tidy up.

We have a home assistant that he set up to ping when he leaves the office. That turns out to be my reminder to ask him to pick something up on the way home.

I frequently get texts from school saying my daughter hasn’t registered for class (not her fault, the system is shit for kids with disabilities) I can check her location to make sure she is in the building instead of having to call the school and check. Every. Bloody. Time.

We can all turn it off whenever we want, no questions asked.

No it's weird and unnecessary

No one in my family does it, other than under 18s. Once they reach 18, they switch it off.

I don't share my own location with anyone, and I don't track anyone else's location either, but I have no issue with anyone else sharing theirs as they see fit. It's a free choice!

Life 360 here and very happy with it. There are so many ways of tracking these days. Do you not share anything with your friends and family? We share the same parking apps, Dartford crossing account, netflix account, shopping apps. So if I had the mind to do it I could probably work out that DS had gone over the bridge, parked in Canterbury, bought some crisps in Asda and finally logged into Netflix in the hotel.
Obviously I have no interest in doing this, but let's not kid ourselves we have privacy.

Yeah it's weird, I don't get it. Also it tracks the location of a phone not a person. Any kidnapper worth their salt is binning the phone!

To you… others don’t find it weird. And that’s okay.